New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

wildkat7411
New Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/18/2010 9:00 AM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry if this is posted in the wrong place, but this subject makes is what i believe is the cause of my moodiness.. My girlfriend, whom i love very much, has alot of guy friends. It did not bother me at first but when one hit on her and then she tried to defend him from me the fear of her cheating and jealousy started to creep into my mind. It feels like i can not trust her. She says she would never cheat but even when she is regularly talking she appears to be flirting with other guys. It makes me feel inadequate; like i do not satisfy her enough to keep her interested in me. I have talked to her about but she just makes a sad face at me and makes it fel like I am over reacting when i think i have every right to be suspicious. then i feel bad for accusing her of something i have absolutely no proof for and the cycle starts all over. Jealousy, anger, depression repeat. It feels like i am simply an actor portraying someones written joke. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciatd. I just want the cycle to end so i can be happy.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 5/18/2010 12:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Wildkat7411,

Yes, Jealousy, the green eyed monster. It will drive you crazy. You need to get it out of your mind. It is your own insecurity that makes you that way. So work on your self esteem and see how that goes. There should be books out there to help you, or make an appointment to see a counselor. But I think something on self esteem should help you.

By the way, welcome to the forum. I hope that you continue to post. Know that we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 5/19/2010 12:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Wildcat 7411

Has your girlfriend ever done anything to make you distrust her? If the answer is no, then you just have to accept that she is a popular girl with both males and females, but you are the one she is with because she loves you the way you love her. Be very careful because that great big green eyed monster can certainly ruin the relationship for you if you let it creep in.

I think if she was cheating on you, you would know it. Flirting is not cheating, it is probably just her personality and to you it seems like she is flirting. The guy who tried to hit on her isn't a threat to you if you don't let him become one, remember she is with you, not him and I'm sure if she wanted to be with him or someone else she would be.

Just try and not let it bother you too much, don't show that it does. If you can't trust her then you should break it off, simple as that.

I hope I have helped you a little, just take things easy and keep that green eyed monster under wraps.
Harrington49


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 5/19/2010 2:33 AM (GMT -7)   
hi, jamie here. welcome 2 the forum. agree with what the guys have said. communication is key. keep well and take care. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


wildkat7411
New Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/20/2010 8:38 AM (GMT -7)   
harrington49 said...
Just try and not let it bother you too much, don't show that it does. If you can't trust her then you should break it off, simple as that.

 

I have akready shown hurt. Is this bad? Because I tried to talk to her about it but she seemed to kind of avoid the question........

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 5/20/2010 9:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Wildkat 7411

Maybe you need a break from this girl for a while as I think she is bringing you down to a level you haven't felt before. It's almost like she likes having you there. Take a step back and see what she does, still be friends of course but not so available to her. Enjoy your friends a bit more. If she loves you and wants to be with you as your girlfriend then she'll be wondering what's going on and then she'll want to talk about and won't avoid the question.

That's what I'd do, it just seems to be a little one sided at the moment.

I hope it works out for you, let us know.
Harrington49


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/22/2010 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey wildkat, I'm just swinging through for my 2 cents. I do feel for you, the uncertainty is the worst. I would personally see a red flag where she avoided the question when you posed it. In *MOST* cases if you accuse someone of something that they know they did not do they will react quickly and surly in stating its untruth. I've found though, in *MOST* cases, that when someone has no dispute for an accusation, and even seems to be avoiding or scared to talk about it...its a sign that they are hiding something. Now please don't take that thought and board the train to crazy town with it as your ticket, it is not the situation for sure. I think the suggestions made to possibly create some distance is a good idea as well, if you tactfully back off and she does not pursue at all then you know that she is not real. It is terrible, but people need testing these days to try to identify true motives and views. Good luck, trust me my friend, a good one is harder to find than a needle in a stack of haystacks. (hehe part of my depression)


C
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 5:58 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,805 posts in 301,336 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151439 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, owillie.
229 Guest(s), 6 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Rebel_runner, Loutucky, mrs. george, U B Tough, dbwilco, Steve n Dallas


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer