First of all, welcome to the depression forum. I am glad to see you reaching out.
Secondly, I think you need to contact your local mental health agency and talk to somebody. It sounds like you are very depressed and it might get worse. Talk to somebody. Your doctor, a minister, a counselor... Somebody professional.
I am sorry but we aren't allowed to discuss self harm on the forum. But we are still here to support you. I hope that you feel better soon. Try to relax, get on the phone and get ahold of somebody that you can talk to.
Take care my freind.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies