everything's falling apart

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 3/28/2010 10:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm unhappy, sad and depressed. Always. I seem to always be angry with my mom and vent it out on her and I know its hurting her but I can't seem to stop. I'm angry and upset. Everything's just hurting me. I'm lonely and I can't make new friends because they don't want to be my friend since I always have this gloomy face on me. I'm just worried. Insecure. Afraid. The guy I'm currently in love with just got a girlfriend and I have to get over him or the hurting isn't ever going to stop. I saw some things of my first love and I thought, "crap...I'm hurting." after a while. My body's just aching. The things I loved to do and thought I'd be able to be good at it shoves me in the face the fact that there's someone who's better at it, and I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for everything. My grades are dropping. There's no one to help me. I don't want to ask for help. I've learned to do things by myself without anyone helping. Whether I could do it myself or not. I don't have appetite to eat. I'm not getting enough sleep. Things just keep roaming in my head when I try to sleep and when everything's silent and dark, there's this high-pitched sound in my ear and I don't know what it is. I want to change myself but I keep sliding down the hill and all the hard work and strength I've been using and doing isn't enough for me to move on. It's only enough for me not to fall down any more than I already have, but recently that hard work and strength has disappeared and I'm sliding and falling and hurting. No one's there to stop me from falling because no one cares about me enough. My existence isn't important to them and it seems better if I were gone. I feel that drinking milk and exercising would make me feel better. Change me a little no matter how insignificant those two things might seem. I'm a Christian and right now, He isn't with me and I don't know how to get Him to help me, save me. I'm so lost without Him and I keep yelling and calling Him but He isn't answering. I feel so selfish for thinking that He needs to help me. That anyone needs to help me because who I am? I'm just like a typical teenager who's bound to have these kind of problems and there's others who are in a worse case than I am.

I'm sorry. I don't know if I've been ranting and venting. I thought I didn't need to come back to this place. That I would be okay, but as you can see, I'm not. Right now, I'm anything but okay.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18548
   Posted 3/28/2010 11:48 PM (GMT -6)   
hey, did you know that asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness. since you know that your sliding i feel that you need to ask for it. without doing it you become more isloated, more anxious and more depressed. you need to ask for help. especially at school. and remember that 'god helps those who help themselves'. depression sucks, it is draining, and without help it becomes very deep seeded and internalised. please seek help. i recommend that you consult your doctor, i really feel that some counselling will be of great benefit to you. with healing compassion, jamie.

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