Well, I'm new here and I don't really know what to say. I'm just really lonely right now and wanted someone to talk to, so here I am. Spring time seems to be an extra hard time for me, and it's made more difficult because it's so nice out and everyone seems to enjoy life, but I feel like something is missing. Because it is. When I was 14, my grandfather passed away. It was the first time I lost a loved one who I was so close to, and it broke me. I was so sad because we had such a special connection and I still really wish he was around for me to talk to while I'm in college. There are so many things I'm learning and I know he would really appreciate it all. I miss him all the time. Then when I was 15, I lost my uncle. He committed suicide. We weren't incredibly close because he lived so far away, and I hadn't seen him in a very long time, and I am so sad because of it. He was such an amazing person, and when I sat down to write my special memory with him to say at his funeral, I couldn't think of anything. So I didn't say anything. I'm still crushed about that. Anyway, then when I was 17, a good friend of mine passed away. She was 18. She was way too young, and she died in a freak accident. She was perfectly healthy, and so kind and generous. She was bound for great things in this world and she was taken way too soon. I miss them all so so much.
All of their birthdays are in spring, her's is coming up (it's on Earth day, so reminiscent of her. She cared so much about this Earth.) I feel like when I get depressed like this, I become a different person. So aloof from the world. I try really hard to hide it and be happy and normal but I just can't. And now I feel like my best friend is avoiding me. Perhaps because I'm acting different. A lot of my friends are distant from me right now, or maybe it's that I'm distant from them. So I'm really lonely, and that's just making me more depressed.
I'm sorry for the rant, I just had to let it out to someone.