Down alot. I feel stuck here! Always sleepy

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momof4andahalf
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/6/2010 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
confused  
I'm the new kid so try to bear with me. I am 30 years old and was married to an abuser for 10 years. I left him in 2006 and lived as a single mom with my little boy up until 6 months ago when I remarried. He has custody of his 3 kids so I went from being a single mom of 1 to pretty much a single mom of 5 (if you include new hubby). These are small children I'm talking about. I love them dearly but its alot to get use to. I feel bad about saying that cry   but it's true. This wonderful romantic man I married turned into this very lazy sloth as soon as we said I do. We now work 2 diffrent shifts so I never see him and when I do all he wants to do is sleep. I am constantly cleaning up after the 4 kids and never have time to sit. EVER! Its alot to get use to. On top of all that I am trying to get use to being married again but this time to someone who acts like I don't exsist. He never compliments me and is constantly yelling at me but most importantly the kids. I'm worried about my son. He is 7 and seems so unhappy. His entire disposition has changed since my husband and I got married. I don't know what to do. I just feel so depressed. I stay tired no matter how much sleep I get. Does that make any sense? My religous beliefs tells me I'm suppose to stay but my depression is getting worse an worse

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 8/6/2010 2:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,
 
Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum.  I am so glad that you have decided to join us.  And I hope that we can help you some.  Have you tried talking to him?  Letting him know that he at least needs to pick up after himself.  And that you would appreciate a little help with the children?  I think it would be a good idea to try to express yourself.  If you can't do it on your own, how about couples counseling?  You need to do something to help the children most of all and that comes from the actions of the adults.  So you will need to start with you and him.  Especially if he is getting verbally abusive.  It is strange how some people can change after they get married.  But being in a relationship like this it is give and take on both sides.  And he needs to be helping you.  And if he is getting verbally abusive, that needs to be addresed, the children are going to suffer the most from this and it sounds like your son already is.  So think about the couples counseling and maybe some counseling for yourself for support and direction.  I hope that this helps some.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Mr.lost01
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 8/6/2010 2:45 PM (GMT -7)   
You most likely don't want to really hear what a nineteen year old has to say on a topic like this. But ill make a post any way take it or leave it that's your desition. You said quote''This wonderful romantic man I married turned into this very lazy sloth as soon as we said I do'' and quote ''We now work 2 diffrent shifts so I never see him and when I do all he wants to do is sleep.'' I could be totaly wrong but It sounds to me that he sleeps a lot due to his family life and also his job. This Most likely stress just putting that out there. In relationship both sides need to see what they other one is feeling. You need to find a time when you two can sit down and talk. Maybe a weekend or something. As for the kids you need to talk to them. Come right out and ask them what they are feeling and what they would like to see happen. I'm not expert and in fact I have never been in a relaionship. However sometimes people who you don't think the other person can help. The other person can End up make all the difference. Make sure to some how make sometime for your self as well that's important!

Just trying to help good good luck

From: An outsider looking in :D

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 8/7/2010 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   
communication is key. both of you need to do this without the little ones. a good thing to try is the 5 minutes you and the 5 minutes me teqniche. toss a coin to see who starts, then the person who starts speaks there peice, without any interuption, then the other does their peice. in this both people are respected via 'actually' listening to each other, thus at the end you will know how each other feels about what was said. you can make it a topic or it can be open. no interuptions though. it works. all the best.

the mad professor

-jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

momof4andahalf
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/9/2010 5:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your help everyone! I will give these suggestions a try.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 8/10/2010 2:35 AM (GMT -7)   
good, let me know. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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