Someone To Talk To

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Meesa
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 6/21/2010 10:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,
 
I'm an 18 year old girl and I have two older sisters. My entire life, I have felt as if they have been ashamed of me. My one sister has even introduced me once as her cousin. The other one told me about a hundred times that if I lost a little bit of weight, I would be more attractive. I'm thinking that all of these events led of to my resenting both of them. More so often my oldest one. I lash out at her for no reason and I've tried to be nice to her but it doesn't seem like it matters to her. When I'm upset, not only do my sisters tell me this but my mother as well, they tell me that I'm always over reacting and that I need to stop being so depressing. Sometimes a person just needs someone to talk to about their problems. Someone to just sit and listen and even though they think it isn't going to be okay, someone to tell them that it is. I feel like their sole purpose in like is to make me feel like every time I'm upset, is to make me feel even more so. It doesn't seem like I matter enough to them to allow them to just sit there and not be so judgmental. I feel like I cannot be myself around them because if I am, they'll just judge me like they have all the other times.
 
Lately, I've been getting the feeling of being worried all the time, about thinking that I need to do something or else something is going to happen. But since I have no one to talk to, that feeling escalades. I think that if I don't get them to just listen to me and accept me for who I am, I'll just get worse and something bad may happen to me. I feel like I've reached a breaking point, like I won't get better unless I get help soon. I always fight with my older sister and it seems like everyone is always on her side. No one ever wants to just sit down and see what I have to say. They just yell at me and tell me that I'm always over reacting. It isn't fair. I don't talk to my friend's from high school anymore and I think that a person's sister's should be there for them no matter what. But I don't feel that way.
 
 

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/21/2010 10:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Meesa

First of all welcome to the HW Depression Forum, you have come to the right place here as we are all suffering depression for whatever reason and we all try to help one another.

You know I am the black sheep in my family - I'm not saying you are the black sheep in your family, but I am just making a comparison. I have three sisters of which I am the second eldest. I am the big girl of the family, the one with the big build, the big feet, always left out of things, always felt I wasn't worth any boy looking at me twice when I was younger, always had to compete harder to get that promotion at work because I was the big girl, never had a lot of friends at school or even now. It all comes back to self esteem and I am now 56 years of age and I still have low esteem. But I know I am a good person, I have been a great mother, I am loving, caring, compassionate, I have a lot of empathy for people less fortunate than me but most of all "I love me".

It is pretty normal to resent your sisters, I did mine. I think it seems like they are picking on you because you are the youngest. I think maybe they should include you more in their lives, encourage you to lose a little weight, go shopping with you, experiment with makeup and hair colours etc, things that sisters do, maybe all three of you could join the local gym or go walking each evening after dinner, something that you can do together, maybe you should suggest this.

Why don't you see if you could do some deportment classes or self esteem courses or even speak to a counsellor? All or either of these would help you. You sound like you have some anxiety as well, you may even need to or feel better if you speak to your doctor, tell him what is happening with you and how you feel. He may suggest counselling or even some of the courses that I have suggested.

Remember you are most welcome to post here and I hope you will continue to post to let us know how you are going. I hope I have been of some help.


Harrington49


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 6/22/2010 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Meesa,

I love your name. Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. You have come to a good place.

I didn't know it when I was growing up, but my older sisters were very jealous of me. It was a wierd situation. They went to foster homes, and I was adopted by my grandparents. I was only four years old when this happened. My mother was an alcoholic and had many mental issues.

I got treated badly by my mother too because she had to give me up for adoption, though she was still in my life. She was very jealous of the situation and took it out on me. My older sister use to call me the b word. I loved her so much and she didn't love me because she was so jealous. But going to a foster home and waiting for your mother to come and get you when she never is, is hard. So I can understand that now. Where I couldn't before because I was so young. It just hurt. And she would steal things from me when she came to visit. I guess that is becasuse she didn't have anything.

We grew closer when we were grownups. But the sibling years were very difficult. Things will change in time. I bet if it come right down to it, your sisters really do love you. They just aren't showing it right now.

Work on your self esteem. Get into some counsleing. That really does help. You have somebody that you can talk to about anything. Keep posting here too. We are all here for you.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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