I don't trust myself alone

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jamie9393
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/13/2010 9:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Just a quick background, im a 17 year old male who lives in new zealand, and my girlfriend is 16 years old, and lives a 3 hour flight away, in Australia. Now we see each other for like 1-2weeks every 2months.
We've been together for one year on the 30th of August, and even though im only 17, i know im in love, and i know this girl is the one for me.

Well anyway, she lately has been thinking that i dont want to see her, because i can't get over to Australia because me and my family just dont have the money right now.. and ive tried saying this to her, but her insecurites make her think I just don't love her, and now she's tweeted and txted me that 'its over' and 'i need to talk to you tomorrow'

I'm afraid to live life without her, I don't have the strength to, she is all that I live for anymore.

It's 4:06am, ill post some more when i wake up

Jamie

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 8/13/2010 9:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Jamie,
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Please try to understand that this is very common with 16 year olds. They start to get nervous. Break up for a week, realize that it was just them being silly & get back together with their bf. I know you're going through a ridiculous amount of stress right not & totally understand you wanting to give up. But please, please, please try to hold on to the tiniest bit of hope. Even though she said "it's over" she still wrote again & said she really wants to talk to you. I think that means something. Maybe she just needs a couple weeks to sort things out for herself. idk. I just remember what it was like when I was that age & what it was like for my students back when I taught secondary school.

People are trying to figure themselves out. They're trying to be an adult & a child all at once. They've got all these huge levels of hormones that they never had before & will never have again and it all just seems so confusing sometimes. Just be steady with her. Don't freak out & tell her that you can't live without her -- that almost always backfires. Just let her know how you feel & that you really want to see her. Do you have a webcam? I don't know how much they cost in Australia, but I know they are like $20 here in the US. Sometimes being able to see someone, even if you can't touch them, can make a big difference. Send her a homemade card through the post -- girls LOVE that kind of stuff. I know you're good at writing poems -- maybe if you can write her a poem about how good she makes you feel & how beautiful she is, etc. & email it to her that would also give her some reassurance that you do care.

Relationships are a lot of work. But if you think this girl is worth the sacrifice, go for it! I will say that sometimes it's hard to know what you want for the rest of your life at age 17, but I've also known some people who married young & are still going strong at their 25 year anniversary. My grandparents met at 17 & they were married for over 50 years until my gpa died. So it is possible, but it's a lot of work & a lot of worry. But if the benefits outweigh those things, then let the girl know you really care. :)

prayers & warm wishes,
frances

vballplayingirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 8/13/2010 10:02 AM (GMT -7)   
I can sympathize with the way your feeling and the way your girlfriend is feeling and acting...I'm 20y/o female, so what Frances said is absolutely true. Girls that age...even up to my age are insecure about things like that, we automatically jump to wild and crazy conclusions that absolutely aren't true, just because we assume the worst. It's like, how we're wired at that age...and apparently I still am =P Keep positive, she wants to talk to you--always a good thing. Us girls, we love to talk things through. It helps us. So even if it seems like she's not listening or liking what you say when you talk to her, don't assume she wants to call it quits. Try to help her understand in any way you can. We need a lot of reassurance about things like being seperated for an extended period of time. It's our insecurities about ourselves at it's finest is the way it looks to me...just try and explain the situation to her (calmly) and I'm sure she'll want to work through it with you.

Good luck!

--Che
"Dreams don't always have to exist while the sun's down
and your eyes are shut."
-Alex Gaskarth

jamie9393
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/13/2010 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey guys, just woke up from a sleep deprived night.

Thanks for the replies, they mean more than the world :)

Just to clear it up, the txt she sent was 'im not sure if i can handle this anymore... ill talk to you about it tomorrow'

And yeah, even though we're only young, i know that i really love her, and she really was the one.
I'm afraid that I won't have the mental drive to carry on without her in my life :(

Thanks so much
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