I'm 15, almost turning 16 in half a year, and I've had Depression and still having it. I'm willing to let go of it now. A lot of you reading this might be thinking, "What's your problem?" Depression wise considering this is a place for healing. I've posted here before and I'm not proud of it because who I truly am is the type of person I hate the most. I like guy with guy(nothing physical) more than a girl with guy but I'm definitely straight, for your information. Its just that the girls I see around me are all so glamorous with their eyeliners, mascara, hair styles, clothes that you'd never see them wear a second time.(I'm not exaggerating) I'm not saying I'm not like that too because I want to be pretty too. For one, if I know I look pretty(in my eyes (; ) then my self-esteem grows a little on that day and the Depression isn't as killing but I'm going to stop all that, the issue with me liking guy with guy, you readers might find it wrong but I don't find it wrong; its love yet at the same time, it seems wrong. It isn't right and I don't mean to offend anyone, I mean it but I'm beginning to find it disgusting. If what I just said offends anyone or against the forum rules, I'm sorry. I've never been a good person so if I offended anyone, it wouldn't be the first time but in strangers' eyes, they say I'm "innocent" or "shy" and it hurts me. I'm not shy, I'm anti-social. "I don't like people"...is what one 'me' would say. The other 'me' would say, "I need people in my life. I don't want to be alone." Suppose I have alter ego is what I recently found out I might have.
Sorry, I suppose I've said too much that does not relate to any of "I want to be a better person." So here are my resolutions:
1) Nothing allowed in my life that relates to guy with guy
My other resolutions are watch my temper, treat my mother better, don't slack of anymore than I am in school, and read the Bible or any other book that relates to Him(in my case, would be my devotion book) and yes, I'm a Christian. It might seem weird since I've never said anything about Him until now but yes, I'm a Christian and I'm trying to find Him right now.
Maybe..I don't have that much resolutions and by now, many might think, "Wrong place to talk about this, you know- -" but I just want people to know that Depression stops you from being who you are and you end up finding wrong things to stop it and...Depression hinders your life which I'm sure many of you already figured out. My message is...move forward, no matter how hard that seems, stop the things that hurt you even more than Depression, and thanks for those that read this through to the end. I appreciate it. A lot. Because I just wanted someone to listen to me since today, for some reason, it feels as if some burden on my chest has been lifted. Temporary, maybe though, so thanks again.