I'm not sure how to describe this..

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

neverbetter
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 5/26/2010 7:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm having a bit of mental breakdown today.  It started with the orthodontist basically wiring my mouth shut because of a lower jaw problem I have.  I know, this doesn't seem like a big deal, but... I'm trying to OVERCOME my quietness, and this isn't helping me at all! Plus, I've already had ortho work done for two years prior to this, and had to start it back up this year...
 
I guess my problem is that my doctors are telling me to STAY AWAY from stressors that can cause a relapse (which is what I'm having right now, obviously), but EVERYTHING around me is a stressor! Getting up in the morning is a stressor! Simply calling someone or going to the store is a stressor! I get stressed about everything, and the situation today just reminded me of everything.  Not to mention the pain... And the stiffness that I'm already getting in my jaw, making it even harder to talk.
 
I used to love to sing.  I was in a musical last year, and ever since then I've tried to keep my voice strong even though it still got weak because I didn't talk a lot.  And now... Now I can't even open my stupid mouth to sing!  And I'm supposed to be getting ready for college, and music, of course, is going to be a big part of my life there.
 
Sorry for this rant.. I just can't stop crying (which is hard to do when you can barely open your mouth), and I'm trying to stay away from being alone with my thoughts. Actually, I'm scared of being alone with my thoughts.  You guys don't even have to leave a comment if you don't want to, it's enough just to write these things down.
 
Thanks. cry

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 5/26/2010 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Neverbetter, I truly understand where you are coming from. I too feel that the everyday little things such as chores really stress me out. Sometimes when I am in the grocery store I just want to sit down and cry! But I don't, I just get the shopping done and collapse when I get home. I have only a few ideas that may help you. Can you just take one thing at a time and don't think about the rest of the things you have to do. Sometimes you just have to live in the moment. As far as being alone with your thoughts I have the same problem. What I try to do is watch TV or a movie and if I can concentrate I read. Try to do something that can distract your mind. I know if you have had work done on your teeth it is not going to be easy to talk to someone. Sometimes it is necessary to take one hour at a time. I don't know if I have been any help to you but please know that I do sympathize with your situation and know how you feel. Maybe coming here and posting your feelings will help. It usually helps me when I am down and have no one to talk to. At least I can express how I feel and it is always nice when someone replies. If you do decide to post again I will be glad to answer you. It helps to know someone cares about what you are going through. You will be in school soon enough and I am sure things will improve. Take care of yourself.
 
Aurora

-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/27/2010 4:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey there Neverbetter, I certainly don't claim to have all the answers, but I might at least have some small insight into the issue. First of all, having ones jaw wired shut...is NOT a small deal, that is a mentally and physically taxing event, and it's not a problem to admit to the fact that is IS a problem. Also the fact that you are trying to become more vocal and outgoing, I dont think, will be changed much by the wiring. It will obviously make talking difficult for the immediate time being, but by no means will it impair you forever, just as long as the healing takes. I am sure that you are able to bounce back, jumping right back into your singing. I know all too well how constant pain can seem like an overwhelming force, something that you can do nothing against. It truthfully though is something that just is... it may not be able to be changed, but you CAN have an influence on how you deal with it. You WILL be able to sing again, you will be able to get back to what you love after the procedure is finished, it might just take some patience. Also, your doctor telling you to avoid stressors is just his way of vainly saying something that he thinks may help. One can never avoid all stressors, it is impossible, but you CAN effect your personal involvement in the stress. If it is really going to negatively effect your health, then by all means cut as much stress out as you can, as is actually possible, and with all the rest that is left you need to view it in the best possible light. Getting down on yourself, harboring negative feelings of yourself, and thinking that you cannot do it is definitely normal for most, but I am telling you now, it is not true or correct. You do have the strength to make it, you will be able to have the patience to wait out the procedure until you can start singing again, and when you come to that point you will just laugh at how hopeless you felt at the time. There is no problem or weakness in crying, I find myself in similar situations probably more often than I would prefer to admit...but you have to get that unneeded feeling out somehow, and if crying is it then there is absolutely no problem. Just realize that you arent without hope, support, or a promising future. Keep moving forward, putting the past where it belongs, and taking every situation with the best light. I know you can get through this Neverbetter, and it was not a rant, believe in yourself and in God and you will find a way.



Christian

neverbetter
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 5/27/2010 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Aurora60, thanks for the advice. I actually tried being busy and it helped a lot, even though it was kind of tiring. I agree that when college starts up again it'll be better. The relapse is probably partly from being alone so much right now.

Christian, thanks for reminding me about strength. Sometimes I forget to believe in God's divine power, and my own strength. And your right, I'm definitely going to look back on this situation and shake my head at this hopelessness.

Things are looking a little brighter today. I'm just going to try and stay active. :) Thanks again to both of you, and sorry my reply isn't longer.

-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/27/2010 5:36 AM (GMT -7)   
No need for a longer reply my friend, I am nothing but happy to hear how you are feeling now. I'd wager also that this feeling will continue, will grow, and branch into parts of your life that you may not have even known needed the attention. Hehe, He works in extremely mysterious ways sometimes, you never know what part of your life will be touched, your job is just to be there and realize when it happens. He will give you the strength if you but ask, it is an honestly free gift...sitting just within reach, all you have to "do" is to not deny it. I'm glad your feeling better and will be even more so with the knowledge that it will continue and snowball into something even better.


P.S. You may very well look back and realize the lack of necessity in feeling as you were, but if you can realize THAT fact NOW...then technically you do not have to wait and look back, you can just stop now and realize the truth... :-)


Christian

Post Edited (-Misunderstood-) : 5/27/2010 6:39:56 AM (GMT-6)


neverbetter
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 5/27/2010 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, I guess that would work, lol.  It's just hard to get past the hopelessness when my jaw feels like it's on fire. :-)
 
Sometimes I wish there was just a direct line to God.  Then I could just call him up and ask him the purpose of all this.  Everybody wants that in some form or another.  But mystery seems to be part of his divine power.  I guess one day we'll all have the answers.  For now, we just have to face the road ahead and try to get through- day by day. 
 
At least, that's what I'm telling myself.  Sometimes it's hard to believe your own words, though.  Oh, and I'm hoping that this symbolic snowball will turn into a snowman one day- then it'll be something extra good. :-)
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 7:38 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,627 posts in 301,228 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151346 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, heelm007.
301 Guest(s), 12 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Psilociraptor, Butterflake, JNF, Loutucky, LG13, pmm73, time2reclaim, ChickenArise, Traveler, wavey, Momtogigiandquinn, Snarf


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer