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THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/26/2010 12:25 AM (GMT -7)   
hi all.
 
had my first counselling session in many, many yrs. he is a social worker. i am happy with his style. will be seeing him weekly for a bit. i thought that after so long and after helping many many others that i know deserve some help. the melatonin is keeping me in a deeper sleep, and today i woke much more refreshed. had a big day today, a lot of errands, etc. have not heard from the lady, i am not sure where it is going, and or if we have a future. jamie, ps i'm tired.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


myjoy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 7/26/2010 4:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Glad you are sleeping better. It's great when a person can find a good counselor. The one I have right now is awesome too.

Also, give the lady a call. :)


DX fibromyalgia 2007, osteoarthritis, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.

fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/26/2010 6:06 AM (GMT -7)   
sending a text. had enough. she is not fighting for me.
@#$% it!! too much going on. i've had enough!! really have. i wish the world would stop so i can get off!!



:-( JAMIE.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 7/26/2010 8:37:29 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 7/26/2010 7:34 AM (GMT -7)   
I am trying to figure out why this post is so wide, I will try to correct it.
 
Hugs, Karen

Jamie, I took your aarrgghh!!  out and it went back to normal.  I am sorry that you are struggling so.  Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Hugs, again, Karen


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 7/26/2010 8:38:33 AM (GMT-6)


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/26/2010 4:01 PM (GMT -7)   
THX KAREN. JAMIE. APOLOGIES, JUST NOT COPING. JAMIE.
 
cry   cry cry cry cry cry
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 7/26/2010 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Jamie,
 
I understand.  Things are challenging for me right now too.  This weather has been so hot and I can't function in it.  We are always suppose to get a cool day and then it changes.  That is par for the course here, but I am sick of heat and humidity. 
 
I hope that things get better for you.  Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Hugs, Karen
 
Where is Siobhan today???
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/26/2010 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
thx karen. siobhan. have no idea. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/27/2010 2:27 AM (GMT -7)   
i am calling it off with the lady. severly depressed, very disappointed and sadly a tad angry and jaded. jamie :-(
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 7/27/2010 6:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Jamie,

I am sorry. Is this permanent, or just temporary? I hope that things work out for you. You are such a sweet guy. Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/27/2010 5:28 PM (GMT -7)   
will see her fri-need to know what she wants, and where we are at. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/28/2010 5:43 PM (GMT -7)   
yep to that!!! jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 7/30/2010 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Jamiee: Whatever the answer is with you and your lady I am simply hoping for the best for you. I have seen how much you have done for her and put into your relationship. I know its important to not just throw that away, but I would love to see a special someone doing all kinds of special things for you as well. You are such a caring individual and you deserve this.

Perhaps this is something you could also sort through with your counselor. I am so glad that you felt comfortable with him. I know how important this is to you.

Cass

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/31/2010 12:46 AM (GMT -7)   
yeah cass i will be. took some advice from my sis, actually asked her if i should meet up last fri. my sis said i have done more than enough, thus i am awaiting for her to visit/contact me. nothing in 3 weeks. i did not go. if she is afraid to fight for me and stand up as a women then...............................

jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 7/31/2010 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Jamie,

Maybe she is just afraid. Afraid to make the first move. Idk, I just hate to see this relationship go down the tubes. hang in there mate.

Know we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 7/31/2010 8:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Jamie: How are you doing today? I'm hoping it was better for you.
Cass

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 7/31/2010 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
crap actually. avoidanced coped badly and blew some serious coin. very depressed. i don't give a crap at this point. sorry for the depressive affect, but this is where i am at. bob has ditched my neighbour and me totally so he can go and @#$% himself. lady was at my venue fri, 2minute walk, so her carer could have popped by with her. either all in or nothing, that's how i operate, she needs to stand up for herself, not just for her but for me as well. sorry, jamie :-(
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 8/1/2010 2:18 AM (GMT -7)   
i no longer care. :-(
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 8/1/2010 2:27 AM (GMT -7)   
i am hating life, i don't want to be here anymore.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 8/1/2010 5:07 AM (GMT -7)   
wrote a lot of negative stuff. thrown them on the floor. weather real bad, did not relize that buttons was outside shivering on the chair, that's how stuffed up i am. counsellor in the morn, steve will loan me some coin, for the session and diabetic supplies. sugars still stuffed, diabetes consultant worried. insulin increased. i may need to go to hospital. i am all over the shop. will advise. thx 4 your care and suppoert guys, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 8/1/2010 8:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Jamie,

Know that I am thinking about you. Send me an email if you want to.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 8/1/2010 10:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Jamie: I'm sorry that everything has become so incredibly hard for you. I know there are no magic words that can just bring you out of this, but please keep in mind that you are actually the most resilient (sp?) person that I have had the honor to chat with. You are always in tune with your body and feelings and when difficult times arise you take care of yourself and get the help that you need. I already see you doing this. So please be patient and kind to yourself and do whatever it takes to get well again.

On May 8, 2009 (to be exact), I posted about how I was "slipping so far back into that deep black hole" and was "losing my will and ambition to fight out of it." I received some very thoughtful and caring advice from so many people. It meant so much to me that I printed and saved it and would like to pass some of it onto you now. Here goes:

1) From PSA.Delhi: "Please take care of yourself. Don't loose your will. Have you heard of this quote which one of our members adorns in her signature? Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall... "

"Defeat is not when you fall. It is when you refuse to get up. So don't let that ever happen to you." "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."

"Take care and don't think about the coward way of quitting."

2) Kitt: "Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make you feel fearful or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense."

"If you get some days where you can't quite make it, give yourself a break if you can. You probably need some rest right about now."

"Staying in the moment will help you get through each day, and I believe in you. Remember you have a right to your feelings and you are afraid right now but believe...........if you believe you will make it through it will happen."

"Be so very proud of your accomplishments but for now do take some time for you. Do little things to help you feel better."

..I am sending all the best wishes and hugs possible to you right now, Jamie. Please take good care of yourself and do whatever it takes to slowly put yourself back together again!

Cass

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 8/1/2010 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
thx very much cass, siobhan, karen. e-mails sent. better, not 100% but a tad better. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 8/1/2010 6:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I am glad that you are feeling better, even if it is only a tad. That is something. Keep posting when you feel up to it. Take care,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 8/1/2010 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   
With depression, a "tad" is still a positive move in the right direction. Hang in there Jamie. Don't try to do too much. Just take it easy and get as much rest as you can.

Cass

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 8/1/2010 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
will do. counselling is slowly helping. found a good one. i have stopped punishing myself. will rest. thx heaps my dear friends, jamie. got the doc wed. will chat. have a pleasant day. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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