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Barngirl425
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/14/2010 5:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi my name is Amanda Im new to this. Ive been depressed for a about a year now. I am in highschool i have two friends both of which graduated this year. I know Ive already lost them because of this.

I feel very alone, my parents and I dont get along and I have no friends. Things arent going well, I cant talk to my parents because I cant show weakness in front of them. Someone said I should go talk to someone like a psyciatrist but I physically cant get to one, same with a physician.

Im losing hope of things getting better. Ive been having anxiety attacks and nights that I cry myself to sleep. Ive been trying to work to keep my mind off things, training horses spending as much time away from home as possible because my parents argue all the time then turn it on me. its better when Im not home. I was bullied badly in elementary school all the way to highschool now (on academic scholarship at a private school), I was beat up everyday and it seems that this keeps coming back to haunt me.

I havent really slept well in about 2 months because I get terrible nightmares every night which seems to make things worse

I keep telling myself that if I can hold on until college I will be able to get better.

I do not know what else to do

Sorry for rambling not sure if this made much sense,

Amanda

Post Edited (Barngirl425) : 6/14/2010 8:20:27 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 6/14/2010 6:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Amanda,
 
welcome to HealingWell!  I am glad that you have joined us.  The only thing that I need to mention is that if you are using your real name on the forum, you might want to change it for your own protection.  People that aren't members can sometimes get information on you by googling your name.  If it is not your real name that is cool, and it is up to you if want to change it, but it would be safer.
 
I am going to post some sites for you to check out seeing you can't get to a doctor.  These are sites for teens.  You might get some help through these.
 
 
What is it that makes it so bad to be at home?  Or is it just that your parents just don't seem to understand?  Let us know.  Okay?  I want to know that you are safe at home.  I am glad that you are working with horses.  I have always loved them.  Just too much work for me to take care of.  So I have dogs.
 
I hope that you feel better soon.
 
Take care, Keep posting.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 6/14/2010 8:03 PM (GMT -7)   
need to be safe. take care of you ok. karen has given you some excellent info. keep posting, we are here for you, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/14/2010 10:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Amanda

Welcome to HW, we will help you as much as we can. Karen has given you some really good sites there to look at and I hope they will help you.

It sounds like you need to speak to someone, what about a school counsellor? I am sorry that your parents are making you their target with their arguments, that's not fair at all. I don't blame you for staying away as much as you can. But you definitely need to speak to someone who can help you.

I have heard that horses are good therapy for depression and anxiety, I think animals in general are. I myself have a golden labrador/retirever named Holly and she is just great for my depression. Holly and I share many a quiet moment solving the problems of the world (smile)

I hope that you can get to speak to someone soon. I am puzzled why you think you have lost your friends already because they have graduated before you. Is it that they are going on to college and you won't seem them? But surely they are home for the summer and you can hang out still together?

You are amongst friends here Amanda and we want you to keep posting and let us know how you are going.
Harrington49


Barngirl425
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/15/2010 6:10 AM (GMT -7)   
My school does not have a guidance consoler its a private school they are not required to.

Friends once they graduate and if you are still left there change. At first you talk to them everyday over the summer then maybe every other day then once a week and sadly eventually you dont talk to them at all. Its happened before. My school is cliquey you make your friends freshmen year and you stay with them until senior year, mine have graduated and I am very happy for them. but it leaves me alone

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 6/15/2010 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Don't worry, you will make some new friends this summer. And they will be with you forever, well, not forever, people change, get married, do their own thing. But I have had good friends that I don't see for years, and we are still good friends.

Good friends take a long time to make. They are few and far between, if you have one, you are lucky. But you seem like such a nice person, I think you will make more friends and that you will have some lasting relationships. You never know what is around the next corner. So be patient, choose wisely. They will be there.

Take care hon.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 6/16/2010 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   
yep, i have a few really good mates. happy with a few really good ones rather than a fistful of maybe's. agree with karen, chose wisely. things will get better. hang in there, jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Barngirl425
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/21/2010 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Just wanted to give an update, my parents are forcing me to sell my horse because I cant get him sound. It doesnt make sense since I work off all of his bills but they have made up their mind. He is the only thing that is keeping me sane right now and I do not know what I am going to do without him. Im just trying to enjoy the time I have with him now and pray that maybe they change their mind. Feel more alone now than ever and I have no idea what I can do once he is gone


Amanda

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 6/22/2010 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   
What does it mean to keep him sound. I use to have horses, but I have forgotten. I thought it had something to do with the feet or body when they were sound. Let me know. Either way, I am so sorry that they want you to get rid of your horse, that is very sad. They are a lot of work, or I would have one now. I have dogs instead.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Barngirl425
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/22/2010 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
What it means to keep them sound is to not be limping. My guy has navicular disease (degnerative bone disease of the navicular bone) in his front legs and arthritus in his back legs, my other guy being 28 is not doing well either. :(

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 6/22/2010 10:15 AM (GMT -7)   
I thought it had something to do with the legs or feet. I guess I haven't forgotten as much as I thought. lol... Well, I forget a lot of more recent things.

28 is up there for a horse. I have a dog that is 14 and that is up there for a dog. Then I have a german shepherd pup that is five months. She is a handful.

I hope that you can keep your horse. It sounds like you really love the horse. Is it a guy or a girl? I had different horses when I was young. First a pinto poney, then a red roan. Then I had a welsh pony that was a stallion. Got the neighbors horse pregnant. lol... Then I had a black horse that was a gelding. He was named Smokey. He had a white foot with three appaloosa spots on it, he was part arabian too. I ended up selling him to a riding stable. I couldn't take care of him anymore. It was too expensive.

I hope that you are feeling better. Things are going to work out for the best. Even if it doesn't seem like it now. But in time you will see there is a reason for everything. I just hope that you can keep your horse.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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