Confused Cant Explain In Subject

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jessica17
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/24/2010 6:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Basically This Is The Story I HaveBeen With My Boyfriend For Almost 3 Years Now And Had A Baby With Him. I Have Been Treated Like I Was Last On The List And Been Crushed And BasicallyMentally Abused. Except He Did Not Mean To Abuse Me And I KNOW He Did Not Mean To. But I Cant Get Past This. And I Know He LovesMe But Im Losing My Love For Him QUICKLY And I Think I Love My Best Friend (Wich Is A Girl) But I KNOW She Has No Clue And I Feel She Will Never Love Me Like I Love Her. Me And My Best Friend Were Close Ever Sense We Met But Then I Moved And Got Pregnant And Grew Apart And I Missed Her Dearly. We Finally Started Talking Again And This Is How I Start To Feel. I Just Dont Know What To Do Anymore about Any Of This I Need Change Some Where Some How.

vballplayingirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 8/24/2010 7:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Jessica17,

The father of your child should not be treating you like your the last kid getting picked for kickball. Pardon the expression, but he should be treating you with respect instead of putting you down. Mentally abusing someone is just as serious and any other type of abuse--they get inside your head and change the way you feel and think...it sucks. And no matter how many times you tell yourself he didn't mean to do it--there's a problem with him that he needs to deal with too. Something is causing him to respond to you like he is and I strongly feel like you should get to the bottom of that or get away from the situation. Abuse is serious, don't pretend it's not happening if it is.

Keep your best friend close in a time like this when you obviously need someone to stick by you and be there for you. I think with all the things your dealing with concerning the boyfriend, it's probably best you take some time and sort out your feelings for everyone before jumping on possible leads and new relationships.

If you have family or other friends that you trust, bring these feelings up to them. No one should be alone and feeling the way you are right now. We're here for you as well, but in these situations I feel it's always best to have someone there for you physically too. Honestly it sounds like you need some personal time to yourself to sort through what's going on in your head. I think it would help you tremendously.

Keep posting, you aren't alone!

--Che
"Dreams don't always have to exist while the sun's down
and your eyes are shut."
-Alex Gaskarth

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40593
   Posted 8/25/2010 7:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jessica,

I think Che has given you some very good advice. Emotional abuse leaves emotional scars. and it is hard to get past that. So you need to talk to people that support you. Have you thought about counseling? That is a good form of support for you. Think about it.

And welcome to the forum!!!

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

jessica17
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/25/2010 8:53 AM (GMT -7)   
That Is Good Advice Thank You And With My Boyfriend Some Of The Emotional Abuse Is Of Course With How I Look When I Got Pregnant I Gained 100 Ibs I Was 140 Before I Got Pregnant And Then He Started Never Telling Me I Was Pretty Checking Out Girls And Sending Messages To Girls On Dating Sites He Said That the Messages  Did Not Mean Anything And He Was Just Playing Around I Have Done That Also Before But I Never Tried To Hide It From Him And He Did Just That Tried To Hide It From Me. So Then I Started Asking ?s And Of Course NONE Of It Was What I Wanted To Hear So Basically I Will NEVER Look Like The Girl he Wants Me To Look Like Unless I Got Plastic Surgery I Mean Its Not Only My wieght Thats A Problem Pretty Much The ONLY Thing He Likes about How I Look Is My Face And That I Have Big Boobs. I Know I Asked Him But I Feel Because He Loves Me I Should Be Perfect And The Pritest Thing Ever Wether I Really Am Or Not Because Loves Me I Should Be Because Thats How I Feel about Him. When We First Met I Thought He Looked Old But Now That I Love Him I Think He Is The Most Gorgouse Man Ever. And People Tell Me Well It Should Not Matter Because He Loves Me But How Can I Just Let It Go When I Know He Pretty Much Thinks Im Ugly How Can I Let Go When Im Not Comfortable With Him Anymore? I Cant Be Naked Around Him And Not Feel Like Im Being Judged Or Like He Is Looking At Me Just Wishing I Was Sombody Else....

vballplayingirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 8/25/2010 10:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Sounds like a relationship that I would not want to be in anymore if that's how he sees you. Pregnancy is a normal part of a female's life, men should realize our bodies change when pregnancy occurs. If he's messaging different women on dating sites and trying to hide things from you, it sounds like it's time for some couple's counseling maybe, or a break in the relationship. You shouldn't have to get plastic surgery or change the way you look unless it's what YOU want for yourself. When people love eachother, they don't get on dating sites and message "pretty" girls. They cherish the one they are with if it's love. My advice is couple's counseling or therapy or something...it sounds like the way your relationship is headed is not a great one. You mentioned in your first post developing feelings for someone else as well...so it seems to me that both of you need to question how committed you are to eachother now.

--Che
"Dreams don't always have to exist while the sun's down
and your eyes are shut."
-Alex Gaskarth
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