survived the 1st 2 weeks but have 8 more to go

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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/20/2010 2:42 PM (GMT -7)   
My son has been gone about 2 weeks and I am finding it difficult to adjust to my empty house. I was sick for a few days so that was hard because I couldn't get out. Last week was better than the first. I had the good long cry that usually helps get out some of the stress and it did. I did OK last week because my younger son came over for dinner 3 times and kept me company. That made a big difference in how I felt. My friends are not being very responsive and that is hard because I try to make plans but nobody is available. There's too much me, myself and I. One friend told me she has such a busy summer she can't possibly do anything with me. She can't even call me but said I could call her and see if she is around. I know that not every day of her summer is taken with plans, I guess she
just doesn't want to make the effort. I am trying so hard to find new friends but it is difficult. I have a few classes coming up so I will see if there is someone to meet. I am not asking a lot, I just want a few people to go out with ocassionally or talk with on the phone. One night I was so sad and lonely I called the depression hotline. And the person was very nice and talked to me for a while so I know I have that option. But talking to a stranger isn't the same as talking to people you know.
I know I must sound like I am complaining a lot but this is a very difficult adjustment for me and I am not doing well. My younger son is going to Europe in July for 2 weeks and that scares me to death. I am so afraid I will get very sick like I did last summer and not have anyone to depend on for help. I will truly be alone those 2 weeks and I am just dreading it. I am just so lost.
 
Aurora

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40592
   Posted 6/20/2010 2:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

Try to think postively about this. You have got classes to go to and I am sure that you are going to enjoy that very much. Your son will be gone, but it is only for two weeks. Two weeks goes by fast.

What kind of classes are you going to take, it seems that you mentioned this before, but I can't for the life of me remember. Whatever it is, I am sure that you are going to have a grand time.

I am sorry that you are so lonely. I am glad that your son comes around a few times a week, that is very good. I am sure that he is great company. And I am sure that you feel more secure when he is around. Have you got any pets? Have you ever thought about getting a dog? They are such good companions. I have two of them and they keep me from getting lonely. They are king of like having kids around. But they don't talk back to you, well, I am wrong about that, my puppy does sometimes. lol...

I hope that you feel better soon. Know that we are here for you. It is nice to have somebody to write to on the forum and it lets you know that you aren't alone.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 6/20/2010 3:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Aurora,
That is so great that you've made it through the first 2 weeks. I'm sure it must be very hard, but you are doing so well making plans & trying to stay busy. Things like these usually get easier with practice & time so keep hanging in there and know that we will be here to support you however we can.

take care,
frances

Sashaxx
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 6/20/2010 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora

It would be a difficult time for you, and a time when you feel very much alone. These classes sound a great idea, you may even make new friends there.

I can relate to what you are saying though as I don't have a lot of family, and when my girls are at school and my husband is at work, it can be rather lonely for me also as I can honestly say I dont know anyone or have any friends in my area ( we moved here a few years ago ), but I know partly it is my fault for not getting 'out there', but also people in this area I have found are quite clicky...who you know,what you know etc.. I have a part time job that I enjoy doing, but because of the type of work ( auditor/service checker ) I havent met anyone through there as it is confidential work.

Also I agree with Karen, a pet is a wonderful idea if you haven't got one already. And yes, we on the forum are always here for you anytime you want to talk.
xx Sasha xx
 
Fear less hope more, whine less breathe more, talk less say more, hate less love more.....and all good things are yours.


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/20/2010 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Karen. I know I can always depend on your support. I know my younger son will only be gone 2 weeks but my other son is away till Aug. 19 and they are my only family. I am trying to put a list together for people to call on if I have an emergency but it is the time when so many go away. And my friends have really not been supportive. I guess no one else knows what it feels like to be so sad and alone. The classes are one afternoon seminars, there are 4 of them. They are on sleep, meditation, laughter and meditation and how to be a better listener. I am hoping I can meet someone in class. I am also going to another center where they may have activities I can join. I have a depression support group but it only meets once a month but still is is something. I do have a dog. He is 15 and is deaf. He is getting cranky too and has bad arthritis. But he is good company. I have had so many dogs but after this one no more. I am hoping to go to a retirement community and it would be too hard to have a dog even though they allow small ones. But if I had an apt on the 3rd floor it would be a trick to get the dog out quickly. But if I can just get there I think I will be much happier and will have lots of activities and new people to meet. It's a long road inbetween here and there- have to get my house sold and rid myself of years of stuff. Well, i'll keep posting and hope people will respond.
 
Hugs,
 
Aurora

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40592
   Posted 6/20/2010 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Aurora,

I think you are handling this really well, one step at a time. That is all that a person can do. I admire your courage. And to be honest with you, I have never been alone for any length of time, so I really don't know how it feels. I guess that is why I like my space so much. But if I were to have to be alone, it would probably be another story.

So I know how you feel when you say that a lot of people don't understand lonliness. And they probably don't. We who are so fortunate to have others to live with, probably don't know the half of it.

But I see you as a strong person, and with our help, hopefully you will feel that your life is fullfilled. And hopefully we can take some of the loneliness away with some of our posts.

Many gentle hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/20/2010 4:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Fraces and Sasha. I must have posted my reply to Karen just when you were answering me so please don't think I wasn't recognizing your support. You all have been so wonderful and kind to me and it means the world to me.
Frances, I hope things are easing up for you and that you are doing better. Didn't you start a new job? I hope it is going well for you.
Sasha, I know how it can be even with people around you can still feel lonely. It must be hard when your girls are away at school. I had a hard time the years my youngest was away at college. And he was so far away that I only saw him a few times a year. But he lives in the city about 15 miles from me and he tries to come and visit often. But I don't want to put pressure on him because he works so hard and does have a busy and active life.
Thank you all for caring. You have made my evening much easier.
 
Hugs,
 
Aurora

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40592
   Posted 6/20/2010 4:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Aurora,

I think we posted at the same time, so you may have missed my last post. It is right above your last post.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/20/2010 5:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi again Karen, I think it is true that when you haven't actually experienced something it is hard to put yourself in that place. There is nothing wrong with this it is just hard to know about something if you never experience it. But you are very comforting to me and I admit I do come here to lean on others for help and support. I try to be a strong person and so often I am but I do have my moments
of weakness. I often find myself crying a lot and it is just out of sheer loneliness when I can't even find someone to talk to on the phone. Yesterday I was grocery shopping and really took my time and talked to people who work in the store as I have shopped there for 20 some years so I know the personnel. At least I felt connected. And that is very important to me. I need to feel connected to the real world. I am trying to take this one day at a time. That is all I can do because looking at the whole summer overwhelms me. But I will keep posting and hopefully someone will come on and share a few words with me. I try to help others here
especially someone new as I know it is hard to write that first one. Thank you so much for being so good to me.
 
Many hugs,
 
Aurora

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 6/20/2010 7:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Aurora,
You are so sweet to ask after me. I have had a temp job that I love. :) I'm hoping it will turn permanent. I have an interview with them in a couple weeks. I got an offer from another company, but they turned out to be over-the-top strict about things -- wouldn't agree to even the most basic accommodations for me (letting me bring in a special keyboard for carpal tunnel -- or purchasing one for me). They said it would not match the other ones. They don't allow any ergo keyboards at all, actually. If that was an issue, I can't imagine what would happen if I needed to go to a doctor's appointment at a "non-standard" time. My word, the place just sounds like a massive amount of stress -- and that's the last thing I need is a ton more stress in my life.

The people at my temp job are super nice. They are very laid back & as long as you're getting your work done and not doing anything crazy illegal or anything, they're good with you. So I'm crossing my fingers & saying my prayers. I would like to work there very much -- nice people, challenging work (keeps my mind off other things), beautiful location by parks/shopping/lakefront, and a very sweet boss. I'll be sure to let people know if I get the job. :)

take care of yourself,
frances scool

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 6/20/2010 10:40 PM (GMT -7)   
keepin' em crossed to frances!! aurora, hang in there, here 4 ya. with compassion 2 you both, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/21/2010 7:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hii Siobhan, thanks for your reply. I really need the support now. Just found out
that another friend will be away all summer. So I have almost no one to get together with. It was a blow to me that this other friend didn't want to see me because she doesn't leave until July 10. She didn't seen at all sensitive or responsive to my situation so that is sinking me deeper into depression. I am just going to have to get out and find some things to do but it looks like I am really on my own this summer. I did email you but I did not get one back from you if you did email me. I will try again and hope I will hear from you.
 
Frances, thanks for taking the time to answer me. You are a good support for me and I wish you the best with your job. I hope it will become permanent for you as it sounds like a good fit for you and you are happy there.
 
Aurora
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