Relationship Problems

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xxshlxx
New Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/17/2010 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 5/17/2010 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi xxshlxx,

First of all, welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. You have come to a good place where you can get advice and support.

Secondly, how did YOU feel about getting the abortion? Was it your choice too to abort the child? I am just asking, because you said it was his decision. You may be feeling some sadness from this. That is not uncommon.

I am afraid to say that you will have to deal with the baggage until these kids both turn 18. And if the ex keeps working for him, even longer. But this is not impossible to do if the two of you really love eachother. But the relationship between him and his ex will be there for the duration. If you can't live with that, then I would get out of the relationship and look elsewhere.

I hate being so brutally honest, but I don't want to give you any false hope. These types of relationships can work, but you have to be confident of yourself and not jealous. The jealousy can bring a lot of unnecessary drama into the picture.

I hope that things work out for you. Take this one day at a time. My husband is 16 years older than I am, so 12 years isn't bad. But there can be a gap there that is hard to overcome. But not impossible.

Beat wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 5/17/2010 10:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi xxshlxx

I am afraid I have a different opinion to Karen. I would get out now while you still can. He sounds like all he wants is a housekeeper and a substitute mother for his kids. I would be uncomfortable with the ex wife working with him still. You are still a young woman and you deserve better than him.

Get out now, you will find someone better who will love you, respect you, and want to spend quality time with you and the most important thing, have children with you. You don't owe him anything. I would go so far as to say I bet your depression would also be eased if you weren't in such a stressful situation.

I am not going to apologise for being brutally blunt because I think that is what you needed to hear. So go girl, don't hang around.
I hope it works out whichever way you decide.
Harrington49


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 5/18/2010 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Harrington,

Your response was good. She needs to hear that. I was just letting her know what she would have to deal with if she stayed. It is a lifelong thing raising somebody elses children and dealing with the exwife.

Thanks for your side of it. It is good to see different sides of advice.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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