I need help getting help

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 1/26/2005 5:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi.  I'm new here.  I've been struggling with this since I can remember.  I was never a happy kid and I can remember being 6 years old and worrying about how I was going to pay for college and that I'd never find someone who would marry me.  I was also very quiet and shy and I remember watching my brother talk to my parents and going to my room crying because I couldn't think of anything to say. 
I'm 26 now and in the past 5 or 6 years it's gotten progressively worse.  It's to the point now where I'm crying every day and thinking about killing myself, although I know I could never go through with it because I know what it would do to my family. 
I was a 4.0 student until I dropped out of college my junior year and moved back home.  I then got a job that I quit about a year ago because I couldn't handle the stress  and I felt like everyone hated me there.  I'm terrified of the thought of getting another job or going back to school.  I feel like there's nothing I can do and I'll be living off of my parents for the rest of my life.  They're both retired and I'm sure they don't want me here.  I don't know how much longer I can stay here and the worst part is that nobody knows I've been dealing with depression my entire life.  I've been afraid to tell my friends because I don't want them to stop talking to me.  I'm also embarrassed about this and I don't really want them to know.  I'm afraid to tell my parents too because I don't have insurance and can't afford therapy or medication and I'm afraid they'll feel obligated to pay for it.  I don't want to be any more of a burden to them than I already am.  I'm finally to the point where I know I need to get help before anything bad happens but I don't know what to do.  Does anyone know of any free or low cost options?  I live in the Seattle area.

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/26/2005 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
dear gretchen,

most large cities have counseling centers or clinics for people who cannot afford or do not have insurance- i would look in your yellow pages or try googeling it i am sure there is something in Seattle it might take a little research but you will find one- you should not be embarassed about your depression I have been suffering from depression for a while now i think a couple of years and I just went to a doctor this week to talk about it - i am feeling a lot more hopeful and i have made therapy appointments too you do not have to tell your parents or friends at this point if you do not want to you just need to get some help! You are not alone, I hope you realize that! I hope that you will make some phone calls and get some help because you deserve it. I was embarassed to tell anyone about my depression and that is why it took me so long to see a psychiatrist but now i wish i had gone sooner. You can do it! :-)
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