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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 6/28/2010 8:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, my boyfriend has a baby. When my parents found out the day he was born, they weren't too excited. My dad more than anyone was disappointed in me. So we broke up for a while on the insist of my parents ad we just recently got back together in January with my parents' approval. The only problem is that when we broke up we were really unhappy and unstable right before split. So before we got back togeher he old me that he was having anoher baby and that it happened while we we apart. I took him back though it was an extremely difficult decision. I stand by my decision 100% but the issue at hand is that my parents don't know. This is what brought me back and I need advice.
"Time is but a mystery, the question is of Me."

-quote by Me, Cedabug.[nickname]

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18563
   Posted 6/29/2010 3:48 AM (GMT -6)   
cedabug. hi jamie here.
for me i think it is important for you and for him to disclose this information. he has a bub and another on the way. tough situation. i feel that you and he should speak openly about this. i am more looking at the commitement issue of rasing a child 1, being the one you guys conceived, let alone 2. for that is the responsibility he faces. my suggsetion would be to find out if he will be an active parent with your child. (and his) i feel some maternal support will help you. my recommendation would be to see your dr and a maternal health professional for support, advocacy and assistance. with compassion, jamie.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 6/29/2010 6:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow, it sounds like this guy jumps in the sack without thinking about it too much. I would be very concerned as your parent too. How old are you? I hope you are not having sex with this guy, as it sounds like he's had many partners.....but I'm guessing it's already too late for this advice.

If you really plan on staying with this fellow, you need to be upfront with your parents. If they find out later - it will really be tough on all of you. Also, he needs to be a father to these children. Are you going to be able to handle that? What happens once you have a baby? Your children will be sharing their daddy with two other families. Is that fair to them?

Please think about what you have decided concerning this guy. There are many things that would steer me away from him real quick. But that's just me.....and I'm 47, and a mom.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, osteoarthritis, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.

fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/29/2010 7:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cedabug

I am a little confused, did you have a baby to this guy or has he got two babies to two other girls? Either way, he is bad news, he has no respect for you or any other woman, he's just bringing kids into the world all over the place. How are you going to cope with this even if you have had a baby to him, he is going to be paying child support for the other child and any others that he might have until that child is 18. How is he going to support you and your child or any that you might have?

I would kick this jerk to the kerb if it were me, sorry to be so blunt but how can you even look at him? I think you need to speak to someone who can talk some sense into you, maybe a counsellor might be able to help you. You need to really think this whole situation through, you only sound young so I know it is a lot to think about, but please get some advice soon.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40402
   Posted 6/29/2010 8:52 AM (GMT -6)   
I want you to think about this too. These children, and their mothers, are going to be a part of this guys life for the next 18-21 years. Can you handle that? And it didn't take long for him to get another woman pregnant while you were apart because of your parents. It wasn't like you two broke up, it was your parents decision. So that makes him unfaithful to you.

Are you up to dealing with all this for then next upcoming years? I would want a guy that was all mine, not one I have to share with two other women. And they will make your life a living hell. So think long and hard about this guy.

Just my two cents worth.

Hugs Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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