been having dark days, today the worst, feel numb from the pain. Feeling very lonely, I hate ****ography... alot. Tryed and tryed to resist urge for it... couldnt. hated waching it. feel sick and tired, feel like life cant get better, feel like god is only going to make life worse because i wached ****... I no longer enjoy sleeping, eating, or getting out of bed. In a dark bad place of life, a sad dark lonely place.