I do think that there is a bond there when you are with somebody who has previously had a family. The children will always come first. But that doesn't mean that she doesn't love you terribly. But it is something that you are going to have to live with until the boys are of age, and probably still after that. So you have to accept that and live with it if you want to have a relationship with her.
Don't get into that jealous mode. That is just going to ruin your relationship with her. I know that it is hard, but checking on her would not only make you look controlling, but also insecure. So don't even go there.
I have noticed a lot of people always text and call their partners. But to me it is childish and does make the other one look possessive or immature. Though a lot of young people do that. A lot of times when I go somewhere I don't even carry my cell phone, because I don't want people bothering me. Maybe she feels secure enough in the relationship that she doesn't feel the need to call you.
I do think that you are projecting some. Try to have faith in your relationship. Take each day as it comes and try to go with the flow of things. I am not saying your situation with the ex and kids is going to be easy. It may not, but you can make it work. If you love her enough you will make it work. And always keep the childrens best interest at heart. That way you can't go wrong. But know it is their decision if anything needs to be done about anything. I think you can understand what I am saying, having trouble getting the right words out.
Best of luck with your situation. Keep posting.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies