think I am going crazy

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abyss looked back
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/13/2010 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   
My relationship is over I think and I am looking at being a single mom again but this time with two kids . I am in love with this man but he has issues he has promissed to get help for and then not done it over and over. I go from resolve and calm and acceptance that its over, to extream greif and the feeling that I am drowning and trying to reason and having hope some how we can make it work. I cant eat or sleep and he seems to be just fine and that makes it worse. I wish I could turn it off and stop feeling too. I have a long history of depression and do not have meds right now because I don't have the money for it. If someone can give me suggestions on how to not care so much to try and keep myself more even it would be great.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 8/13/2010 8:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi abyss looked back,
 
Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum.  Yes men seem to be able to emotionally detatch much easier than women.  We just seem to dwell on the issue and frankly I don't know if that gets us anywhere.  But hurt more... 
 
It is time to stay strong for your children.  You want to be able to take proper care of them through this so you do have to eat and get rest and try to get by.
 
 
this is a free site that has helped some of the people on the forum.  Maybe it will help you. I am not sure. 
 
You should be able to get medicaid if you two split up, so you will be able to get counseling.  It might be time to think of things like that and be prepared.  Though I hope that your relationship can work out. But you now have to really think hard for the children.  We will be here to help you.
 
Hugs, Karen
 
 
 
 
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

wearyRAsufferer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2323
   Posted 8/14/2010 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi abyss- sorry you are feeling so low. What I have found in my lifetime is men a are good at looking like things aren't bothering them when really they are. They also are more apt to go out and try and make themselves feel better than we women are. A break up happens...they go out with their friends and yuck it up, we feel so out of sorts we stay home and cry....
If it's the best thing that you have split then give it some time. Time really heals all wounds. Try and force yourself to go out and get your mind off things. I wish you all the best.

abyss looked back
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/14/2010 8:48 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks getting by I have started applying for help. If nothing else I need to be on my meds just to help even me out alittle so my kids don't start thinking mommy is nuts. My kids are my first priority and that is the only reason why I am reaching out for help. I don't love myself enough to do anything for me really I guess thats why when something happens to have gone right for me by chance and gets taken away I fall apart like I do. thank you for the web site I will try anything at this point. I have a couples counceling appointment on tuesday and one of my own on thursday. We are trying to figure out what we should do at this point. Keep our family together and go to therapy or split the family and do therapy or just call it quits. And I cant think clearly enough to make up my mind and he isn't in touch with his emotions at all so I think we need an outsider to guide us . Have you known anyone to slit up and go to therapy and still have it work cuz I haven't? Thanks for listening

abyss looked back
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/14/2010 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks weary- I sometimes think that I see him looking at me like he wants to hug me cuz he sees how affected I am. It makes it really hard because we still live together and so I see him all the time and all he does is joke and play around with his 18 year old son who has recently decided that our relatinship is his buisness and the last fight he decided to jump in and say very hurtful things to me so his son and I haven't made eye contact for almost a week. I wont look at him because I am so disgusted with his behavior and it was a betrayal because up until he was 18 he was one of my best friends. I cant tell if he is acting like a puppy with its tail between its legs or if he hates me and I dont know what changed but two months before this last blow up he kept saying things like 'I could get you kicked out if I wanted to.' anyways sorry for that rant. I know break ups happen but what bothers me is that he has been dad to my son for half of his life and now that he is in this state of confusion he wont look at or speak to my son and I am watching my son be abandoned by the second man in his life. That is really hard to handle and I wont do this again if we cant make it work. I think its better that I am his mom and dad than have men in and out ever several years right? Because I waited four years after my sons father left before I even let someone get close to my son because I wanted to protect him. I am starting to think men cant be trusted they will always leave. Thanks again

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 8/14/2010 9:25 AM (GMT -7)   

Don't give up hope, if nothing else, the counseling could help you remain friends.  If it comes to that.  Take one day at a time.  This is so very important. Because worrying about this only causes more stress which in turn makes you more depressed. 

I am so happy that you two are going to couples counseling and that you are also going on your own.  This is very important and can make all the difference in the world.  It gives you faith that you are doing the right things for all concerned. 

Do start doing some nice things for yourself.  Even if it is just a bubble bath.  You are a good person.  You love your son.  You see what this is doing to him and you want to protect him.  That is so heartwarming for me.  I thank you for that.  It makes me feel good.  And I know that you are a good person.  Keep trying, mostly take this one day at a time.  Don't make any really lifechanging decisions when you aren't thinking straight, go over them with your counselor and here.  We will stand behind you with this.  Know that we all care. 

You are going through a healing process in the midst of all this turmoil. But the healing will win out because you are really trying hard.  Know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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