Hi - this is my first posting and it's difficult putting this low stage in my life into words for strangers to read. (better strangers who can relate than family and friends who don't understand or choose not to). I'm 49 years old, un-happily married with 2 kids in their 20's both away at university. This is my third round with depresseion - each 'episode' lasting longer and feeling worse. I have now been medicated for almost 1 1/2 years on Celexa and Wellbutron. Despite my meds I am again in a very bad place - gaining weight, not getting out of bed, not showering or getting dressed and avoiding any and all social contact. I find the holidays hard even when I'm well. To the outside world I'm the Queen of Christmas with my house decorated from top to bottom - they don't know my private hell.
I'm not suicidal but the saddness is so overwhelming it's scaring me. I'm not sleeping - use gravol (6 or 7 at a time) to fall asleep and then am up 3 or 4 hours later wandering my house in the dark.
I can't get a dr's appointment until the 30th of this month and I'm not sure I can last.
Thanks for listening - any advise would be great.
Hi - this is my first visit to this site. I am 49 years old, unahappily married with 2 university aged kids. I have been suffering from depression for almost 5 years. I know realize that in order for me to stay mentally healthy it is necessary for me to stay on my medication. I am presently on Celexa and Wellbutron but am currently in a very low state of mind and am finding coping difficult.
As much as I love Christmas and decorating my house from top to bottom, I can barely stand to get out of bed in the morning - never mind showering or getting dressed. (I am currently off work on short term disability for a non-related injury and am unable to drive.)
When I wake up about 4:30 I wander around the house hoping to be able to get back to sleep. I am gaining weight and find any excuse to avoid social gatherings.
My friends and family don't know about my depression - or if they do no one ever mentions it.
I'm trying to talk myself out of this slump but then I think - why bother, who cares - certainly not me!
Is anyone else medicated but not coping over the holidays?
Thanks for letting me rant