Just had bad thoughts

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chocholic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 634
   Posted 4/25/2010 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
i've been totally fine all day, no problems. then about an hour ago came up to go to bed (am in UK) and as i lay in the dark everything just crashed down on top of me. Spent most of the last hour sobbing and thinking about how much easier it would be to just take a facefull of pills. How stupid would that be? I'm in therapy but have only been going for a few weeks. I would talk about everything that makes me feel this way but i'm trying not to admit them in the hopes that i will get through tonight without having stupid thoughts again. i'm going out with my best friend tomorrow so i will be ok so long as i get through tonight.
Dx - Crohn's - 2006, Depression = 2010
Currently - Humira fornightly, iron tablets, B12 3 monthly, prenatal vits+minerals
Tried - aza, pentasa, questran, infliximab
No crohns' surgeries to date, Episcleritis for 3 weeks,
Allergic to Infliximab
Doing BSc (Hons) degree Equine Science - some support from uni. This year has had to be split in to two.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 4/25/2010 5:02 PM (GMT -7)   
I am happy to hear you are thinking about seeing your best friend tomorrow. That gives me hope. Thank you... Have you ever tried meditation? I can tell you how if you would like. let me know. It is easy and clears the mind. You focus on your breathing and it takes other things off of your mind. It really helps.

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep hanging in there, know that we all care about you and support you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


chocholic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 634
   Posted 4/26/2010 12:27 AM (GMT -7)   
i made it through the night with no more bad thoughts. Thank you both for your support, it really helps to know people are out there who care. I'm seeing my therapist on wednesday so will be telling her about this. I'm trying hard to stay positive, i have super things coming up to look forward to. thank you both again x
Dx - Crohn's - 2006, Depression = 2010
Currently - Humira fornightly, iron tablets, B12 3 monthly, prenatal vits+minerals
Tried - aza, pentasa, questran, infliximab
No crohns' surgeries to date, Episcleritis for 3 weeks,
Allergic to Infliximab
Doing BSc (Hons) degree Equine Science - some support from uni. This year has had to be split in to two.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 4/26/2010 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
You are so very welcome. Keep up the good thoughts. KNow that we are here thinking about you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 4/28/2010 3:17 AM (GMT -7)   
well done chocholic. where there is a will there is always a way. alike siobhan me, music-a metal head, and early walks with my oversized anti-depressant furball!! pomeranian-buttons. she is 11. it is always good to hear positives on the forum. kind regards, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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