Welcome to the depression forum. First of all I have to let you know that we can't go into discussions of suicide or illegal drugs. So I may have to edit your post. But I see the problem and I hope that we can help you.
I am glad that you are feeling somewhat better but worried that you are going to fall back into depression by not taking your medications. I would get to the bottom of the nausea too. You shouldn't be feeling this way all of the time. Talk to your doctor about it.
I hope that you feel better by venting. This is a good place to be albe to do that. Writing things down often helps us. Know that everybody here cares about you.
Take care, keep posting.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies