Am I depressed or do I not want my relationship anymore??? Help

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greeneyesblue
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/30/2010 2:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I have had "depression" for approx 7 years.  Although I really dont know what I have.  I feel I was originally mis-diagnosed when I was 24ish.  I was in a relationship at the time of being diagnosed that I was extremelly insucure in.  He wasnt the guy for me and it eventually ended.
I have stayed on the Anti-depressants from then on.  I, like most people have had real bad times and good times.  Ive had a few breakups where the "depression" has hit me extremely bad.  so much so that Ive wanted to end it all. :( Where nothing at all make me feel anything other than extreem sadness.  This extreme depression has only hit me twice.  Very bad times.  So painful emotionally that it hurt physically.
Anyway to my current situation.  I met a guy and have been in a serious relationship with him for 6 months.  He is great.  Kind, got his head screwed on well.  Hes "perfect"  Everything ive ever wanted.  about 6 weeks ago literally overnight I woke up and felt differently about him.  Nothing had changed.  He was just the same.  But my stupid mind / feelings had changed.  Im doing my head in as I dont know if thius is depression kicking in or if I just am not in love anymore.  I really dont know what to do.  I feel sad all the time and similarly nothing excites me.  I just dont look forward to anything.  Just down most of the time.
I really need some advise whether this will pass or weather my relationship just isnt working out.
This may seem real petty and unimportant to some.  But its ALL i think about.  I feel like Im crazy. :(
 
Please help if you can.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18743
   Posted 6/30/2010 3:48 AM (GMT -7)   

hi jamie here, depressed 20 plus yrs. definately sounds alike a strong episode. what depression does can be real savage, pls remember that this is a medical issue, and thus i would strongly urge you to talk with your doc. i am down to the pits myself, and i too will be seeking assistance from mine. have an appt 4 the 12th, maybe need to go in sooner. will call the clinic in the morning. be safe, and know that we care. with compassion, jamie.

ps, you have been brave in posting, keep being brave. with healing compassion. jamie, male, 37.


YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/30/2010 4:02 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Greeneyes

I agree totally with Siobhan and Jamiee, you need to see your doctor and get on top of it before it gets a really bad hold on you. You sound like you met the perfect man who loves you and he isn't going to know what is going on with you unless you sit him down and tell him about the past episodes that you have experienced.

It sounds to me like your relationship is worth fighting for, so fight for it girl. See your doctor and ask to be referred to a counsellor as well.

Good luck, please let us know how you get on.
Harrington49


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 6/30/2010 4:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Greeneyesblue,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am so happy that you have posted to us. It takes a lot of courage to open up to strangers, though we aren't strangers to you anymore, you are a part of our group now.

Yes depression sucks, there is no better way to put it. I would talk to somebody though about this. Like Siobhan suggested maybe couples counseling would be good. And it sounds like he is the type of guy that would go with you. I hope so anyway.

It sounds like you have a good relationship, maybe sitting down and talking to your SO would be the way to go. It sounds like he would understand. Either way, don't give up. open up to somebody. And keep faith in yourself. You sound like a good person and I think that you can work this out.

Keep posting, know that we are all here for you and you are not alone in this.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


greeneyesblue
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/30/2010 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for making me feel welcome and not crazy...
 
I have told my boyfriend about my history and about how im feeling at the moment, as I feel i really have to make an effort to be nice to him at times and wanted him to know why.  He is very supportive even though he does not understand.  I guess most people that havent experienced it dont understand it.
 
When ever I do see my doctor he says to me "what can you do to make yourself happy"  ???????  If I knew the answer to that I wouldnt be talking to the doctor right. hmmm.  So I give up talking to him about it.  Because Im not in tears, I just feel terribly unhappy and unmotivated and look forward to nothing I feel that if I was to see a counceler they would think there is nothing wrong with me and why I was wasting their time.  Im there fore reluctant to see one.
 
greeneyesblue

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18743
   Posted 6/30/2010 11:12 PM (GMT -7)   
then say exactly what you posted. with healing compassion, jamie.

yeah, depression sucks. here for ya.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/30/2010 11:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Greeneyes

Jamiee is right, tell them exactly what you have told us. Counsellors are there to listen, not to judge, not to ask you what you can do to make you happy. I think you will be pleasantly surprised just how good you will feel afterwards.

Take our advice, it's good. Keep posting.
Harrington49


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 7/1/2010 8:26 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with the others, write it down, or print it off. Many times it is hard to remember what we want to talk about when we are there. I always take a list.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Lotskibob
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 7/2/2010 1:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Im sorry I havent read much of the posts other than the original post, I often find it difficult to pay attention to big sections of text. By the way guys, it is absolutely terrifying when you say 'Ive been depressed for 20 years etc'

I dont think you have suddenly fallen out of love with this guy. I am exactly the same when I get really low, I try and push everyone away and I dont want my boyfriend to be with me and so get it into my head that I must not love him any more. In my mind, I can usually tell that I dont truely want him to go away when Im sat with him. No matter how angry or upset I get, with him or otherwise, I ALWAYS have my feet on him, or my hands on him, or have some kind of contact when we sit together. So I test myself. I move and sit so that we have no contact but it always gives me this sinking feeling so I know I still love him. At one point I completely forgot I was furious with him because I moved from hugging him and couldnt sit comfortably, so he went to walk away and I grabbed him and snuggled up to him.

So maybe try talking to him and explain what youve been going through, if he really is perfect he will understand. Then try and notice things you do out of habit because you know hes there and stop doing it a little bit. If you have a strong urge to do it again Id say youre still in love with him.

horse crazy
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 7/2/2010 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
It is quite amazing to be after a zillion years fo being bipolar and basically depressed for the past 2 years, how much a mood change can change our whole view on things, from relationships, to interests, to life in general. NEVER kae a big decision during a mood change, esp. depression. Get help, talk to people who understand, get your meds in line and be patient. You will be OK
Listen to others on the forum.
Horse Crazy
Bi-polar I; rapid cycler; Lithium 600
Requip XL 8mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg
 


greeneyesblue
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/4/2010 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Well I am definatelly not going to make any rash decisions.  I am going to book myself in with a doctor and get a stronger "anti-depressant" for sure.  May even see if I can find some natural pills or something to take to help also. 
 
My boyfriend is great.  I am a being mean and grumpy to him alot and that in turn makes me feel terrible.  I feel like I just want to be alone.  But then when i am alone I dont know what to do with myself. 
 
Anyway thank you all for your comments.  Much appriciated!!!!!  I haven't spoken to anyone about this except my boyfriend but he doesnt know Im doubting our relationship.  Only you guys know that. 
 
Take care everyone
 
:)
 
 

Post Edited (greeneyesblue) : 7/5/2010 3:28:47 AM (GMT-6)


greeneyesblue
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/8/2010 4:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hiya Siob,
Still feel the same.  Havent had a chance to see the doc.  Things are hectic at the moment.  I am planning on finding a better doctor and get my medication strengthened.  Its all I can think of to do to feel better.
Im sick of feeling like this :(
Thank you for caring.
 
Green eyes

Lost2727
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2015
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/5/2015 10:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Did things get better? I really want to know bc I'm going through the same thing right now.
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