Missing my best friend

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Lotskibob
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 7/14/2010 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been feeling a lot better of late, so Ive been making the most of it, but one thing that really does get me down is my best friend.

A bit of background info:
We made friends when I was 12, he was 14, when he was dating my friend. Then when he and my friend broke up we started dating and he was my first boyfriend. We didnt do anything but kiss. He was there when I first started to get depressed, but only minorly. Then I went away to france for camp and I was getting texts that he was making out with his ex (my friend) and I tried confronting him and he said they were just hanging out and she sat on his lap etc. It was all very complicated, but I didnt care about any of it except that they had told me in the middle of france when I couldnt do anything about it. After I got back things fizzled out and we argued alot (I decided to forgive everyone because I was just so confused) and we eventually broke up. After about 6 months we became 'friends' again, brother and sister kind of friends, we would fight and argue alot and tell everyone we hated each other, but come christmas, he bought me and two other friends a necklace with our initials on (apparantly, judging by past presents this meant he fancied us). We carried on fighting, and when he had anger management problems I helped calm him down, he'd play fight with me (to 'teach me', although doing so he kicked me in the chest with steel toe caps and thrown me over his sholder onto a concrete floor) and eventually (idk what happened) we stopped being friends. (I think I tried getting off with his best friend who wasnt interested). I met my current boyfriend through his vampirefreaks page, they went to college together.
Then he went out with a girl I hated, because she made my best friends boyfriend cheat on her, and then cheated on every guy she went out with with my best friends boyfriend, while he was still with my best friend. Inevitably she cheated on him, and he was crushed, and I took this opportunity to make friends with him again. Since then (about a year ago now) weve been getting closer and closer, playing sims together, having girly sleepovers (hes my straight gay best friend) and watching movies (Zombies. He taught me I love Zombies). When a girl he really really liked used him for a week and then dumped him I was there, I brought him ice cream and sat hugging him through his anger, constantly aware he could break my arms if he didnt want me there because of the mood he was in, and just waiting for him to stop crying from rage.
I was there for him when he went to the doctors for depression, and sat silently listening, while the doctor listed my own symptoms, holding back tears.

Now heres my problem:

He got this new girlfriend. I hate her, I hated her since she went out with my other ex because she just annoyed me so much. She cheated on him with girls and she does the same to my SGBF. Hes paranoid and gets really upset when it comes to cheating. The first time she did it to him, I ended up holding him while he screamed and shouted, again, and he said he was gonna break up with her, but he ended up apologising to her and taking her shopping.
Me and my friends dont like her, and one of my friends said so way too loudly once and my GSBF almost strangled him for it. Now she knows we hate her and has forbidden him from talking to us. He spends all his time at her house and his phone is always off.

But now I need him, I need someone to hold me while i scream and shout, to come to the doctors with me. I know I have a wonderful boyfriend, but he cares too much sometimes, and me being upset upsets him.

Everytime I check my friends facebook, only to find hes ignored me again, I just want to cry my heart out. I want to comment on her page to get his attention, even if its just for him to yell at me. I jsut need to know hes there. His dad recently went to hospital and Ive still seen hide nor hair of him, so Im guessing she didnt let him go see him either.

What can I do? I want my friend back :(

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 7/14/2010 3:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lotskibob,
 
Since you have a boyfriend, I think you should go to him for comfort.  And posting on facebook would be a bit immature don't you think??? 
 
I think you should stick with your boyfriend for support and not go after a boy who has another girlfriend. 
 
This is a support forum and we are here to support you with depression problems.  But I don't know if we can sort out your issues with your SGBF.  It all depends if somebody feels up to the challenge. 
 
I hope that you feel better soon.  Like I say, we are here to support you.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Lotskibob
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 7/14/2010 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Im not going after him, I just want to chat to him. Hes my best friend. I know its immature to post on facebook but its the only connection I have left.

I just wanted advice on what to do to feel better.

This is why I dont ask for help from anyone but him and my boyfriend, now I dont feel like posting for a while.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 7/14/2010 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
If you post on facebook, don't post bad things about his girlfriend.  That will only make him angry.  What does your boyfriend think of your friendship with him?  Some men wouldn't like that. 
 
If you don't feel up to posting that is okay.  We are still here for you.  But your matter is more of a personal issue than a depression issue.  Like I said, if anybody is up to the challenge they will post.  But if they don't, don't feel bad, this is a depression forum.
 
Here are some sites that might be better suited for your situation.
 
 
I hope that they help you some.  These would be more for your peer group and your situation.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 7/15/2010 12:17 AM (GMT -7)   
stick with your current bf, he sounds very decent. if your best friend wants to re-engage then that is up to him. i know your sadnedd, albeit people do came and go. hoping this helps, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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