Too much to take

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 6/21/2010 5:04 AM (GMT -6)   
My father passed away 2 weeks ago. I was the primary care taker...he was very stubborn and lived alone...though I saw him almost everyday for the past 5 years. I found him in his was very traumatic for me. On top of that my uncle has been told he has 4 months to a year to dad's cousin, like an uncle to me, has ALS...and to top it off my husband wants a divorce and does not want to work on the marriage and has moved into the down stairs bedroom. I cry ALL the time...I cant help seems like my life is falling apart. We have been married 16 years and have a 13 year old...this is too much all at once... :(

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40405
   Posted 6/21/2010 6:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Citygirl,

I would also like to welcome you to the forum. I agree with Siobhan, maybe couples counseling would help. Try and get him to go.

I am sorry for the loss of your father. That must have been devastating for you to see. Be proud of taking care of him so well. You spent a lot of time with him and that is fond memories. Hold on to that.

Some grief counseling might be in order too. That really helps at a time like this.

Know that we all are here for you. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. You are going through a difficult time right now. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers at this time.

We are all here for you. Like I say, keep on posting. You will get a lot of support here.

Take care our new friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/21/2010 7:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Citygirl

You are in my thoughts and prayers also, you certainly have a lot on your plate. I am sorry for the death of your father but you can take great solace in the fact that you saw so much of him and were his primary carer, those thoughts will never leave you.

I think your husband should be comforting you instead of talking about divorce. He doesn't seem to have any empathy at all for you. Why does he want to throw 16 years away, that is 16 years that you or him can't get back and surely there must have been a lot of good times in those years? You have to remind him of the good times, tell him that they far outweigh the bad, make him think, tell him you love him, tell him you don't want him to go. But most of all don't beg him to stay because it won't work. If he has his mind set on leaving then you can't change it. Counselling is worth trying but have you thought if there is a third party involved here? I hate to be the one to ask you that especially at this terrible time but I think it something that you have to address.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we all care and are interested and want to help as much as we can.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18572
   Posted 6/21/2010 8:14 AM (GMT -6)   
my deepest of condolences to you citygirl. you have come to a good place. you have been brave in posting, keep being brave and seek some much needed support. sending compassionate healings your way. here for you, jamie.

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