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confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 4/7/2010 5:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone.

It's been awhile since I've been on here. For those of you who I've talked to before, hope you all are well and had a happy Easter! I'm stressed/anxious because I have 8 finals coming up. I'm not passing one of my ten classes. I need a 75% on that final to pass the class. I hope I can do it. I don't want to have to take another retake exam. If I fail the final and fail the retake I'm out of optometry school. It's been a stressful semester and I'm so anxious.
I'm really happy with my bf. We've been dating for almost 10 months now. I know he hates it when I put myself down anytime I don't do well on an exam and when I compare myself to other people in the class. But it's really difficult not to feel upset when I don't do well. I pretty much base my grades on who I am. I'm trying to change. Last night, we got into an argument. I told him I missed him (even though I saw him on Sunday) I still missed him. He told me he missed me too but I could tell he didn't seem interested in how he said it. He also said that if I say it every time we talk it doesn't mean anything and it gets repetitive. I know he was with his brother at a bar and was probably shy to say he missed me in front of him but I was still hurt. So I texted him a few minutes after telling him I was hurt with what he said. He called me later and he told me he doesn't mind when I say it he doesn't say "i love you" or "i miss you" alot even though he feels it because he doesn't think it's genuine if he says it almost every time we talk. I told him that I mean it every time I say it but I won't say it that much since it seems like he gets annoyed whenever I say it. And he said he wasn't annoyed and he doesn't want me to change. But I think he does get annoyed if I say it too much. Was I wrong to bring this up? Am I being overly emotional?

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 4/7/2010 5:37 AM (GMT -7)   
hi jamie here. i think you are both growing together as a couple, thus we all are different, some guys are not as touchy feely as others. it is good that you both have discussed this openly. growing together and still being individuals in the process is a life long process, thus try not to be too hard on each other. your studies, well, do the best that you can, i have taken a sabatical myself, i hope to finish in the next month. remember to be you, love you and be true. with compassion, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 4/7/2010 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confused22,

It is good to hear from you again, but I am sorryb that you are having a hard time. It sounds like it is similar to before. Too much texting.

You know that you can say "I love you and miss you" all day long, but it sounds like showing it is the thing to do. Give space when he needs it. Do not smother him. You will lose him if you do. And it sounds like you really care about this guy.

Make a fresh start. Give him space, work on school. As a matter of fact I am proud of what you are doing in school. Work on that one class that you got a low grade in.

Best wishes to you sweetie.

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 4/9/2010 9:32 PM (GMT -7)   
So I'm crying right now. I got in another argument with my bf. He asked me to go to a baseball game with him and his friends but I didn't go because I needed to study. When he got home I asked if I can come over. He said he's going to go to sleep and I said well I want to sleep next to you. I thought he would say: "Ok. I'll put my phone on loud so when you get here I can let you in." But instead he said "you can come over but there's no guarantee I'll hear my phone." He ALWAYS hears his phone. I was soo upset when he said that. Am I overreacting?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 4/10/2010 5:26 AM (GMT -7)   
It kind of sounds like you are. This is something so trivial hon. But I am glad you stuck to your studying. That is most important right now. Once your finals are over, then you can spend more free time with him. Do what is right for you my dear. I know that we tell you that all the time, but it is what you need to do and he will respect you more for that. Even if he is a little angry or bummed out at the time. You have your career to think about right now. He will get over it.

Take care my friend. Glad that you are back, but wish things were giong better for you. You are a smart cookie. You know what to do.

Hugs, karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 5/2/2010 9:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone! Thanks for the advice. Out of my finals all except 2 went well. Out of the 10 classes I had this semester I passed 8. I am really sad because I just have had a week to prepare for the retake exams. One is on Wednesday and the other is on Friday. If I do not pass both I am out of optometry school and 220,000 dollars in debt. I am so stressed and scared. I am not the only one in this situation. There are a few other people in my class who have to take 2 or more retake exams. I am just sad because most of my class is partying this week and their facebook statuses say "50%" doctor. I am stuck along with about ten others studying for retakes. I just feel stupid and worthless and not doctor material. I'm studying but as I study I think of the worst. My parents, friends and bf have been very supportive of me. If I do not pass then my parents said that I can do whatever I want. I could just switch to another grad school program at this school since I am comforable in Florida now. I am not obligated to move back to Ohio. I am just so sad. I spent all day at the library today. I asked my bf if I could come over tonight to just sleep next to him after I study. He said no because he's going to bed early and doesn't like being woken up. He also said he doesn't see a point in me coming because he will be sleeping. I told him that I just wanted to lay next to him but he just snapped and told me to do whatever I wanted. So I just stayed home. He said he did not want to talk about it. I feel like he should have wanted me to come eventhough he doesn't like being woken up. But maybe I'm being too damding. I am just really depressed right now. I think to myself, why me? Why do I have to struggle in this program while most of the people in my class can pass everything?

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 5/2/2010 11:13:30 PM (GMT-6)


marymn
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 5/2/2010 11:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello confusedgirl22!!!

I think you have well so far and keep going!!!
Don't worry about your retake examination, do work hard and you will find a good result.


Drug Rehab

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 5/3/2010 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Study, study, study. That is my best advice.

I hope that you can work out this and do well on the retake of exams. You will have your whole life to party and work on your relationship with your boyfriend. But this is important. So nose to the grindstone until it is over.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 5/4/2010 2:47 AM (GMT -7)   
i need to fire up an finish mine!!!!!!!!!! jamie. keep well and focused. with kind thoughts, jamie. hoping you are having a better day.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


StazieTheStrange
New Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/4/2010 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, im new to the forum..

Im so stressed :/
I have an exam in 2 weeks. If I dont pass I dont go to uni, simple as.
It's affecting my whole life. I dont eat, I cant sleep, My boyfriend has stopped staying over because my restlessness is affecting his sleeping patterns too.. I feel tired all the time and I cant focus and all of it makes me depressed :(

Sometimes i just want to go to sleep and never wake up...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 5/5/2010 5:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Stazie,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. It sounds like you are under a lot of stress right now. Focus on your studies. Try to put the other stuff out of your mind. This is really important to you I am sure and I want you to pass your exams. So for now work on that. After that we can access your other problems and go from there.

Have you been to a doctor about your depression? There are things out there that can help you. Such as medication and counseling. You might want to talk to a school counselor about the up coming exams and maybe because you are depressed, you can get some extra time to study. If not, I would be having my nose in a book and workign really hard. It is stressful. Bur everybody goes through it so you are not alone.

Keep trying. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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