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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 237
Posted 5/24/2010 11:36 AM (GMT -7)
It's been awhile since I've been on here, and things are only getting worse. Despite being hospitalized in February/March, I recently graduated from college and have hit the lowest low I've ever experienced. I live with my parents and don't have a job. I feel like everyone is afraid to confront me or force me to do anything because I am so depressed. I'm going back to school in the fall, but will be living at home. I guess my biggest problem is not being able to make myself
anything. I'm not motivated, and no one is making me be motivated. Not a good combo. I just sit and waste away in front of the TV or the computer; I can't even calm down long enough to read a book or do something productive. I tried different drugs, but my psychiatrist recently closed his practice and I have had trouble finding a new one. Needless to say, I've been off drugs (except for emergency Clonapin). Has anyone else felt like this?
Clonazepam .5mg (as needed), Methylphendiate 80mg (ADHD)
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
Posted 5/24/2010 2:29 PM (GMT -7)
Welcome back. I think once you see a new psychiatrist and get on some medications, you will feel so much better. It is just hard to change doctors. Let alone find a new one. But keep searching, don't give up. I am sorry that you lost the one that you had. We get comfortable with them and trust them, and then something happens and we have to find a new one. Just hoping that they are as good and understanding as the last one.
We can't expect others to motivate us, though it does help a lot. We have to get ourselves in the proper mood to do things. I have been having the same problem. It is really hot and I can't get myself to do anything. I have laid around for a few days now. Just watching tv and sitting at the computer.
Take things one day at a time. Try to live in the moment. Find a way to reward yourself and try to do a small task. Nothing overwhelming. See if you can do that. I know it is hard, but once you have done a small task, another one is easy to follow. It is just getting started. It took me two days to get my dishes done. That was the pits, but once I started, I got them finished, then I started in the bathroom. Though my dishwater ran over because I was on the phone with somebody and forgot. I caught it before it went over too much though. So I was lucky there.
I really hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Most of all don't punish yourself mentally for not being able to do things. Once you relax with this, it will be so much easier to get something done.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
Posted 5/24/2010 11:04 PM (GMT -7)
I think Karen is right, once you find a new doctor and get some meds you'll feel 100% better. You know you have to have a reason to get out of bed each day, you have to find the motivation to do that and it is especially hard when you are depressed. It can be something simple like the sun is shining - I might go for a walk or I might water the garden or I might go into town today and look at the shops, just anything, but you are the only one who can motivate you.
It's good that you are going back to college, there is something to aim for there. How about
trying really hard to get a job while you are on break from college, maybe at the local supermarket, or somewhere like an old persons' home, even if it was just washing dishes or sweeping the floor, at least you're busy. That is what you need, you have to get busy.
If you can't get a paying job, what about
asking some elderly people in the neighbourhood if they need something done, messages, lawnmowing or taking their dog for a walk, anything to feel like you are alive. What about
even starting a vege garden for the summer, there's nothing like eating stuff that you have grown yourself, I know because that is what I do, although it is almost our winter here in Australia, I am still growing winter veges, I have cabbage, cauliflower, rhubarb, peas, broccoli all growing at the moment, do you think you might be interested in doing that, you'll never know until you try.
I hope I have helped you a little, let us know how you are going, good luck.
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THE HAPPY TURTLE
Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18760
Posted 5/25/2010 12:04 AM (GMT -7)
hi jamie here, agree karen and harrington. sending healings your way. with compassion and hugs, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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