Introduction from a military wife

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Babers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 3/25/2010 10:38 PM (GMT -7)   
My name is Sarah. I'm 24 years old, married to a U.S. Air Force sergeant. I have two kids, aged 3 (my son) and 4 (my daughter). I have had depression issues since I was 13, when I had my first noticeable episode. By the time I was 17, my parents had kicked me out of the house for dating a guy they did not approve of (my now husband). He joined the Air Force soon after we got married, and 7 months later, I was pregnant with my first baby (I was age 19 when she was born). While I was pregnant with her, my husband had to go to a separate base for training. He was gone for 6 months, and got back a week before Emilie was born. By that time, I had already been hit hard with depression, at which point my doctor put me on Zoloft. It did nothing. I had some insomnia while I was pregnant, but was so exhausted all the time after she was born, I the insomnia went away.

When Emilie was 7 months old, I found out I was pregnant with her brother. The depression that started before I had Emilie was triggered by my husbands absence, and subsequent issues caused by that (not PPD)... it never went away. I had Jack when in December of 2006. I was switched to Prozac, but the side-effects irritated me. Dry mouth, insomnia, no sex drive, a general feeling of indifference... I decided to fight my depression by boosting vitamins and exercise. That plan failed. The insomnia, sex drive issues, and depression lingered. Then came a new symptom... I couldn't talk to anyone except my husband or brother on the phone. I found I would have anxiety attacks when I had to use the phone, and knowing I was being irrational about something so silly, I sought out doctors.

Depression runs in my family, but they live under the stigma that depression is an "excuse" and not a valid medical condition. For years, I avoided really tackling my issues until my OCD kicked in. My type of OCD is as follows:

OCD without overt compulsions

OCD sometimes manifests without overt compulsions.[18] Informally[citation needed] nicknamed "Pure-O", OCD without overt compulsions could, by one estimate, characterize as many as 50 percent to 60 percent of OCD cases. Rather than engaging in observable compulsions, the person with this subtype might perform more covert, mental rituals, or might feel driven to avoid the situations in which particular thoughts seem likely to intrude. As a result of this avoidance, people can struggle to fulfill both public and private roles, even if they place great value on these roles and even if they had fulfilled the roles successfully in the past. Moreover, a sufferer's avoidance can confuse others who do not know its origin or intended purpose, as it did in the case of a man whose wife began to wonder why he would not hold their infant child.


My depression feeds off my anxiety, which feeds off my depression, which causes insomnia, which causes depression/anxiety, which causes insomnia... You can see my point.

I have been on Zoloft (no effect) Wellbutrin (no effect), Prozac (no depression, but no other feeling either) and most recently Lexapro. The Lexapro is doing miracles for my depression with NO side-effects...my OCD is another story, and my insomnia is never ending. So far, no doctor has really been able to help much, however, knowing what I have, and recognizing when I'm about to have an OCD situation REALLY helps me recognize what's going on and mentally put a block on the problem. I still have pretty continuous anxiety, but my meds have made it manageable, at least until I can find a better remedy. My doctor(s) have advised me though that my depression/OCD/insomnia is probably hereditary, and most likely permanent.

Knowing I'll be on meds the rest of my life used to add to my depression, but now I try to remember it's like any other chronic issue... diabetes, heart disease, and any number of other problems that are required to have life-time treatment. Getting past the stigma other people hold for me of being the "crazy person with depression and weird OCD" is tough though.

I'm depressed. I have OCD, insomnia, TMJ (resulting in chronic teeth pain and headaches), tendinitis in both arms, and migraines. Many people have it worse than me, but even so, I want to share what I've learned during the last 6 years+ I've dealt with this.

I am Sarah... mother of two great kids (who drive me up the wall, but the good times make up for that)... and wife to a military sergeant.

Liddlesadie
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 3/26/2010 4:48 AM (GMT -7)   
I tried many different medications as well, and nothing really seemed to do anything.. I felt like I was in a daze all the time , instead of having any feelings I had none. Later I learned when my panic attacks were about to occur I would immediately start writing my feelings down.... I tried to get at the root of why they were happening... I figured it out and it finally went away, It was a long hard road for me but I did it and feel stronger for overcoming the attacks. I had repetitive thoughts that would lead to the attacks, when I figured out what the images meant in my head , i felt better actually knowing the root cause.
You are being soo strong for your husband and kids for getting support and finding a med that works for you.
I write a lot of poetry, and keep a journal of my feelings... it helps to go back and say "hey i made it through that day and it was much worse than I feel today. I can get through this one too" It will just make you stronger than you already are!

Take care and thanks for sharing Sarah!

-Sadie

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/26/2010 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sarah,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. You have come to a good place, we can keep you company. It must be hard to have your husband gone all of the time, but it will work out in the end. Hopefully he will be able to retire at a younger age and you will have many years together.

Your children must be adorable. You sound like a good wife and mother. I admire that. It is obvious that you are trying hard and working hard on everything. You will be glad that you did, in the future you will be happy. And your kids will love you for this. Take it one day at a time. I know that you get lonely, but we are here for you. Never hesitate to post when you need to.

Know that we are all here for you. And know that we support you.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 3/26/2010 6:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Sarah,
You are not alone! There is a reason why zoloft is called the military wife vitamen. It is extrodinarily stressful to be the spouse of someone in the service. I would ask if there are therapists (I know there is a big stigima about therapy in the military) availible at the Family Advocacy Center? Sometimes it does just help to talk with someone.
Hugs,
Navy
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


Babers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 3/26/2010 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for the welcoming responses.

I am in the process of getting into therapy at the FAC but I am having to put off dealing with my medical issues until after we move. We just got orders to a new base in 2 months, so everything has to sit on the back burner until we move.

In the meantime, I've been writing a fictional book to keep my mind occupied on something else. It really helps my insomnia when I think of what will happen in my next chapter instead of obsessing over whatever real life issue my brain decides to focus on.

If only I had found these forums years ago!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/26/2010 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
You are writing a book? That is AWESOME!!! You will have to tell us a little about it. I have always wanted to write something, but don't have the brain to do so. Though I never have really tried. Just think I don't have the brains. lol...

Make sure to take care of you in all of the moving and such. You have to take care of you in order to help anybody else. You have to be healthy. I hope that you get set up with whatever it is that you need. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Know that we are always here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 7:26 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,736,162 posts in 301,356 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151449 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, iwanttocry.
280 Guest(s), 5 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
bluelyme, Ides, tickcheckguy, Xmaslover, minnietoty


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer