Remarried but missing my ex abusive husband. Why?

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momof4andahalf
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/23/2010 7:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Ok i know this doesnt make any sense. But I was married to my exhusband for 10 years. He became physically abusive at the 6 year mark when our only child was born. I think he was jealous of the attention the baby was getting. After 3 years of dealing with it and him refusing to get help i took my child and left. That was 4 years ago. Last year I remarried a man that has never laid a hand on me (that would take to much physical labor but thats another post for another day). But here lately for some reason I find myself missing him alot. He was my highschool sweet heart and the the first man i ever loved. I only have 1 child (that is mine by birth.) and he was my "first" I am hoping that those ties are what is making me miss him. He is also remarried and they seem so happy together. He was my best friend. I really miss my friend. But we have both moved on with other people. What's wrong with me?

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35081
   Posted 8/23/2010 9:20 AM (GMT -6)   
I think we get comfortable with situations, even if they are not good. That is probably why you miss him. But you don't deserve the abuse. So stay clear of him. Please do this for yourself. You will get over the lonliness and you will remain strong.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Justme84
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/24/2010 8:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi!
I understand you must feel there's something wrong with you, but as you said, he's the father of your child, your first love and "first" other person too... So I think I'd miss that person too. However, Karen is right and you should stay clear of someone who abused you!

Sometimes I find it useful to write a pretend letter to someone if I'm feeling a certain way but can't actually talk to them. Maybe try that, but don't send it, rip it up, and get rid of it.

fruelien
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/25/2010 12:37 AM (GMT -6)   
I have the exact same problem...if anyone can help me understand why...please do!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 35081
   Posted 8/25/2010 9:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Fruelien,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am sorry that you are going through this situation. I was thinking though if you start your own thread, you will most likely get advice to you. Tagging onto another thread often gets missed. So if you feel like it, please start a new thread with your own topic.

I hope that things get better for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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