Boy, what to do

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Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/8/2010 8:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Everyone, My Name is Adam. I am not sure what to do, The girl I fell in love with over 2 years ago left me last September 2009. I cant get her out of my mind. It does not matter where I go I get reminded of her. Im to the point I cry ever time I turn around. Since She left me everything has gone down hill. I lost my job, my own place, about to loose my little girl(baby with different ex), my truck gone to crap. I have gotten no more then 3-4 hrs a sleep since she left me. sad I feel like my heart was torn from my chest. She was suppose to be the one I married, gotten old with and died with. I have bad thoughts sometimes, on and off for about 3 months now. What should I do? I have no one to talk to and no way to go and see anyone.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18743
   Posted 6/8/2010 10:56 PM (GMT -7)   
hi adam, jamie here, male 37.
 
you are hurting. sorry about how things are. hard to deal with stuff when everything goes pear shaped, i know. my advice is to make an appt with your doc. hopefully there is one around, and or you have your own. i feel that you need some much needed counselling. you will gain confidence and tools to help you cope and move on. moving on is difficult, yeah i know!! it is all about the here and now-for you and your child. if you can't accesses a doctor then may i suggest you contact your mental health service provider; these people can help you with accessing a doc and counselling, referal, etc. if these dark thoughts persist then please go to your nearest hospital, and or call psych triage. in the meantime you can call a telephone counselling service for assistance. they can give guidance, support and referal to specialist assistance.
 
you have been brave in posting adam, pls keep doing so. we will endeavour to help as best we can. depression sucks, but there are some wonderful and effective treatments out there. pls keep safe, and pls seek immediate support if you feel unsafe. know that we care, in time you will heal. keep seeking support. sending healings your way, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/9/2010 3:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Adam

Welcome to the HW depression forum, you are amongst friends here and we would all like to help you as much as we can. We all care about you.

I agree with Jaimee, you need to seek medical help immediately, you should also ask about counselling as you need to be able to get it all out and off your chest to somebody who is trained to deal with problems such as your's.

It always seems that once one thing goes wrong the whole world turns upside down doesn't it? Can you seek legal aid in regard to custody of your little girl? You need to take one step at a time while trying to fix things. Once you have received some counselling and some medication, the clouds will lift a little so you can put things into perspective.

Please see you doctor as soon as possible, get those terrible thoughts out of your head and remember we are all here to help you as much as we can. Keep posting Adam.
Harrington49


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/9/2010 7:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys for responding, I got to make a appointment with my doctor for this afternoon. I am unable to get custody of my little girl because I currently do not have a place of my own, and having big problems finding a job since we are going though this recession and every job that opens get's taken fast. I am trying to go finish getting my GED so I can join the army, but I gotta find a way to fix my truck first.

BTW nice site, looks awesome.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 6/9/2010 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Achmed,

Welcome to the depression forum. I agree with the others here, get help as soon as possible. Please don't let the bad thoughts take over. Call 911 if you have to. You are a worthy person and full of kindness and compassion. Please seek help for yourself and get that ged. That is so important in finding a job.

Know that we are here for you. Keep posting my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/9/2010 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Adam

I am so pleased that you have made the appointment with the doctor, that is a giant step in the right direction. If you can't get custody of your little girl, at least you can see her, right? Just explain to her the circumstances that you find yourself in at the moment and make sure you tell her how much you love her and always will, and most of all give her the biggest kiss and cuddle, she will love you for it.

Trying to finish your education is also a fantastic step in the right direction as well as wanting to join the army. I think defence force training is such a good thing for young men especially, as personally I think it makes men out of them and knocks off the square corners. I tried to encourage my son about 10 years ago but he wouldn't be in it but that was his loss I think.

Hang in there Adam, I am sure things will pick up for you soon. Keep posting and let us know how you are going.
Harrington49


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/9/2010 5:12 PM (GMT -7)   
I would love to explain to her my circumstances but I'm not sure she would understand right now. Her mother is always saying bad stuff about me to her. She has been wanting me to sign my rights away since day 1. I do get to see my little girl but its when ever the mother feels she has time, which is like once in a blue moon.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18743
   Posted 6/9/2010 6:42 PM (GMT -7)   
hang in there adam, you are on the right path. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/9/2010 6:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I wish I was, but unless I get a job, or get my ged and into the army, my butt will be in jail soon

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/9/2010 11:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Adam

How did your doctor's appointment go? I am very interested to know, but only if you want to tell me that is.

Don't worry about what the mother is saying about you to your little girl, you just tell her you love her and always will, as long as she knows that even if she's only tiny, she'll know it all of her life. Have you spoken to anyone about getting set visitation rights? I don't know your system over there as I am not in the US (and I presume you are) but can you get legal aid or similar, you have rights too you know as her father and if I were you I wouldn't be signing away your right to see her because even I can tell you love her.

How long will it take you to get you GED? What about Human Services (I know you have that over there), perhaps they could help you in some way to find accommodation, a job maybe, or get your truck fixed ..........I don't know I am just trying so hard for you because you sound like a real decent young man. Do you have any family who might be able to lend you the money to get your truck fixed?

You know once you get past all of this and get into the army, your whole world will be different. Who knows you might even meet the RIGHT GIRL for you because although you loved the other one and she seems to be the reason for your depression, I don't think she was THE girl, she's still out there somewhere waiting for you to find her.

I said those exact same words to my son in early January of this year, he and his partner/girlfriend had set off on a trip around Australia in 2008, really roughing it in a Kombi van picking up work wherever they landed. They started out in Sydney and went south to Melbourne then the weather got too cold and they made their way up to Queensland and worked right around to Perth in Western Australia and then they had a mighty bustup. He had found a really good job working for a gold mine, driving a truck and he was earning fantastic money but he threw it all in and came home just after Christmas with a very broken heart (similar to you). He was miserable, moody, cranky and depressed every time we saw him (which wasn't very often because of the distance between us). I was getting pretty sick of it I might add, then he went to a BBQ with some friends from his work and met a girl there who he just started talking to and they have been together now for about 3 months, it is only early days still but he is a different person now.

So what I am trying to say to you is, don't give up hope and remember when one door closes another opens. I hope you are getting some counselling because sometimes counsellors know people who know people who might be able to help you get back on your feet. Keep posting and let us know how you are going, and please try and get more sleep than you are (I sound like your mother now LOL) because things are always worse when you are tired.

Good luck Adam and let us know how you're going.
Harrington49


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/10/2010 6:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Doctor visit went ok, he let me get my mind clear of everything, boy I was holding alot I didn't even know. I am unable to go fight for my rights right now because they will not give them unless my life is stabled enough to take care of a child. It will not take me long to get my GED because all I need is to finish my math, but with my truck down, its impossible. Only family I can ask to help get my truck fixed is my sister and I would rather not because she has helped me so much already.

Your son sounds very lucky to find someone else after loosing the one he loves.

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/10/2010 10:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Adam

So glad the doctor's visit went well, it sounds like you might have clicked with the doctor if you feel like you have vented a lot out. That is really good. Do you have to see him again? I bet you feel heaps better, right?

Okay this is what I would do if I were you, I would tell your sister of your plans about doing the GED and the army and say but the only thing is my truck isn't working at the moment and I need it to be working to get the other things in place. I am pretty sure she would say that she will lend you the money on the profiso that it is only a loan and you will pay her back when you are able. What do you think? She sounds like a great sister if she has helped you so much already.

I am not sure what to do about your little girl now, but I think when you get the GED and the army thing going, things will naturally fall into place, they have a way of doing that you know. How old is she? Do you know when you will be seeing her again?

That is really good if you only have the maths to do for the GED

Keep posting Adam and let me know how you are doing.
Harrington49


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/11/2010 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
He set me up to see him next month again, I feel a little better.

My little girl is 3 years old, i get to see her when ever her mother feels like she is the time again.

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/11/2010 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Adam

Did the doctor offer you any medication for depression? It is good that you are seeing him again because it seems like you can talk to him.

I am so sorry about the situation with your daughter, but like I said make sure you tell her that her daddy loves her and always will and teach her to say that she loves daddy, kids are very resilient and can adapt to situations. Just try and see her whenever her mother says you can, it is not a fair situation but your little girl will never forget you no matter what her mother says about you, just remember that.

Have you thought any more about asking your sister to help you get your truck fixed?

Keep studying and let me know how you're doing.
Harrington49


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/12/2010 12:44 PM (GMT -7)   
No he did not, he said it be best if I did not go the medicine route.

I have talked to her but she said with her bills and stuff she cant, she said she will see what she an do

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/12/2010 11:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Adam

I think the doctor is probably right about the medication especially if you are joining the army, so that was probably good thinking on the doctor's part. But in the meantime you have to keep positive, I can tell that you are down in the dumps a bit at the moment and I know you have a bit on your plate but keep that chin up and keep thinking how things will change once you get that GED and then the army. You won't know yourself then and you will look back on this episode of your life and wonder why you let it get you so down.

I think your sister will help you, I hope she will. She sounds like she has been a good sister to you regardless. Not living in the US myself, I am a little puzzled why you need your truck to get the GED? Is it because you have to travel a long way to the class, maybe like the next town? Do you know exactly what is wrong with the truck and do you have any acquaintances that might know something about fixing trucks that might be able to help you out? I know I am really clutching at straws but I am just trying to think of some way to help you.

Remember to stay positive Adam until your next doctor's visit, things will get better for you, they won't always be this bad.
Keep posting because I want to know how you're going.
Harrington49


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/13/2010 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   
It is about 30 mins to the GED center and I have to take the interstate to get there. I think it might be my starter.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 6/13/2010 6:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Too bad you can't do this online. Is there any way? Have you checked that out?

Best wishes to you my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/13/2010 8:45 AM (GMT -7)   
no because they can tell who took the test then

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/13/2010 11:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Adam

Have you been all around your town looking for work? You know there is nothing like "putting yourself out there", going around and basically knocking on doors, showing you are eager to work, that you'll do almost anything. That was just a suggestion, my guess is you have already done that, but you have to keep doing it, make a pest of yourself if you have to.

When will your sister be able to let you know if she can help you, I know you don't want to keep asking her. The other thing I thought of, is maybe there might be someone in town who goes to that place some days and you could grab a lift from or what if you contacted the teacher, there might be someone in the class who lives not far from you? I know I'm clutching at straws. But seriously maybe you should contact the school and tell them of your predicament, they might be able to help.

I am sure something good will happen for you soon Adam. Let me know.
Harrington49


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/14/2010 5:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Well until I am able to get my truck fixed I am limited on how far I can go, I am 15minds outside town and the town itself is a 1 hr long if you walk it from one side to another. My sister said she cant find anyway because of her work time

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 6/14/2010 8:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Is there public transportation? We call it dial a ride. lol... Sometimes we call it dial a tour. hahaha...

Have you got in enough hours to draw unemployment? You might want to check that out. What about calling The Department of Human Services and see what they have to offer. They might have a program that would help you fix your truck and be able to go to work.

Sometimes there are programs out there that can help us. We just have to find them. Type things in on the internet, see what you come up with.

If you need medications or counseling, check with the local department of mental health and see if they offer any programs for people with low income. Are you working at all? Do you live with your parents? Or do you have your own place? How old are you? We can help you more if we know a little more about you. Though you may have already have posted this information and I forgot. Fibrofog suits me well.

I hope that things work out for you.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

Try to find a starter that you need and put it in yourself, it is cheaper that way.  Just a thought.  I think sometimes you can find used ones. 

 

Adam, I really do hope that things work out for you.  Just, never give up. 


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 6/14/2010 9:26:10 PM (GMT-6)


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/14/2010 11:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Adam

How are you going today? I hope you're feeling better.

Karen has given you some good ideas there. I just think there has got to be some way you can get your truck fixed (with the help of someone) and get to your classes and/or find a job. Human Services sounds like the go and the internet is just a wealth of knowledge so hopefully it might be able to steer you in the right direction. Just don't give up hope, remember that little girl loves you and so does your sister.

Keep posting, I hope you find some way of getting help. Let me know won't you.


Harrington49


Achmed
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/15/2010 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   
I am gonna look up those and see what I can find on them. I do not work at the moment because I moved from Virgina I am staying with my sister at the moment. I am 27. I talked to my doctor and he said he will see what he can do as well.

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/15/2010 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Adam

Well you are sounding a little better and more positive. I am glad you have spoken to your doctor as well, that is really good. You have to keep positive because like I said before, it won't always be this bad, you just need one thing to go right for you and the rest will fall into place.

If you are staying with your sister, how far away is your little girl? I don't mean to get personal Adam, but that was the first thing I thought of when I read that you have moved from Virginia. If you don't want to say, that's okay too.

When do you see the doctor again or is he going to let you know if he can help you? Maybe you will find something on the internet about your truck or the Human Services Dept can help you, I certainly hope so.

Remember to let us know because I am thinking about your predicament a lot and just want a good outcome for you.
Harrington49

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