firstly i send my deepest condolences over the loses you have faced. you have been thru a real lot. i think it is real important for you to talk to someone. a specialist counsellor is my suggestion, maybe a chat with your dr. as well. referal, etc. it is very possible that you may be experiencing post natal depression. time to take care of you for a bit. i send healing prayers your way.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.