Here's what negative thinking gets you

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 4/21/2010 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
I am very depressed at this point in time. I am a diabetic. Over the last two nights I have eaten a whole 12.60 ounce bag of peanutbutter M&M;s and a whole bag of peanut M&M's. Plus some NERDS. I like those to. You are asking yourself why? I'll tell you why.
I had this lady cop come to my door about 3 nights ago to say or rather state or ask my if I was STALKING one of my neighbor's. Well, I told her that was the first time I heard about it. They even went as far as to put my High Functioning Autistic son into the mix. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. I am so hurt I am being self destructive by eating things I shouldn't be. Negative thinking and my depression has don't it again. I feel sick to my stomache. Plus I haven't slept very good the last three nights. I went to bed at 3:30am this morning but I had a nap between 3pm and 9pm that same evening. I just want to throw up.
I can't believe these people who I thought were my friends are doing this to me and my son. OMG!! I don't understand why they could not have come over to talk to me. Just because I didn't like 2 people they claim I am stalking them. They say I am looking out my windows to see what they are doing. Well I told the cop I have every right to look out my windows and I'm not going to change now just because I live right across from them and can see into their windows. I put up two big paintings in my bedroom window and a green hanging across my son's window for now in the hopes that things would calm down.
Well I have to go here soon to volunteer at the Toy Rescue Mission. I'm going to take an orange with me because I have a DR's appointment later on.
HARA - Blessings

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40384
   Posted 4/21/2010 11:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Hara,

Though this is terrible, don't self destruct. Eat right, and be good to yourself. You are punishing youself for something that you didn't do. Even though eating the m&ms probably felt good at the time, you know what it is going to do to your sugars.

Know that you are a good person and you don't deserve to be treated the way that you are. So try to ignore the neighbors and get on with a happy life.

I hope that your doctor's appointment goes well. Let us know.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2268
   Posted 4/21/2010 3:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry things are going so rough for you right now. Maybe you should get rid of the sugary foods in your house until things settle down a bit. Your son needs you & if you end up in a diabetic coma (or worse) the only people who benefit are your obnoxious neighbors. And they shouldn't get to have any say over your life.

I am a bit concerned about whether you might be borderline suicidal, but I will assume you are just under a lot of stress. I think putting up the curtains & paintings was a really good idea. Yes, you do have every right to look out your window, but no need to add fuel to the fire. If that helps settle things down so you can live in peace, it seems like a reasonable solution.

If you continue to be under a lot of stress, I really would encourage you to talk to a professional counselor. Not because I think anything is wrong with you, just because you have so much to deal with in your life. Autistic children are truly beautiful, but they can be more than a handful at times. Add to that your health condition & your feuding neighbor & it's no wonder you can barely sleep. Having someone to talk to, who's on your side & who can help you figure out how to lessen some of the stress can be very helpful. :)

In the meantime, please take good care of yourself. Get rid of anything that could be used to harm yourself (that includes M&M's) and try to make healthy choices, even if they are hard to make. I am sure you are a wonderful person; you're just going through a really rough time right now. I can relate to that, but even though it feels like things just keep getting worse & there's no end in sight, things do actually get better after a year or so. So, hang in there.

And know you can post here anytime. The people here are HW are really wonderful & supportive people.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 5/2/2010 6:31 PM (GMT -6)   

Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. I don't have the Internet anymore so I'm logging on at the library. I am feeling better now since I posted my posting on the 21st of April.

These so called ex-friends have been away from their apartment for a while. I am assuming they are looking after their dad/grandfather because the spouse is in Arizona. I on occation see the daughter come back on the weekends and check the mail.

 I am planting and replanting some plants. That makes me feel better a little. I'm not eating chocolate anymore. My son was very patient with me yesterday (which is hard for him) when we went to get some more plants and going from here to there. And he go what he wanted at the mall. I had to take one of my cats to the vet on Saturday because of his nail being pulled off. I swear I'm getting them both fixed soon. The vet told me and my son if we get our male cats fixed they probably wouldn't fight as much. Plus I'm going to get them a tape worms shot while I'm at it.

Thanks HARA

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