Neglectful, alcoholic & lazy parents, how do I better not only myself but my younger sibling?

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lalalatara
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/5/2010 4:42 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm seventeen years old.
My stepdad lost his job as a ups driver a year and a half ago due to illness. My mom quit her job to take care of him. He fell into a deep depression and started drinking heavily. Neither one of them work still and all they do is lounge around the house. My stepdad recently sold his truck and motorcycle just to pay the bills. Now my mom and stepdad are now separated but living in the same house because my mom cant afford to move out. My mom has started seeing other people which has infuriated my stepdad and they fight almost everynight. I've had to call the police several times when its become violent. I'm left with comforting my younger brother almost everynight. My mom is a bit lazy and doesn't seem to want to get a job or do anything to better her life let alone her kids lives, all she does is hang out at her boyfriends house for hours, leaving us in the care of our crazed drunk stepdad. I recently had to discontinue highschool to take care of my younger brother and parents. I don't know what to do now. I don't have time to get my high school diploma due to these responsibilities. I myself have fallen into a deep depression because on top of all this I just went through a nasty breakup with my boyfriend of two years which was really just the cherry on top because he was the only person that I had to keep me going. My life has completely spiraled down hill and all the joy has been sucked out of my life due to my dysfunctional family. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do to better myself and my younger brother?

+I live in Texas.

Post Edited (lalalatara) : 5/5/2010 6:23:59 PM (GMT-6)


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 5/5/2010 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   
First thing Bravo for being a really good person in sticking with your bro. I think you might want to contact your school social worker or counselor. Because you need to have your high school diploma and I am worried that you two are seriously in danger. You need a place where you can live without fear. If something happens tonight you tell the police tonight about how you feel you are in danger and you need a children's advocate. Sweetie if your school social worker does not help you out, go the police, church clergy, teacher that you trust, doctor, nurse, etc. and do not get discouraged. Child services is one of the first places I would recommend you call as well. You should not have to drop out of school, because your parents are messed up. There are specially programs for those in your life circumstances. Because education is one of the ways you gett a better life.
I know it can be quite concerning to have to get professonal help, but let's face it your parents are not doing their job.
Take Care,
Navy
P.S. it might help us to know a general location as in like what state you live in?
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 5/5/2010 5:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lalalatara,

Welcome to the depression forum. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. It is like you have taken the roll of your mother. I understand that, because it happened to me, but I was older than you and didn't have as much to lose. You really need to be able to have your education and your brother needs his too. Not to mention your childhood. This is really sad to me, and I truly am sorry.

As Navy said, talk to somebody. A school counselor would be the best thing. What happens when you call the police? Do they say anything to your parents? Is there anything that happens? Let us know. I am wondering what is going on when nobody is interviening. Somebody has to do something about this. All you have to do is talk to somebody.

Keep posting and let us know what is going on.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 5/5/2010 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   

This is from Texas Department of Family Protective Services website:

General Questions

Will the person know I've reported him or her?
Your report is confidential, and it is not subject to public release under the open Records Act. The law provides for immunity from civil or criminal liability for innocent persons who report even unfounded suspicions, as long as your report is made in good faith. Your identity is kept confidential.
What if I'm not sure?
If you have reason to suspect abuse, but are not positive, make the report. If you have any doubts about whether or not it is abuse, call the hotline. They can advise you on whether the signs you have observed are abuse.
What are Abuse, Neglect, and Exploitation?
  • Abuse is mental, emotional, physical, or sexual injury to a child or person 65 years or older or an adult with disabilities or failure to prevent such injury.
  • Neglect of a child includes failure to provide a child with food, clothing, shelter and/or medical care; and/or leaving a child in a situation where the child is at risk of harm.

I have bolded and underlined what I think it is important to know.  Tell then what you have told us about substance abuse, you mom leaving you alone with someone under the influence, and that you have had to quit school in order to care for you brother. 

 

  • 1-800-252-5400
    Call our Abuse Hotline toll-free 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, nationwide.
  • www.txabusehotline.org
    Make your report through our secure web site and you will receive a response within 24 hours.
  • http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Contact_Us/report_abuse.asp

     


    Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

    I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

    All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

    The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

    Make sure your suffering has meaning…


    MMMNAVY
    Veteran Member


    Date Joined Jul 2006
    Total Posts : 6927
       Posted 5/5/2010 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
    I forgot to ask you if you are physcially being touched or hit? Because if you are I want you to contact the police ASAP!
    Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

    I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

    All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

    The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

    Make sure your suffering has meaning…


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40603
       Posted 5/5/2010 7:17 PM (GMT -7)   
    Navy,

    Thank you for providing this information. I am sure this is going to be very helpful to Tara. You are so kind to do this for her.

    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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