Hello everyone, this is my first time on here...or for that matter seeking any help at all.

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-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/6/2010 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello forum helpers, I was very glad to find that this site existed. I just signed in and the chats are empty at the moment, but hopefully I can talk to some people on there eventually. Like the subject said, I have never really pursued any sort of help for my problems. I have internalized them to such a point that I find this to be my only conceivable chance. Here I think I can reach out for the help that I had denied needing for so long. I'm gonna try to make this as short as I can, but beware and sorry for length. I'm going to start with my story and then follow with some thoughts of mine looking back on my life.

To get me, firstly I am a very introverted person. I am now 24 and in the past few years I have been working diligently to force myself further out of the comfort zones that I had previously set and have met a fair amount of success in that, but I am who I am and I am most certainly introverted. My lower grade school experiences were that I didn't care about the work, but I was able to do it quickly and easily, so it wasn't even a point of concern...in any way you could think about it. I do remember taking a reading vocabulary grade placement test in 6th grade and I was scored at a grade 13 level, freshman in college. I never noticed a problem and I did my work quickly to be able to mess around for longer. From kindergarten to 6th grade I was the "class clown", always the one making people giggle when the teacher looks away, outgoing, confident with the ignorance of the very young, no signs of quiet introversion. I was outgoing, yet still never saw eye to eye with any of my peers, very little shared interests, always seemed like being on the outside looking in...or maybe the other way around. To some degree or another I have always felt as the "odd one out", like being in a different country with different language and customs. Due to the fact that I was a slight...to severe (hehe) hellion, I ended up with a large collection of detentions, ISS, OSS, but it was almost always for being smart with a teacher(lol something I could not help myself from doing), nothing cruel or malicious...I was just bored, free thinking, and done with my work :).

The next 2 years, 7th and 8th grade, was spent in a different school (due to my incompatibility with certain staff at the last). I didn't know anyone, and in that situation, very shy and introverted, you don't end up knowing anyone that doesn't come forward and club you on the head. At that age I was really naive about girls, it was 7th grade, I was 13 (lol i know but I was shy and sheltered) and ended up, due to my complete naivety and the prodding of a very simple minded, and now that I think of it malicious so called "friend", I ended up freaking out a girl and she reported me to the councilor for harassment. That wasn't like the wind being taken from my sails, it was like the sails being torn to shreds......all confidence I had as a younger person disappeared like a magician yanking the tablecloth from under a crystal set. It crushed my self esteem and self image. I wasn't meaning any harm...I never wanted her to be uncomfortable, and if I knew then what I know now I would have been able to see that. This is a very large and deep pitfall that I had in my young years that never really left completely. I finally had gotten up the courage to confront her and ask for her forgiveness before the end of 8th grade, and I was granted it thankfully...I have prayed and apologized to the One that matters most......it taught me extreme respect for women in a very acute fashion. After that situation I felt...ashamed, confidence and self esteem at literal zero, like if I just looked again at a girl the very same thing would happen. From this point on I was broken, for about 8 years after this I was basically unable to speak with girls with any modicum of comfort. I began to form what I now know as a social disorder of sorts, social anxiety, negative self image, hiding within myself like a turtle in defensive mode.

Now I am thrust into high school, broken, confused, embarrassed, now with the stigma on me that I believe every girl I see thinks me disgusting, or that there was something wrong with me. In reality though, very few people came to know of it, but to me...I saw it in everyone eyes, any look, the shame and guilt that I had felt when I was 13 years old in 7th grade all came rushing back, that feeling that they were all judging me. Through all of this I had to continue on with my schooling, so just meandered on without really thinking about it. It seemed as it did in all the other grades, absolute mind melting boredom. I truly despised school, every bit, every day, except for the hours of my art classes. I never took a piece of homework home because I knew for sure that I would not do it (I suffered school, I lived outside it, hehe no mixing business and pleasure)...so I just decided to get it all done in the same class period that it was assigned, and whatever was left just didn't get done (which did not often happen). I never studied in the least for any test from kindergarten to when I was a freshman in college, all through high school I was finding refuge in my head, my imagination. I read about 50+ very large medieval fantasy novels while in high school(David Gemmel rocks btw), it was my escape route when assignments got done too quickly. Despite my unneeded paranoia and introversion, I still made a handful of friends while there. At a fairly young age I began smoking marijuana, I'd smoke some before school to help me with the day, stress, paranoia, boredom, frustration. It definitely did not do a great deal of good for my lungs, but with the torrent of feelings roiling around inside me every day, I very much appreciated a release from them, a few moments of mental peace, relaxation of body and most pointedly of mind. That part I could clearly identify at the time. I continued through high school, blending in with the scenery as best I could, too scared of my trauma with girls to ever approach one, and too "quiet, long haired weird guy" to be approached by many. Toward the end of my senior year I began to realize a little more about myself, to come out of myself just a bit, just sometimes. Each time was a little easier, and I could stray just a bit further before turning back. I had a small group of very close friends outside of school, most were 2-3 years older than I was, but it was the only group of people that I found it was not quite so painful to listen to and be around (I don't mean to be cold sounding but it was the truth). With that small group of friends I got lucky, or we were just drawn to one another without realizing, but all of my close friends are very intelligent people. I am pretty sure I spent more time with them because those were the only people that I could ever consistently or repeatedly talk to, but I just didn't fully realize why yet.

I went on to one year of college for an Art degree, art for art's sake, photography to be precise. I was told over and over by professors and students alike that journalism is basically the only way to go with photography...but I was interested in the artistic, the aesthetic, I just wanted to capture God's own artwork, the natural world, as best I could so that I might be able to share a facet of my point of view with others. Spread to others the feelings I get when looking at towering, majestic, cloud capped mountains that have stood in silent vigil since the creation of man...or to come out of the treeline to find a small trickling waterfall amongst the rocks, the spray from the fall causing the ever so slight shimmering of a rainbow, a gentle stream meandering away and downhill, leading to who knows where or what. To be able to give, spread, cause, share, to be a contagion of simple joys, peace, and beauty, hoping just maybe if I took the right picture, the viewer might actually be hear the ambient chitterings of the insects, smell the cleanliness of the air away from a city, the earthy bouquet of the nature around you. Hehe clearly from my somewhat apparent love of photographing nature you might be able to surmise that I did not complete the 4 years, after one I realized that it really wasn't for me. To have an "institute of higher learning" demand that I take unrelated courses to my major AND make me pay for them.....I don't have to be slapped in the face with a dead one to smell something fishy, on top of the fact that the courses did not fit what I was out to learn. I have continued my education in various ways myself, the internet is a great tool for that, hehe and try having a conversation with a close friend of mine, that also is a mental exercise.

Following my one year in college I kinda just bummed around for a while, kinda lost, staying with friends in my college town for a while, then the same back in my home town, and now I am back at my parents because I found out I have a hernia and back/neck problems from a fall I took, so they were more than happy to have me back so that I can try to deal with all these medical bills. In the past 4 years I have done a fair bit of soul searching, trying to work through my past problems, and all the problems that it snowballed into. I have successfully taken quite a few steps in the right direction as far as coming out of my shell. I have forgiven myself and nearly cleansed the remnant stigma perceived from my youth, yet I do still have troubles talking to women. Since for so many years I was too scared to talk to women, I don't have the same portfolio of experiences that many do. I have had some runs with girls, but nothing special because my fears keep me from approaching that which I might desire most.

Sorry for the length, but that is my story...now comes the part where the puzzle pieces start fitting together. It was about a year ago, my mother called me into her room during one of my more troubled moments, and let me know something that I wish with all my heart she had let me know when I was young. She sat down, much more stoic than usual and told me she had something to tell me, and she isnt sure if she should, or if she should have years ago...but that she was going to now. Obviously that is a kinda creepy introduction, especially combined with the demeanor. She told me a few things, one thing was that at the end of my 4th grade year, my teacher called her into school for a talk. Knowing me, my mom figured right away that I was in trouble again...but instead of being told of trouble, my teacher lays on a desk a tall stack of papers, every test and piece of work from me all year, every single one being an A+ (keep in mind it was a private school). The teacher didn't really know what to say, none of them did...I caused so many disturbances due to my antics...but I was acing everything. Then she goes on to tell me that in my 5th grade year the principal actually came to her after school one day and asked if it would be alright to test my brother and I's IQ, just us two. So they did the tests in 5th grade, and she related that he wouldn't even say the number on the phone...so she went in, and he wouldn't even say it out loud lest someone outside his door hear. He took a note card, wrote a number on it, folded it, and slid it across his desk. On the piece of paper was written 173......... When she said that I was floored, absolutely stunned, asking why didn't you tell me in the past, the motivation that would spring from knowing that kind of potential. Over the next week, in bursts, came quick fire realizations...I read for hours about high IQ individuals and how if affects their growing up. Turns out that my feeling apart my whole life, being on the outside, never being able to relate to my peers, also the ease with which I skated through school, why I had the friends that I do, why my grade school suffered the shinanigans I caused with such quiet reserve(relatively quiet hehe), along with my preference of good books to attempting to relate to people my age, and I also came to find that I was smoking marijuana to effectively "level the playing field" or "balance the scales", so to speak, and especially if it was one of those painful conversations that so many people seem to initiate.

Wrapping up all that brings us to a fairly lasting depression (parts being from the people anxiety, the lifelong alienation that was all yet unexplained until she had that talk with me, the realization that the real and actual difference in me is probably both good and bad...and probably most of all, being alone...having been alone all my life, and the realization that I will most likely be alone for some time...finding someone that I can relate to is seeming like a literal search for a needle in a stack of haystacks). Also anxiety around people I don't know, and with all I've experienced I'm thinking I might have AD/HD Predominantly Inattentive type. I read from multiple sources that someone with a high IQ and predominantly inattentive AD/HD can easily be overlooked as not having an impairment because of the compensation made. The gifted person is then looked at as possibly being lazy, having a lack of motivation, or of being bored...well two outa three ain't bad, as "they" say lol. I was decidedly bored, and most certainly lacking motivation to keep completing the effortless garbage that I was presented with....and the reason for those two things wasn't exactly laziness, it was more of just becoming accustomed to the ease of learning and therefore becoming bored with both the work itself and then also with the free time I have after the assignment is quickly completed. I also answered the National Resource Center On AD/HD's 9 question preliminary test for it and answered yes to 6 out of the 9, 6 being the number at which they suggest being tested for predominantly inattentive AD/HD. Thank you to anyone who read all this, I didnt start out meaning for such an essay, so thank you and I appreciate any responses, suggestions, or help that can be offered.

Post Edited (-Misunderstood-) : 5/31/2010 5:07:20 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 5/6/2010 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I did not finish reading your post, but I will. If you seperate with paragraphs it is much easier to read. You sound like a very intellectual person and have a talent with words. You have a great imagination, and could be a writer of some sort, and a photographer. I am sure that your work is excellent.

I must inform you that by the rules we are not suppose to discuss marijuana or medical marijuana, so I will be removing that reference in your post due to forum rules, when I get to it. I have to finish reading first. Not saying that there is anything wrong with a long post, there is not, but it is harder for me to get through. Me eyes are not what they use to be. lol...

I am seeing somebody who is actually really living life, with your photography and your talent for writing. I think that if you continue to persue this you will do well. I know that there are a lot of questions for you. And you do have something in your past that is bothering you, but leave it in the past. You are beyond that now. You have friends, you are talented. You have a lot going for you.

As I said, I still have to finish reading your post. There is probably a lot that I missed. But you do have potential. Use it.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


neverbetter
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 5/6/2010 6:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow, what an amazing life story. Let me first start off by welcoming you to this forum! As a fellow introvert, fantasy book reader, artistic soul, and bearer of societal anxiety/alienation, I think I definitely get where you're coming from with a lot of your troubles (my IQ is definitely lower than yours, though, but hey, that's a compliment to you, haha). I think God put you on this earth for a reason, though, and with all of your talents and passions, I hope that one day He will open your eyes to how wonderful you are.

Feeling alone is part of depression, perhaps you feel that you can't relate to anyone because you believe that no one would understand the complexity of your feelings about the world and your place in the world. But you can't blame yourself for this feeling, and it is very hard to overcome the anxiety yourself. Have you ever thought of seeking a therapist? Posting on here is a big step, don't get me wrong, but if you think you might need some outside objective help, therapy is always an option.

Truly, your story was amazing. I read every word with interest. You incredibly unique, your thoughts are unique, and when you overcome your troublesome thoughts, you're going to see the awesome person that you truly are. It looks like you are willing to help yourself, which is the first step in overcoming your feelings of depression.

Sending my prayers to you! Keep posting- anything that comes to mind. It'll help to vent. You'll get through this, I promise. :)

-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/7/2010 3:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both very much for responding so quickly, I logged on today to check but didn't exactly expect any yet. I am sorry also, Karen, about the forum rules, I am sorrowfully guilty of not reading the entirety of them and do apologize for breaking them, hehe and also the extremely long post sans paragraph form (that was the first time I had said many of those things and was a bit out of sorts). I do look forward to your finishing of the post and any more offered ideas. I appreciate the kind words also, how much of them will sink in as being true though is yet to be seen. I do know that I possess potential, but sometimes...or rather most of the time that potential seems so overwhelmed by all the factors that have lead me to this depression, anxiety, and social malfunction. I have a hard time admitting that I am depressed...its hard to explain, like I am admitting 100% that I do have a real problem, that I am somehow less because of it. The conclusion that I am suffering, though, comes as a dual edged blade. If I am depressed and have AD/HD, even with the fact that they are difficult conditions and not desirable, at least I'm not just a quack that no one gets. If I am not clinically depressed then I obviously know that I do not have a mental problem, and then that I am just a quack. The variable of the IQ also throws a monkey wrench into the equation. My depression could be caused by my innate distance from most people, thereby causing the loneliness, which would then lead to greater depression. Having this innate distance, this difference, also could cause what would appear as a possible learning disorder related social malfunction. Obviously if I'm not relating to people in any near normal fashion, that would be able to make someone feel alienated, alone, depressed, and anxious. I'm just juggling the possible combinations of factors, and I just feel lost...is the depression caused by my past, or by my social distance from most due to IQ... or is it just that the social dysfunction is caused by my intelligence, which is then causing the depression and social anxiety...am I even suffering from any/all of these perceived mental afflictions or am I just mentally afflicting myself?

I have recently written down a thought that I had while contemplating my current position and feelings, and I think that this could help a little to explain my state of mind. "I am as a man amongst a foreign people, the most elementary utterance misunderstood...an entirely passive act distorted into offense, like the weight and sadness of being the last and only person alive...while being constantly surrounded." That is how I feel; the question is what is causing it, or rather what combination of factors are causing it.

Thank you for the welcome neverbetter, hehe and for the fact that you read that whole beast of a post :) it is rare and definitely nice to find someone with so many things in common, as well as a common understanding of some of my difficulties. Hehe and I wouldn't shortchange yourself so quickly either on your intelligence, I think I could be a prime candidate for the proving of that. I also appreciate your prayers, may He one day see fit to do so. I believe you are also correct in thinking that my depression could be fueled because of how I might be viewing others as most likely being unable to understand me, one of the many possible factors in my unhappiness.

I hope to hear from as many people as will put up with reading my somewhat lengthy thoughts. I would love to hear from all of you, im sure you all have unique experiences and insights that just might shed some light into my darkness.


P.S. - I just went back and put in the paragraph spacing in the original message to make it easier to read, thanks to all again

Post Edited (Christian21) : 5/7/2010 4:31:14 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 5/7/2010 5:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Christian,

I will make sure to go back and read, this morning I am going mushroom hunting in the woods. We get morel mushrooms and they are so good. Fun to hunt too.

I hope that you have a wonderful day. Will reply more later. And I WILL finish reading, just a little slow this morning. Got to get those mushrooms before the tourists come and get them. They are in an old abandoned orchard. A lot of history there.

Hope that you are having a good day today.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/7/2010 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hehe I appreciate it, and good luck with those mushrooms! A buddy and I also go looking, and the season is upon us :) Our goldmines are dead elms, he noticed and had read that dead elms are a breeding ground for edible mushrooms. I have yet to actually look it up, but I just figure that the specific chemicals that are in the elms root system has the perfect nutrient mix for fungal growth, then when the elm dies its roots decay/rot, releasing into the surrounding soil the mushroom loving goodness :) I look forward to your further help as I definitely need some, some insight, suggestions, people that I can talk with (which is so very rare for me).....and I am actually quite surprised to find that I feel a bit better after just getting that all out, and reading the first few replies.....that it wasn't met with ridicule or misunderstanding.



There was another portion of my current condition that I neglected to elaborate on in the first message due to its already extreme length(i think im just a long poster), but I did touch on it. I fell about 17 feet from a ladder, in the dark, straight down, so I couldn't see the ground coming. Hehe I remember having enough free fall time for me to fully have the thought of, "wow, I am falling way too far", before I hit the ground. When I did finally hit (seemed like forever) I ended up with a clean break of my right tibia and fibia (shin bones), a compression fracture of my T12 vertebrae. The icing on the cake was that my doctor (who was a quack and caused me to have to have my leg rebroken after three and a half months of healing due to an 11 degree bend in the middle of my shin and also my foot was slightly pointed outward from a 3 degree rotational misalignment...7 and a half months on crutches...that bag of fun is a story in and of itself for another time possibly) hehe anyways my doctor did not notice in the full body x-rays, somehow, that my pelvis had been knocked crooked slightly, higher on the right than the left, from the intense impact(I'm 6ft and 200lbs). He also missed that I had whiplash neck damage. This fall took place about 8 years ago and I first went to a chiropractor about 1 year ago. He took a full back and neck x-ray after hearing my reports of lower and middle back pain and neck pain. When he got the pictures back he was astounded, and this is no young, fresh out of school chiropractor. He said he had never seen a lower back like mine in a 24 year old, going on to tell me about the neck damage, mainly to the C1, C2 (base of neck), but also the very top vertebrae(which is the worst to damage). I ended up going to another chiropractor as well, who did his own x-rays and found that my skull was misaligned with my spinal column which was pinching a nerve path in the side of my neck. I was feeling twinges of pain in my forehead and my cheeks.

So the final rundown ended up with my pelvis being tilted, and then that had been slowly tilting my lower and middle back because the pelvis is directly connected to the bottom vertebrae. The spine is like a stiff chain, you pull or torque on the bottom and it will have a "chain effect" and, over time, throw off the rest of your back. He told me that I have 50% degeneration of the lowest disc in my back and 25% degeneration in the lowest disc in my neck. I have about a pretty decent curve in my lower and middle back, at its worst around a 1 inch horizontal deviation that occurred from 7 years of the "chain" being tilted and pulled from my pelvis. I have no curve to my neck anymore from the fall, normally a neck has a slightly forward bending curve to support the often forward bending motions of the head, to reduce tension on the neck. So for me when my head is at a 45 degree bend forward, it is as straining as a normal person with their head 90 degrees bent forward, basically all the way. The effects of these things are fairly constant lower/middle back pain (have actually had my back "go out" and I dropped to the ground), and basically a non-stop headache of varying levels of pain and location based on how I have my neck positioned.

As I had said before, I am a 6ft 200lb guy, I am used to being physically able. I was the guy who if a friend needed to move they would call me up first, I was no body builder by any means, but I was used to being able. It has been quite a realization to find that I have lost a fair bit of that. One tiny good note on realizations at the time, I do believe my injuries may have been the catalyst that started my introspective journey. I can't just act like a young idiot anymore, lift things on my own just to make it easier or faster. I must be extremely careful with my back for the rest of my life, the damage done is irreversible, but I can slow its further degeneration with being careful. If my neck is in one position for too long (the most painful being looking left or right more than 10-20 degrees) I begin to get an aching, somewhat sharp, sometimes shooting and very sharp pain in varied spots in my neck depending on the position. Depending on the angle and the length of time, it can radiate up through the back of my head, finding a home either behind my ears, filling the whole back of my head, or climbing up around my temples...accompanied by the pain also in the neck itself. This is possibly the worst of all the pains, the neck, because in many situations you don't have the option, or at least it is very unfitting to be looking directly forward. That leaves me just dealing with n the neck/head pain all the time at some level. With my back and my neck how they are now, and that I had been in back pain for years......I don't exactly remember what it is like to not be in some amount of constant pain. It is a mentally taxing helplessness, the neck pain. It is inescapable, it will never heal, and until you have a neck problem you don't quite realize how debilitating it is, physically and mentally, to be unable to look about freely. At it's worst, which has thankfully been few and far between, I would verge on a panic attack at times because it felt as if I was drowning. The helpless feeling was exactly like drowning, there is no effective logical way to fix it, its there and you have to suffer it...it is like suffocating.

Well that is that whole story. I think my problems span a number of these forums from depression, anxiety, chronic pain, hehe and chronic weirdness. Thank you to anyone who gave me their time and read my problems, and I welcome any words in response...this is the first place that I have ever let all this off my chest...and I am very thankful for this site and its members, so like I said any response is welcomed :)



Christian

Post Edited (-Misunderstood-) : 5/8/2010 3:58:17 AM (GMT-6)


ziplocked87
New Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/8/2010 5:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey,
It was good talking with you. In your list of problems, I cracked up while reading "chronic weirdness". I'm new to this site too. I might post something soon, if you would check it out. It'll probably be in the Fibromyalgia section.

-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/8/2010 5:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Heya Zip, yeah I definitely enjoyed talking tonight/this morning. Hehe and I believe I cracked myself up a little bit when I first typed it, but it was one of those automatic thoughts so I knew it was right to write lol. I will read your posts for sure if you decide to do so, it has been helping me and I would suggest it. I have a laundry list of things I am working at right now, but I end up being able to help others quite a bit with their concerns and would be more than happy to listen/read and respond as best I can. I'm sure we will talk again, thanks for being good company.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 5/8/2010 7:25 AM (GMT -7)   
You are so right about the dead elms. We find the white ones around them. Also apple trees, and black ash trees. The blacks are found around apple trees and poplars.

You are doing very well on the forum. Keep up the good work.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/9/2010 8:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello again to everyone, just inquiring again if there might be anyone out there that could shed some light on my situation. Possibly someone who has experienced similar social maladies and ways that they found to look at/deal with them. I need help to separate my "normal" social disconnection, that I have read quite a bit about, from any possible actual disorders. The multiple sources that I researched are from studies dealing with the relations between people having large gaps in IQ and how that converts to social interactions. I would greatly appreciate anyone that could help. Just being here and talking about it has helped in as much as it let off some of the pressure I had building up inside, but I am still trying to figure all of it out. Thanks again

grumpydogze76
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 5/11/2010 3:25 AM (GMT -7)   
sry bout getting off of chat i guess it signed me off when i went back into the forums for some reason and the advice i have for you shouldnt be given here but im sure we will talk again and again and again
Fibromyalgia DX June of 07 December of 08 i got to have a vacation in the hospital with blood clots in my legs and abdomin meds I have tried them all the only thing that even remotely helps me is oxycodone 15 mg and thats all i take i hate meds trying to get disability since June of 05


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 5/11/2010 3:47 AM (GMT -7)   
I am not really sure what you are trying to figure out. But I have seen many people with very high IQ's that don't seem to fit in socially. Only with other people with the same or similar IQ's. Is that what you are asking? Often they seem to be peculiar. In a special way. But I have broken the ice and talked to a few of them. They are very intelligent, just don't seem to coincide with a regular, or medial IQ. I have seen people with very low I Q's that go through the same thing. I am probably way off base with what you are asking. Please clarify.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/11/2010 3:56 AM (GMT -7)   
that was definitely part of what I was asking, but the second part was about the possibilites of AD/HD from my hyperactive youth and becoming progressively more introverted as I went though school....also about how much of this can be caused by my constant pain....if that coudl totally change my mindset.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 5/11/2010 5:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Pain is totally distracting. It can cause a lot of effects. Especially if it is bad. I am not sure about the ADHD. I would imagine that it would make a person hard to stay focused enough to carry on a conversation with anybody. But I do know about the pain as I have fibromyalgia. I do my best to keep my mind occupied so that I don't think about it as much. That is a hard thing to do, as it gets overwhelming at times. But I have mine pretty much under control so that I am at a level three or four every day instead of a seven or eight. I hope that this helps some.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/16/2010 2:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah I guess I'm just not sure, I am sure that is part of it...but who knows how much. I'm sure part of it's the IQ and part is the pain, combined into a very frustrating cocktail of unpleasantness. I am usually at between a 4 and 8 as far as pain, and I have broken my back so I know what 10 is like. I don't know, I have not checked the forums for a few days kinda because I have been going through another of the many rough spots...just been more down than usual. I think i am just really screwed up and I'm not sure if there is even an "answer" exactly to what I am looking for...i dont know. Even though I know its not good, sometimes it is just easier seeming to recede as far into myself as I can, avoid the social interactions that I know will be so disjointed and uncomfortable.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 5/16/2010 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been through that a lot. Not good with social interactions with people. Love animals though. My best friends is my husband and my dogs. lol... It is okay to be that way, but don't seclude youself too much. In time, that will change and people will seem different to you. You are just probably going through a rough patch. Hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen

PS Keep posting, even if you feel down. We are here to support you.
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/22/2010 10:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah it definitely was a rough patch, it is just unfortunate that there are so many. I love animals as well, funny to say that there can be found more understanding with an animal as compared to a person sometimes. I do definitely seclude myself to some degree, but I am almost always chipping away at my walls from the inside, making it out when I can manage. I don't think though that people will really seem different as much as my perceptions of how to deal with those differences will hopefully become more constructive. You do have a point though Karen


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