too depressed =(

How to deal with this depression
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faith1101
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/5/2010 4:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Ive been in a realtionship for 2 years now. i just broke up with my bf last month, and many more times before that. we always end up getting back together. this is a man i lost my virginity to and had a miscarriage with. im still going through the lost. sometimes go threw withdraws cuz of it. during our our relationship he cheated and got another woman pregnant which right now the baby is 9 months. kills me inside so much. even thinking about it gets me  sick inside. always thinking "why me?". i tried getting pregnant after my miscarriage but cant seem to conceive ( my miscarriage was a 1yr and a half ago). my reason for my depression. My bf is really cold heart and only express him feelings when he drunk. I love him so much and cant understand why, knowing that he put me through so much. Sometimes i feel i cant even live without him. Then sometimes i just feel im better off without him. Lately we been talking but we wont want to be seen in public because he say that i put him through too much. That i never trusted him and that im always fighting. so he says that people will think that he stupid for him still hanging with me basically. He stills talks to the mother of the baby . And while i was with him he even will sometimes be in her house all day and one time even stood over her house and didnt come home till 2 in the afternoon ( we lived together for those 2 yrs). He keeps telling me that the reason he is trying to keep the peace with her cuz she always threatening him to take him to court for child support. me and her dont get along so she wouldnt allow the baby over our house so he has to go see the baby in her house. He says that he dont love her but that i have to accept there relationship cuz they have a baby together now. Im just soo confused, hurt, etc. sometimes i say that im still with him just to have a baby, cuz thats all i want. But i really do love him and i hate the fact that we going threw this. I wish i could just forget him and move on. But i dont know how to. Once i start my goal i always end up going back. Please help me...im sooo depressed. ALL I WANT HONESLTY IS TO GET PREGNANT AND HAVE MY BABY IN MY ARMS.

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 7/5/2010 5:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Faith

Welcome to the HW Forum.

Did you receive any grief counselling when you had the miscarriage? You need to speak to a doctor and tell him how you are feeling and ask about the counselling. You are griefing and you need help and support. I am sure there will be other children for you when the time is right.

Why are you so dependent on this fellow? He sounds like he doesn't know who he wants to be with, you or the baby's mother. If I were you, I would get the counselling and pack my stuff and get out of there, I don't think he is ever going to know which house he wants to be in and he can't have it both ways. She can meet him at the shopping centre or a park where he can see the baby, he doesn't have to go to her house all the time.

Personnaly, I think he's a deadbeat and you deserve better than him. As for him looking stupid because he is still hanging with you, well it sounds to me like he made himself look stupid all by himself. He doesn't seem to have any loyalty to you. Think about what you are going to do Faith, but make your first step counselling.

Keep posting and let us know how you are going.
Harrington49


faith1101
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/5/2010 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Harrington49.

Yes i have been going to counseling. But it doesnt seem to be helping much i guess. And i already left that house and is currently staying with my mother. Why i dependent on this guy is the question i still havent found the answer to. Im just sooo confused that i guess im just hoping that things between him and i just get better on it own. And i feel like if i just stick around eventually he will see that i really do love him and he will change. =(

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 7/5/2010 5:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Faith,

He needs to pay child support. So she should take him to court and make him pay it. Then he will have partial custody. But remember this child is going to be in his life for at least the next 18 years. Are you going to be able to handle that? I don't know why you want a baby with him. He doesn't want to support the one he has. Think of the future of the child, not just that you want a baby. If you have a baby just for yourself, that would be very selfish. So think long and hard about this.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


faith1101
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/5/2010 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   
ur right karen....thank you

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 7/5/2010 7:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Faith

I think you need to continue the counselling or try another counsellor, one that you feel a connection with.

I think you are flogging a dead horse with this guy, he's no good. I think you feel some kind of loyalty to him because he was your first and because of the baby. Darling, you deserve better than him and there are better out there. I think you should put off having a baby for a quite a while as you are still griefing for the baby you lost, you are not in the right frame of mind at the moment to be bringing another human being into this world. But that is not to say that one day you won't be, you have to get yourself well first.

I am really pleased that you have moved out of that house, as being around him is not good for you. You need a complete break from him. You need someone that hasn't got baggage, no kids already as he will be responsible for that child till it is 18 years old, imagine the strain that would put on any relationship.

Faith, keep taking you meds and please find another counsellor because it will help you, believe me.
Harrington49


SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 7/5/2010 8:51 PM (GMT -7)   
You have depression don't let it take over.......
SnowyLynne

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