Exhausted and Depressed!

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faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 8/1/2010 11:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone~
I had to get my computer fixed because my gf tripped over the wire and it hit the floor.  The med that I am taking at night is somewhat working.  I increased my 3/4mgs on Friday night and I slept pretty good, better than I was you could say.  As long as I am ready to go to sleep I am in bed because it affects you within 5 minutes.  I havent had to get up in the night yet, I dont have anyone to help me out of bed so I have to plan on once I get ready for bed, everything I need is there.  I havent had to go to the bathroom yet, that will be interesting.
 
They finally found the gas leak that I have been complaining about for 6 months.  It was a serious leak outside so they had to bulldoze the ground and cut out the sidewalk to replace the line that was leaking.  Columbia gas was here from 3pm until 10pm working.  It was quite interesting to watch.  My gf wanted my to go out with her but I chose to stay and watch.  Guess I was a party pooper, I havent felt social lately.
 
My gf is still here and it has been hard.  I am trying to keep cool but she wants to make excuses for everybody that is hurting her and it is really getting to me.  I have even yelled at her a couple times because I feel like I am hitting my head against the wall.
 
I came inside today after trying to put a pool up because I felt dizzy and out of sorts.  When I got out of the shower I had two black eyes!  I am not sure what is going on so I am going to call my hematologist tomorrow.  I am hoping that my counts are ok, but this is really weird.  I will let you know what happens.

" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 8/1/2010 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Teresa,
 
I am sorry to hear about your black eyes.  I hope that you get this straightened out soon.  It sounds worrisome, but hopefully the doctor can help you.
 
How long is your friend going to stay?  She has been there quite a while now.  I hope it isn't too stressful for you.  Please think of you first in this situation.  I know that you want to help her, but it sounds like this is wearing on you.  So do think of you.
 
I hope that you feel better soon.  Did you say that you got your computer fixed?  Or are you using another one?  I hope that you got yours fixed so that you can come here when you need to.
 
Do take care, Keep us posted on how you are doing.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 8/6/2010 11:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys~
I will see my doctor hopefully after I see my neurologist.  The drug I am taking is starting to work as I am really disoriented shortly after taking it.  I can understand why they say to be in bed when you take it.  I could not imagine taking it and leaving the house, WOW.  Anyway, that is at least going ok so far.  My gf has no idea of what she is doing, it is a little frustrating because I feel like I am beating my head against the wall everytime I try to talk to her.  I guess you could say that I am trying to show her tough love and it is hard because I care about her.  I am really strict with chores and such.
 
The bruising under my eyes has not gone away so I will show them to my doc next week.  I just as so tired of being tired!
 
I will keep you updated

" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 8/6/2010 12:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Teresa,
 
I am so happy that your medication is starting to work for you.  I take it that you take it at bedtime.  Wow, feeling disoriented, how long does that last?   I hope not too long.  As that could be scarey to some. 
 
Don't let your friend drain you.  You are a good person for sticking with this.  Not everybody could handle having somebody around 24/7.  I am not one for that.  I like being alone too much.  But it can be nice to have some company from time to time.  I hope it all works out.  I hope that you can help her. 
 
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.   Anything happening with the vns?  Let me know.
 
Take care,
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 8/7/2010 6:47 PM (GMT -7)   
keep positive teresa. glad things are improving for you. here for you.

the mad professor

-jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 8/10/2010 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone~
I finally told my friend that she needed to make a decision by tomorrow morning or she would have to leave.  I dont want her too but I feel that if I dont give her anymore support that maybe she will make the right choice for her and her son.  I told her that sometimes we have to make tough decisions and most of us dont have 2 months to make them.  I talked with her about my past relationship that will always be the most significant thing in my life.  I even shared a few cards and photos with her to show her how tough decisions are.  Then I assured her that the decisions we make are not always the right ones but you eventually learn from them, sometimes even to late.
 
My depression has somewhat subsided and I am feeling more like me.  My cat Vegas is still sick and I dont think that she will make it much longer.  I wish things that I love were taken better care of and that I would understand that they may disappear at any given time. For all the lessions I have learned, I am still trying to understand the ones that I never understood.  It comes down to this, act positively from your lessons and never question anyone but yourself when you make a mistake.
 
Well I just wanted to touch base and let you know I am doing ok.

" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 8/10/2010 5:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Teresa,
 
I am glad that you told your friend that.  It is time for her to make some decisions for herself and her son.  You did the right thing, imo. 
 
We do learn lessons from our past.  And even if they aren't good experiences, we still learn.  I think it gives us character in the long run.  Like I say, even if they weren't so nice.  We live and we learn. 
 
I am glad that your depression is subsiding.  Keep taking care of yourself and you will do fine.  One day at a time is all that we can do and I think that the sooner we learn that, the more free we are. 
 
Take care Teresa,
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 8/10/2010 7:16 PM (GMT -7)   
good work. with compassion, jamie.

aka, the mad professor.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 8/24/2010 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone~
My computer is once again broken and I had overdue library books so I thought I would take a minute to catch you up.......
My friend is still with me and things have gotten really bad!  I have had the police to my house and my nerves are about shot.  I am still taking my zyrem at night and it is a very scary med!!!!!  However, I do sleep a little better through all this stuff.   My son starts school tomorrow and another year without him.  I am going to have to fight his father for residence for next school year, I guess he feels that I am not a good mother and my son should not be with me fulltime.
 
My life is just really screwed up and there are so many things in my life now that really have gotten to me and I have once again considered hospitalization.
 
I actually cried myself to sleep the other night because I realized that the few last months I have taken care of everyone but me and I am so tired!!!!
 
Sorry so much doom and gloom but welcome to my world.

" We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."
Luciano de Crescenzo


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 8/24/2010 1:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Teresa,
 
I don't understand why your friend has been staying with you for such a long time, it has been a couple of months now hasn't it?  shakehead    That would truly get on my nerves.  But I am a really private person too and don't handle company that well.  But you are going to have to say something to her and get her to leave if it is bothering you.  Why were the cops at your place?  Was it because of her?  This seems kind of toxic to me.  I wonder if it is healthy for you or not. 
 
Do keep us posted on how things are going for you.  I hope that things get better and that you are feeling well soon.  Let me know how you are.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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