I just can't relax

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depressedaact
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/13/2010 1:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been depressed for more than a month and under a lot of stress. May be this is a very minor issue compare to others but it is like the end of the world for me. I am a college student that suppose to graduate after a week. The thing is that I am taking one class as a core requirement, after that I am done with college. If I pass the course, life just goes on. However, I am failing the course right now, I just don't know what to do, I can't tell my dad to pay for my tuition any more, and now I have to no money to pay for myself. Also, I really don't want to be not graduating because of just one class. I just can't, my parents expect me to graduate after a week, I don't want to disappoint them, I can't disappoint them. And now I am too freak out to even check the score for the last exam, every time I try to do that I think I almost got panic attack. I really don't know what can I do now, I am too scared to do a thing. I can't get out of this thought, I keep telling myself "you are dying, you are dying because you are to lazy to study!!!!" Actually, I blame myself all the time, and in my mind I keep telling myself to work every second, but my body just do the opposite thing. So I blame and force myself the same time, but the more I think this way, I just do everything I can to avoid like sleeping the whole day and watch tv to stop thinking. It's like a bad cycle that torturing me for a month, I think I am going crazy, I can't stand it anymore!!!!!!!

depressedaact
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/13/2010 12:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for replying me, support and advice are really what I need, and you really give me strength. By the way, I am studying in US, I always try to express my feeling to someone, it just no one seems to be a right choice for me. I can't tell my parents because they will start worrying and being disappointed. Can't tell me friends since my score is too low to let them think I am stupid. And I just don't have the courage to go for the doctor.sigh. Once I start thinking about this course, I just can't control to think my life sucks. And I keep thinking about it even I was dreaming. I just want to stop this whole thing, part of my brain say you still have chance to pass it, and part of it say no way it is impossible. No matter what, thanks for giving me support and advice, I really need to know that there is someone I can talk to in the world and they care about my problems. xoxo Florence

lady4tigers
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 8/13/2010 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I know it's scary to tell anyone that your struggling with depression, but believe me your doctor is about the best person to talk with about it. They know it's a medical condition and won't judge you for it. I would suggest a college counselor too if you don't have one already. They're very understanding and can help you through it. Plus, they're usually free for students. Both counselors and doctors have patient confidentiality too, so what ever you talk about is just between you and them (as long as you don't threaten harm). I was in your situation, being depressed in college. I didn't go to my doctor or counselor about it and i ended up withdrawing half way through a semester b/c i convinced myself i couldn't deal with school. You're so close and i know you can finish. And remember, the people of this forum are here to support you and listen when you need us.

I'm rooting for your success!
Lady4tigers

depressedaact
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/16/2010 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for giving me so much support and advice, it is really useful and valuable to me. For me, the most stressful thing is that i know i am finishing but just one class screw the whole things up. If I got one or two more semester, I would just think it is fine cause I still have time to catch up. But when you almost done and you tell the world about, it feels horrible when you actually got stuck and messed up. My plans screw, my parents expectation screw, it just everything i plan or did screw. Rationally, i always tell myself, your problem is just so minor compare to others and you still have chance. But I just can't control myself thinking "you are failing the class, you are failing the class and you can't graduate and you can't face your parents". This thinking goes through my mind every second which really really torture me.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 8/17/2010 8:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Youv'e got to learn to control your though process.  And it can be done.  Try to occupy your mind.  Find things to do to take your mind off of your situation.  Seeing a counselor would help.  They are professionals and they can teach you how to do this.  Or find a good book on depression and read it.  We can get caught up in thinking about the same thing over and over.  It is no fun I know.  But there is help.  Writing here helps too.
 
Best wishes to you.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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