Need Relationship Advice Asap!

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DB1976
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/25/2010 3:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Well Im 22 and just recently started talking to a old friend from highschool. During our conversation we realized that both liked each other for the longest time and never opened up. But Im unemployed, have no vehicle. You may ask why is this an issue its because she has a 1 year old baby daughter. Im not sure what to do. The girl is an absolute sweetheart and I dont want to break her heart. It be such an easier decision if there wasnt a child involved.

So please anyone who has had this situation please help me! Im so confused and not sure if im ready to get in a serious relationship with a girl who has a kid. If I had a job and a car it would be an issue.

Pros:
Id have a girlfriend who is loving.
Teach me responsibility (aka the kid)
Possible father figure to a kid (which i dont think im ready for)
Cons:
Baby dad drama
Afraid that she may be after my money (but i dont think thats the case, and im ready to say to her im not the dad...)

There is alot more pros and lots more cons but im so confuse...

Please Help!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 8/25/2010 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   
This is another case of take it one day at a time.  Get to know her and the child.  Don't make any decisions right away.  Though I would be looking for a job and a vehicle, you want to have something to offer into the relationship.  Without a ride, it will be hard to take them places.  And try to call it a child, not a kid.  And especially not "the kid".  Best wishes,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

DB1976
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/25/2010 4:09 PM (GMT -7)   
That what I was thinking get to know them but if I get in a serious relationship I dont think I have whats needed to be a father figure. Its stressful. The last thing I wanna do is mislead this wonderful girl. With my lack of transportation its hard finding a job in my town... Im working towards everything to make it better for myself. But this situation came up out of the blue. I dont know maybe im just making excuses because Im scared of a serious relationship where the girl has a child.

Post Edited (DB1976) : 8/25/2010 5:38:25 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 8/26/2010 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Don't feel that you are responsible for the child. Just have fun with it. You can be his/her friend. Let the mother know that you don't want to be a father figure. Besides the real father wants to be that. If he cares, I hope that he does. Like I say, one day at a time. IF you don't know what to do, do nothing. Take care,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 8/26/2010 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
honestly if you become serious with the woman the child will look to you as a father figure. i think being a parent or a father figure or mother figure is one of the best things in life. it can start out where you wont be a father figure, but what if you get married? then the child will look up to you. it is one of the best feelings in life to, but you have to be prepared for it. for right now i would do what karen says and take it one day at a time, but spend time with the child and have fun you may just like it.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are
 
"No one really dies because they have loved. Because they love they stay in the hearts of the people they have touched so in that their memory lives on." Ghost whisperer-i know corny but this touched me deep down and i see so much truth in it.
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