I'm new here. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 2 years ago, though i have had it for a lot longer i think. I am in my 30s, married, no kids. To make a long story short, last year i cut off contact with my entire family after years of emotional and physical abuse. My wife has been very supportive and helpful.
One thing that has been bad though is because my mom was so overbearing, mean, and manipulative that is how I have treated my wife. That is to say I have taken out all of my anger, fear, and frustration with how my mom treated me on my wife. I have been working on this in therapy for the past two years and it hasn't gotten any better.
I know my wife is not my mother but when something comes up I can't stop the initial gut reaction of acting like a little kid who has just been punished or caught doing something wrong. I lie, make up stuff, all so that i hopefully won't get my wife mad at me, which is just what i used to do to my mom.
I am currently on Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and Xanax and while they and therapy have helped I still have these issue. My wife talked to me last night and let me know that she is and has been very unhappy in our marriage for a long time because of my issues. She told me that if we weren't upside down on our house she would be gone but now she is contemplating leaving me, ruining her credit, just to get away from me. This is all because I keep treating her like crap and like a mother figure. She wants a husband and not a little boy.
I am not sure what i am really asking for here but i just need to get this out and would like anyone's guidance, opinion or support.