Having a VERY hard time forgetting....

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Taryn50894
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/16/2010 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
My boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago and i basically went through hell and back with the whole ordeal. He kinda teased me a while after we were broken up and we still hung out and everything else like we did when we were dating. Now it's been a few weeks and i haven't heard from him. I know he's not my boyfriend so I shouldn't be expecting him to call and text me all the time, but now I always see pictures of girls that he took on his facebook and he knows that i'm going to see them.

I just dont understand why he would want to hurt me. We were supposed to be friends, and now I don't know why he's acting like this. I've been trying to forget about him and just really get over it, but for the last day or two I cant stop thinking about him. I keep wanthing to see him somewhere or text him.

How can I just push him out of my mind? I cant afford to lose my focus in school, I really need to just forget...

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/16/2010 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Taryn

Harrington here again, I think he is trying to make you jealous and probably trying to hurt you. I wouldn't react at all to the facebook pictures or to him, I would be just friendly when I see him but that's all. You deserve better than him but if he broke up with you then he obviously wants to move on and I think you should do the same, you know Taryn you'll have lots of boyfriends and men in your life as the years go by so just enjoy being young and get on with your studies, don't let him be your focus instead let it be your studies.

I hope you will keep posting and make sure you go back to that counsellor.
Harrington49


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/16/2010 7:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Taryn, I know this must be very hard for you as it is never easy to go through a breakup. Sometimes it just doesn't work being friends. Do you have other friends you can make plans with to help ease you along. I understand what you are going through although I am much older than you. My son was with his girlfriend for 4 years. They became engaged, he bought a beautiful ring, had a wedding date and everything planned. And it all fell apart. I can't tell you how much he cried and cried and I sat with him comforting him. It has been a little more than a year and he is over the breakup. He realizes he could never have been with her, too many emotional problems on her part. I guess what I am trying to tell you is it will take time but you will come around and feel better. The best thing you can do is concentrate on your schooling and keep busy.  Time is a healer of all wounds. I hope that doesn't sound too trite or simplified but it really is what helps. I wish you the best and know things will work out for you. Try to take good care of you.
 
Aurora

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 6/16/2010 9:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Taryn,

I agree with the others, it is time to move on. But think of you, and your future. Your studies is what is important now because that is a part of who you are going to be. And it does sound like he is being mean. If not, he is moving on, but he obviously doesn't care about your feelings.

I would try to learn more about myself, what you like and enjoy to do. Pick up some hobbies maybe, things that you care about. Study hard, because this is going to pay off for you. Like I say, it is your future.

I hope that you start feeling better soon. I wouldn't contact him. That just leaves you open for more hurt and looking like you are chasing him. Be you and be true.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Taryn50894
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 6/16/2010 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you
It is true-the last couple of times we went a while without talking to each other, I would always be the one to step up first and ask to go do something. I really can't anymore. I'm so tempted to text him but I know I can't.

I guess what hurts most is that he was my absolute best friend. I've never been so comfortable around any single person in my whole life. Now we're strangers. He always said we'll always at least be friends but apparently he really doesn't care.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 6/17/2010 5:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I really don't think it is that he doesn't care, I think that he isn't thinking about you. He is getting on with his life and not thinking about how it will effect you because you are now only friends. What I mean is, in his mind, you shouldn't care. It sounds selfish and it is a little, but moving on to him, is probably different than it is to you. You are more concianscious than he is. So maybe he isn't intending to hurt you, though he is. IDK, I could be way off base here, but that is the feeling that I get.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 6/17/2010 6:14 AM (GMT -7)   
I am a big believer of the 3 month to 1 year no contact rule. You mail his stuff back. It is nice to be friends, but give yourself time to get over this. Remember he is further along in this process then you are.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

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