One step forward...two steps back...

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ffks83
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/12/2010 6:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Being diagnosed with depression was a hard pill to swallow. Accepting my diagnosis and taking the steps to get better is still very difficult. But I thought I was making progress...I had been feeling better; my relationship with my boyfriend was on the road to recovery.
I thought it was time to reveal to my parents that I am suffering depression and am working on getting better.
Their reaction was not at all what I had imagined. They said that I was faking it and just using it as an excuse because I'm struggling to finish school. I was afraid to tell them when I was first diagnosed because I was afraid of their reaction. It turns out, I was right.
They do not believe that depression is real and they're telling me to simply 'get over it.'
Right now I feel lower than I have felt in a long time. I don't know what to do to help them understand that depression is real and that I'm hurting.
I thought that if I told my parents the truth, then I wouldn't have to continue to hide and maybe my road to recovery would be less bumpy. However, I feel so ashamed now that they know the truth. The feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, failure and everything that I've been working on letting go have all returned. They are comparing me to my cousins who are the same age and who have accomplished so much more than I have. I feel like everything that I've worked so hard for has all gone down the drain because my parents don't believe that depression is real. If anyone can offer me some advice on how to help them understand it would be greatly appreciated.

Fiona

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 7/12/2010 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Fiona,
 
Just because your parents don't believe in depression doesn't mean it sin't real.  Take it with a grain of salt at this point.  I know that you want them to believe you and help you.  But the truth is at this point they don't.  So you have to find a way to continue going on.  Are you seeing a doctor?  And a counselor?  It seems you are seeing a coundselor.  Continue to do this.  She/he will help you get through this.  Whether your parents believe you or not.  Try to be patient with them.  People who have never been depressed, have no clue as to what we are going through.  So be patient with them.  Just do the best you can around them.  Try not to think of the depression when you are around them.  Put on your happy face and do the best that you can.  Being that they don't acknowledge your depression hurts, but like I say.  If you have never been depressed, you can't understand it.  And that really isn't their fault.  They just don't "get it".
 
Keep posting here, it will help you to feel better.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 7/12/2010 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Fiona

Don't let them drag you back down, all that excellent progress you have made, hang on to it. The worse thing anyone can say to someone who is depressed is "get over it". Please don't take it to heart, tip toe around them and try not to argue with them over it as that will surely send you crashing.

Confide in your boyfriend, keep seeing your doctor and try and see your counsellormore often, they will all help you to hang onto that great progress.

Hang in there Fiona, we are all thinking of you and are here to support you.
Harrington49


ffks83
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/13/2010 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for your advice.

I wasn't getting through to my parents by myself, so I asked them to watch a PBS Special entitled "Depression: Out of the Shadows"
It contained testimonials of people who suffered from depression and their experiences, as well as explanations from experts who are attempting to learn more about this illness. I think it helped my parents understand a little bit about the realities of depression. They are both from very traditional families, in which very little emotion was shown, feelings were never discussed, and mental illness did not exist. So I can't blame them for not understanding. I just hope that they are able to open up and accept that I am ill and try to understand.

I made earlier posts about how things between my boyfriend and I were getting better. Well my parents' reaction to this news set off a chain of events that eventually led to my boyfriend asking for yet another break. I don't know what to do anymore. It seems as if nothing is ever going to get better. I feel as though I'm failing in all aspects of my life. It's like I'm back to square one.

My boyfriend, or whatever he is now, says that I still can call him if I need someone to talk to. But this time it seems as if he's heard enough of my crying and is getting fed up. I'm afraid that if I don't start getting better again very quickly, I'm going to push him into giving up completely. It's been a rough couple of days. I keep trying to grasp some of the techniques that I've been using to calm myself down, but it seems as if the depression is stronger and pulls me back into this deep sadness.

I want to scream but I have no voice...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 7/13/2010 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ffks83,
 
Are you going to any type of counseling right now?  I think you could use the extra support and help in finding answers for yourself. 
 
I am sorry about the situation with your boyfriend.  But this gives you a chance to work on yourself.  Learning to love and trust ourselves is a hard journey, but it is attainable.  So don't ever give up. 
 
Keep posting here.  This is a good place to let things out.  And to get support.  Know that we are all here for you.
 
Take care,
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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