First of all, welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. You have come to a good place where you can get advice and support.
Secondly, how did YOU feel about getting the abortion? Was it your choice too to abort the child? I am just asking, because you said it was his decision. You may be feeling some sadness from this. That is not uncommon.
I am afraid to say that you will have to deal with the baggage until these kids both turn 18. And if the ex keeps working for him, even longer. But this is not impossible to do if the two of you really love eachother. But the relationship between him and his ex will be there for the duration. If you can't live with that, then I would get out of the relationship and look elsewhere.
I hate being so brutally honest, but I don't want to give you any false hope. These types of relationships can work, but you have to be confident of yourself and not jealous. The jealousy can bring a lot of unnecessary drama into the picture.
I hope that things work out for you. Take this one day at a time. My husband is 16 years older than I am, so 12 years isn't bad. But there can be a gap there that is hard to overcome. But not impossible.
Beat wishes to you.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies