I think I am back

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-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 7/20/2010 3:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone :) I finally got myself around the right frame of mind to come back. Sorry about disappearing for over 2 weeks, I was feeling guilty for my unloading of my problems (which I know wasn't necessary to feel) and like I wasn't fit to advise anyone. Hehe now though I have begun to feel guilty for not being here for the forum. I have painstakingly pulled myself out of the quicksand for now I do believe.

That being the case, how's everyone been :)? I hope well, and if not that good working towards it (I know I had to). I'll be doing my best to make it on maybe every other night to hit the few posts that really speak to me. I think part of those of us who very often find themselves on the counseling side of the conversation (thanks for helping to pull me out Wounded Healer), but also suffer some of the same problems ourselves, the same process used to help others can lead to our own realizations. The knowledge that you've truly helped someone in a unique way, I think, also is a very large part of the draw for some to counsel. In my efforts to help here I am helping others in a unique way, sometimes helping myself to new realizations, and also countering some of my personal depression and issues with confidence with the knowledge that I am truly helping.

When I find a post that really hits home with me, I feel a surge...whether it be the ideas, solutions, possible paths, explanations...or possibly it's the anticipation of knowing that I can actually supply an answer, a feeling like I am doing what I should be doing. Thank you all for allowing me the opportunity to be able to do that, hehe and also for humoring my rants (which I know I can do) and supporting my weak points when they flare. I am glad to be back



Christian

harrington49
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 7/20/2010 5:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Christian and welcome back, it's good to see you posting again. We all hit those low spots where you think there is no way out but most times we can find our way back.

Keep posting as you give great advice and I look foward to reading your posts again on the forum.
Harrington49


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 7/20/2010 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,

I just wanted to say that I too enjoy your inspiring posts on the forum. Glad that you are back. But you don't always have to be the strong one, we are here to help you too.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 7/20/2010 7:15 PM (GMT -7)   
:-) It is good for me to see me back too Harrington, hehe. I need to realize that whatever my own difficulties be, that should never keep me from what I feel I was put here for. If I allow that to happen, I know that I am being pulled under. It is like conceding defeat in the worst of ways...not only am I giving up on myself, but I am also allowing my collapse to keep others from possibly receiving help. I am a very logical person, but I also have what seems at times to be an overabundance of feeling. Everyone has to find their own fulcrum between the two, in this case I just let slip where that point should be, you could say that I had my priorities a bit mixed up.

Thank you again Wounded Healer for being the catalyst that finally healed me enough to realize what I had been doing. I know that I can come here for support, thank you for that Karen, and I do very much appreciate it and will when needed...but I let myself get out of hand a bit, and for that I do apologize.

Hey Shuvvy :) Thank you for the compliments, hehe whether or not they are entirely warranted I'll just leave up in the air. The mental strength though, that I do know definitely does not come from me nor is mine. Without knowing the truth about so many things, realizing my purpose now, and knowing that Jesus Christ died for all of my sins, my problems, my shortcomings, and every type of failing you could think of...there would be no strength to speak of (and possibly no me to speak). All of my motivation, ability, compassion, and empathy stem from the Lord, because I most certainly do not possess the strength necessary. Your posts also inspire me, and always seem to bring a little more happiness into view. Never think for a moment that you do not have just as much, if not more of a part in helping people on this forum as anyone does. I remember that much from when I myself started posting here. I started because I was at my wits end, I continued because of you all and the opportunities I have here to use my gifts as they're meant to be used (long overdue I might add). I love all you guys in a way I wouldn't have considered at all as I was typing my first ENORMOUS post :).

If I can help one person, really help, in all my time spent here...then that is good enough for me. You all have helped me very much and I do believe I've arrived at my answers (basically). Now it is time for me to do what I was put here for, what you all have been part of helping me to realize. I mean that to such an extent that I believe I will be going to school for counseling. I am 25 years old with one year of art school under my belt, I have struggled with finding something that inspired me as well as payed the bills. I had thought that only existed in art and music for me, but I know now my purpose. Thank you all, and I will be around more often ;)


Christian

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 7/20/2010 8:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Christian,
 
I am happy to hear that you want to get into counseling.  I think you would be very good at it.  You seem to have all the qualities that would be needed. 
 
I think it is cool that you went to school for art.  I paint with acrylics.  I am a surealist in most of my work.  I really enjoy it, though I haven't done it for a long time.  I seem to paint more when I am depressed.  And I haven't been depressed lately.  Plus I guess you just have to be in that mood.   And it isn't something I can turn on and off.  I guess that is what makes it hard to make a living as an artist.  Hence, the starving artist...
 
Well, I most certainly am happy for you and your decision.  Keep us posted definately. 
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 7/21/2010 12:25 AM (GMT -7)   
I have dealt some with acrylics, but not much. I do enjoy many of the surrealist pieces I've seen, especially in paint because of the blending and mixing effects that you can achieve.

I ended up taking one year for art to more pointedly get into photography. I found out though that there is such a low job placement, even if it is what you love, you just get out of school with massive debt and no special income to pay it off. It was a very good experience though, I found out in that year that I could draw amazingly if I put my mind to it. My brother has been an excellent artist (drawing and painting mainly, some digital stuff now) since he was a little kid, he was able to draw quite well by age 6 or so. I have never known that I could because I thought it just wasn't my thing...I'd see the masterful art he created, and had a fairly high gauge for art.

When I started my year I found out that I had to take drawing classes to get to photography...so I warned the teacher that I couldn't draw on the first day. She just looked at me with a little smile and said, "yes you can", and basically just ignored my "warnings". In a matter of two and a half months I went from not being able to draw more than basic forms, to something that I couldn't (and still have a hard time) believe that I had produced. I have always been into sculpture, pottery, 3D arts mainly as I grew up. A few years ago photography got a hold of me, but I never knew I had any talent in drawing. I'm looking on the posting options and not seeing how to attach pictures, otherwise I could add some of the drawings I have done, also possibly some of the photos. I look at them to this day, right now even, and can hardly comprehend how I had managed to capture the images as I did...and with a pencil, pen, or charcoal instead of a camera. That, in my art, is the height of perfection, to be able to capture an image, place, or thing exactly as I am seeing it...that is why I love photography so much. I feel and experience certain things when I take in an area. I am, for that moment, utterly and completely changed by it...enthralled by beauty, in wonder of the creation, knowing that this art was created by God...but at such a higher level in every aspect, letting it seep into me, the serenity, the air's freshness being outside of a city...hoping that possibly when I leave the place, I will be able to take as much of it with me as I can. The only way that I could even begin to imagine sharing aany small part of that experience would be to either take the person there or to do my absolute best to capture it in a picture. (another rant, hehe sorry)

I know all about the starving artist thing...it isn't easy, but I couldn't imagine being anything else, well other than a successful artist, or my new finding about counseling. I would love to see your work if you had some posted up somewhere Karen, I always love to look at art.

Post Edited (-Misunderstood-) : 7/21/2010 7:43:22 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 7/21/2010 7:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Wolves is my favorite thing to paint.  I have done many of them.  I have so much unfinished art that it isn't even funny.  I get bored with it, or lose my mood so I start something else. 
 
I love photography too.  I have been taking some pretty cool photos of flowers.  I got a pretty good camera, because I was never good at taking photos but now I am.  It centers things and you can zoom in and get close ups.  People think I am a good photographer, when it is really the camera.  I will try to post some things on here, but I have to figure it out.  I did photobucket at one time, I will see if I can do it again.  Even if it is just one photo of my work.  My art teacher use to compare me to Salvador Dali.  I thought that was cool.  I love his work.
 
I hope that your day is going well, I am running behind already this morning so I will end here.
 
Take care Christian.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


-Misunderstood-
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 7/21/2010 7:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Wolves are a good subject for art :). Usually for my photography I enjoy landscapes, sunrise/sunset, basically anything in nature...waterfalls, mountains, whatever it is that grabs hold of me. I wish I could afford a nicer camera at the moment, I am stuck using a 90 dollar cheapo...but I did end up kinda surprising myself with some of the shots I got with it. If you figure out how to post pics Karen, let me know. I took pictures of my drawings and have a set of pictures taken from the lake out behind my house that turned out amazingly good. (I hope you get to catch up on your day Karen!)

Hehe, all I said shuvvy was the truth, it just so happened to be putting you in a pretty good light :). I hardly consider myself a talented person, much less so than I could or possibly should be were I to have applied myself more in the past 6 years. Dealing with my depression and problems on my own for the past 6 years though has kept me from being terribly productive.

The drawing really is a complete oddity, I can't necessarily say that I love to draw, or even enjoy it much...but when I am put to doing it and give it the proper time to get done, I end up with something that I honestly can hardly believe that I had done. Photography and artistic composition in pictures comes naturally to me. I can look at a scenic place or an item of interest and, in some way, just kinda know which angles to try. I obviously have my share of deleted pics, hehe, but I usually end up with good ones before I have to snap too many. It is something that could be a positive in the future, hehe but as Karen said, there is also the starving artist aspect of it...but it is worth it :).

I also appreciate the kind words, and also being there for me as well. I often find myself doubting how much good I might really be doing, but then I get a situation where I really see the effects in someones life...and that is enough for me to keep going.


Christian

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 7/22/2010 5:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Christian,

I believe that I posted once using photobucket with a url. I don't remember if it worked. There is a way to do it under new topic or post reply, but it didn't work for me. It may work for you. I will try to post something. If I can remember. This old mind is going to the pits. lol... Fibrofog I call it. lol...

It looks like it is going to be a nice day here today. Not too hot. I have grocery shopping to do of course. But it will get me out.

I hope that you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18743
   Posted 7/23/2010 2:29 AM (GMT -7)   
for christian. tongue tongue tongue tongue scool scool scool smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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