Teen Depression

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ctp-jimmyd
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/19/2010 1:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there,

I've read a few of the recent posts on the Depression board, and you guys seem to all be pretty helpful, and I've only recently decided to open up about my problems.

For a weeks, close to two months now, I've always been feeling empty, and inadiquite (excuse my spelling) to all the family and peers around me, and I know my Dad has had similar symptoms before he was diagnosed with Depression.
  • A shourt-fuse temper.
  • Hyserical crying, sometimes lasting for 30 minutes.
  • Feelings of lonliness and being an outcast.


Not only have I been going through the above, I've also started having , which is a stupidly addictive thing, that I warn absolutely everyone not to do, it leaves nasty scars and reminders of everything that's gone wrong, don't do it. I know I should stop. I can't stop, no matter how determined I am, I just can't help but do it. I'm also too scared to go and see a counsellor or health professional about this, as I'm scared of people judging me.

I feel guilty for laying my problems with all of the people that are reading this, but I've never felt comfortable talking to someone I know, cos I'm worried they'd change how they see me.

Any replies are welcome.
Thanks so much for having the patience to listen to me, not really worth anyone's timee..
J, x

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 7/19/2010 4:18:20 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 7/19/2010 3:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there and welcome to the depression forum.  I am sorry that I had to edit your post but we are not allowed to discuss self harm or suicide.  But here is a website that might help you.
 
You should be able to find some help there.  Otherwise if there is something else that you would like to discuss feel free to do so. 
 
I highly recommend seeing a counselor for you.  They will not judge you at all.  They will help you with this.
 
Keep posting and know that we care.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


myjoy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 7/20/2010 5:19 AM (GMT -7)   
It does sound like you are struggling with deression.

And yes, you can stop the actions you are doing. I stopped about 15 years ago. It's a mind set.

Please get some help. You do need a therapist/counselor/psychiatist. It feels great to tell them your troubles. They have heard everything, and are well equiped to give you guidance.

Keep talking here, too!
DX fibromyalgia 2007, osteoarthritis, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.

fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.


ctp-jimmyd
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/20/2010 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Heyy,

Thanks for all your replies and support, it's nice to know that there's someone out there that will put up with all my moaning, :).
 
Yeah, I'm Male, and just leaving year 11 (I'm from UK), meaning I'll be off school for around 3 months, meaning that by leaving it to see the school 'nurse' it'd be leaving it way to long. I don't know of any counsellors around this area, and even if there was any around, I wouldn't be able to force myself to go, I don't like talking to people face to face about my problems, hence that when i go outside of my room, I have to put on a fake smile so noone can notice how I'm hurting; I don't like worrying people when it's not that urgent.
 
My leisure time usually consists of sitting around all day doing nothing, regularly playing on my guitar, or talking to mates. Today's the first day for like, 2 weeks I've had any civilisation to be around.

I've had no real traumatic experiences recently that would've triggered anything like this. I've had a rocky few weeks, but nothing that's really taken it's toll.

Thanks,
J, x
 
 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 7/20/2010 10:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Keep playing that guitar.  Put your feelings into it.  It could just be the outlet that you need.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ctp-jimmyd
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/22/2010 2:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Karen,

I'm currently in a band with a few mates, so that keeps the creative juices flowing, so I'm finding it easier to express feelings than ever before.

I do have a query though. that website you said I should have a look at doesn't work. Would it be an old website that's shut down, as I have a high-specification computer, and doubt it would be my inability to connect.

Thanks,
J, x

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 7/22/2010 6:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Try typing it into your browser and see if it helps. It took me to a few different sites.
Here is another one to try


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ctp-jimmyd
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/23/2010 12:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen,

Thanks for re-posting the website, I will start signing up now, and try to talk to others on there in similar possitions as myself.



Siobhan,

* I believe there is a GP surgery I could get to, but knowing which ones are GP surgerys, and which ones are just like free-lance doctors/clinics, will have to mean deeper 'research'. Is there any quick and easy way I would be able to find out where all the GP surgerys are in my local area?
* I personally (even though maybe I should) have no idea about the current or previous Government; for I have no family or anything around me that really take much interest either.


* My creativity seems to be closing up, and for the past, maybe 5-7 days, I've written maybe, two verse; whereas normally I'd be writing that much everyday. I haven't been able to string any words or Chords together, and anything I play just sounds completely rubbish, so I scrap it, and start again.
I've also tried writing about the future, for example; maybe my future family etc, but it always comes back to the present, and how things aren't gonna be as good as anyone says it will, no matter how hard I try. This instantly gets thrown away. I've got writers block a few times in the past, but maybe for hours, a day maximum. I don't know what's happening, but there's an overwhelming sence that all I'm doing by writing about my feelings, are just making them more extreme, and sometimes it makes them harder to deal with, as appose to easier, like it used to doing.

Thanks again,
J, x

P.S.  'J, x' is just an easier way of signing a post, I'm not trying to hide my identity or anything. My name's James, but my friends call me Jimmy / JimmyD (we have a few James' in the school I go to).  Feel free to address me in any three ways, or something more creative if you fancy! (:

Post Edited (ctp-jimmyd) : 7/23/2010 2:01:55 AM (GMT-6)


left forum.
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 7/23/2010 3:28 AM (GMT -7)   
hey :) just wanted to say i am so sorry that you have to deal with depression. i don't know what it exactly feels like because i dont have it but i live with chronic pain and chronic fatigue and my liver is failing, so somedays i feel so down and like giving up and i feel like i will never smile or be happy again or socialise because i just wanna cry, but i always make myself get up and go for a walk or do something creative and it does make me smile and happy! but i know the feeling of not being able to get out of such a horrible state and not knowing what to do or why you are even here because it seems so horrible but you will get out of that state but i think you should see a doctor or psychologist so you know you aren't alone in this and that you have others that understand. because its not just you thats feeling like that so many people do and its normal and it seems so hard to talk to someone but once you do i think you will find it easier. might not help but when your feeling terrible it always helps me to listen to a sad song and just have a bit of a cry but then i have to tell myself to lighten up and i listen to an upbeat happy song and just chat to a friend or think about making plans with people.

sorry i can't help but i really do hope it all turns out well for you,
everyones here for you:)
hugs xx

ctp-jimmyd
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/23/2010 5:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Heyy,

Thanks for all your wishes Buttercup, means alot.

Siobhan; turns out there is a GP surgery right across the road from me, I probably should've known that already.
What would I say at the reception though? I'm quite conscious about how people think at me; that's why I've taken so long to really open up properly to anyone outside of like, my 2 closest friends.

Thankss,
J, x

ctp-jimmyd
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/24/2010 8:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Siobhan,

Sometime this week, I'll run over (not literally) to the surgery, and make an appointment to see a doctor; does it matter what one I see? When I get the appointment, I'll probably take my best friend along, he's like a brother to me, he's helped me through so much.

I wish that I could believe in myself as much as you do.. I spent about an hour, just sat crying to the towel, I'm worried that I'm going to have a (hmm, can't think of the right word).. a breakdown, or relapse, and fall into my own ways of doing stupid things into myself, and I've got alot of catching up to do. Like I'm an android, just fed of pain and insecurity, "/

J, x

ctp-jimmyd
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/25/2010 2:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Guys,

I'm in trouble. I can't do this. or put up with this; I'm deteriorating, but I'm too scared and worried to go and deal with it. I probably sound like an idiot, but I can't go over to the doctors. I just can't. I'm sitting here, with so many words and things going through my head, that I just can't understand any single last thing that Im thinking. I want to quit this, but Im just good on the hope that its a phase, a really long phase, (I've felt like this [increasingly worse] for probably a year, and it's stupid, and I dont know what to say, 'cos half the stuff Im feeling I cant talk about on this website. ad there's noone online, or around me that I can rage at. You guys will read this and think Im a nut, and need to go get help, and yeah, everyone knows that, everyone can see through this disguise, cos it's just evaporating infront of me, . I just wish that none of this ever happened, and it's stupid, cos there's nothing wrong with me. well. There is. but I don't care. Ive go so much on my mind, ive put my mental state right to the back, and Im adament that itll be easier in time, I know it wont, but I cant force myself to get help.

I'm sorrry. "/ ; I needed to get loads out of my system, and I dont expect a reply, or you to be able to help, cos i know youve got alot of your own stuff, and these are my problems that only I can sort out, and noone can do anything to help me, no matter how much anyone tried/wanted to help, but yeah, I need to talk to someone about them, cos I don't feel comfortable talking to people I know, incase they hange how they see me. I don't need that, not right now.
 
Great, here come the tears again,
James, "/ x 

Post Edited (ctp-jimmyd) : 7/25/2010 3:42:33 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 7/25/2010 7:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry you are feeling so down.  And I am sorry that you can't talk about some of the problems that you have because of the rules.  There should be a place that you can go to.
 
 
Maybe some of these sites can help you too.  Plus talking on here.  There is one other one, but I don't know if it is for teens or not.
 
 
I believe it is more like therapy in a way.  I have never checked it out myself, but others have found help there.
 
I really hope that you can feel better soon.  I hope that your mood improves.  Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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