I feel empty inside.

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Natalie Ann
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/31/2010 3:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm 16 years old, and lately I've been feeling like I'm walking around in a fog. Doing even the most simple of tasks seem so much harder than they used to. I was abused back when I was 13, and I've never felt comfortable talking about it with anyone. As a matter of fact, this is the first time I've ever admitted to it.
 
After that, I put up a wall. I detached myself emotionally from everything and everyone, although most didn't seem to notice. I feel like the last three years of my life have been a lie, because I've been trying so hard to seem happy, to be society's definition of 'normal', and I think I've done a fairly good job at doing so. I haven't cried for a very long time, and I feel like it would be healthy to get all this emotion out, but whenever I try, the tears just won't come. I'm afraid that because I have tried to be so apathetic about everything, that I have lost the ability to feel.
 
I've never gone to therapy, I'm too afraid to ask my mom to send me to a therapist because I'm afraid she'll think I'm crazy and she won't be proud of me anymore. I can't help but blame myself for letting the abuse happen, like there was somthing I could have done to avoid it, paid more attention to the red flags.
 
I don't know if any of this is really making sense, my thoughts are all jumbled up, but I just thought I should get it all out.
 
Thank you for your time,
Natalie

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 3/31/2010 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
first off the abuse is not your fault. second you need to go to your mom and admit you need help. she wont be disappointed in you she loves you. it takes a strong person to admit you need help. you need to talk about the abuse to get it out of your head and get better but it is not your fault.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 3/31/2010 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Natalie,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. Worriedgirl is right. This was not your fault. Does your mom know about the abuse? I am sure that she would be there for you and she wouldn't blame you. You did nothing wrong. Nobody deserves this to happen to them.

Know that everybody here cares about you. And this is a place where you can come and let things out. But I do agree that counseling would give you some direction and a ton of support.

Don't feel like you are fake or anything like that. I think you are genuinely a good person and probably for the most part happy. But what you are going through isn't easy for anybody.

I hope that you continue to post. Take care. Be happy, be you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Natalie Ann
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/31/2010 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
No, my mother doesn't know. No one does. I don't want to tell people, because I'm afraid they'll think I'm lying to get attention. I don't know, I think I'll ask my mother to get me a shrink, and see how that goes. Wish me luck, I hope she doesn't bite my head off, haha.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 3/31/2010 5:52 PM (GMT -7)   
I am glad that you are determined to get some help. I am sure that counseling would be the right decision. But you have to be totally honest with the counselor or it doens't help much.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 3/31/2010 6:20 PM (GMT -7)   
hi natalie, after seven years of seeing a psychiatrist i can surely atest to the healings i have received from going. now i no longer need to, albeit if i do in the future i surely will. with compassion,
jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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