First of all, welcome to the forum. I am glad that you have found us. And you have come to a good place. Where you will not be judged and will be offered sound advice. We all want to support eachother the best that we can.
I am sorry for what happened in the past. That must have been devastating. I am sure that it was a great deal of trauma. But now is the time to put that behind you and move on.
I know that you said that you had a close call last night, but can you look at it as something good instead of something bad. You shared intamacy and that is a special thing between two people who love eachother. It wasn't bad. Embrace it and take things day by day now. Do you plan on getting married soon? Have you set a date?
Don't be down on yourself for what happened. It is hard not to when two people love eachother. Just cherrish the moment and if you don't want to have sex before you get married, maybe don't get into that situation with eachother. In this day and age, it is rare to find people who want to wait. I think it is cool. So I hope that you are able to fullfill that wish and that you two are happy together.
Keep posting. I am glad that you have joined us.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies