Help I am ruining my relationship!

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/30/2010 8:19 PM (GMT -6)   
I need help I am ruining my relationship with the one I love. Sine my mom died last year I have not really cared much for sex and my fiancé wants a more physical relationship. I am so depressed lately and unhappy and I have no idea what the hell is going on with my body. I went to the doc they put me on Wellbutrin and its only been a week but i am pushing him so much and making him so miserable. I need help someone to talk to or anything, advice on what I can do to make this relationship stay together. I cry all the time every little thing makes me upset I get worried about everything and upset over the dumbest things I realize this but it still doesn't stop me. Does anyone have any advice?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 8/31/2010 6:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry you are having these problems. Maybe the Wellbutrin will help. Just give it a little time and keep talking to a counselor/psychiatrist type person to get past the grief from losing your mother. Go to a hospital and get into a grief support group. you have a wedding date planned? I don't understand why your fiance' is so concerned about sex - you aren't even married yet. But I am a very old-fashioned girl. I don't see where you are causing relationship problems - it seems your fiance' is not so understanding.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.
meds - fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 8/31/2010 11:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, it seems that sometimes he is not. I have no sex drive and he is wanting that physical relationship that we had before my mom died. I dont know how to get that back but i am sure trying. I am trying to stay positive.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 8/31/2010 10:36 PM (GMT -6)   
That's the right attitude to have, one day at a time and keeping positive. You've been through a terrible time with the loss of your mother--he should understand losing a family member is not something you just get over just like that.

Sounds like he needs to focus on what your going through and less on his personal needs. Focus on you and what you need now, beating yourself up over upsetting your fiance isn't right.

"Dreams don't always have to exist while the sun's down
and your eyes are shut."
-Alex Gaskarth

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2287
   Posted 9/1/2010 6:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Can you come to a middle ground? Agree on once or twice a week and force yourself without making it seem like you are? Sometimes once you get started you will find that you end up enjoying yourself. I can certainly understand you are depressed and that is depressing your sex drive and your fiancee should be more understanding. However you did say it was last year so it sounds like a hard time and he has "needs" too. If he is really being unreasonable about it and not taking your feelings in consideration- maybe it's time to end it with him. Better now before you get married. I wish you all the best. I remember when my dad who was my hero passed and a month later my husband found me crying (alone not bothering anyone in my room)he said what are you crying about? I said My dad died- I miss him! That's Over he said and turned on his heel. Should of got out of here long ago but here I am.

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 9/3/2010 5:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks I really appreciate the wise words. I am feeling a bit off I am not sure how to explain it but i feel like I am going insane. I get stressed over everything and I am not sure what to do. We are struggling financially right now and I know that most people go through tough times but I am really stressed about money and paying the bills. I want to be carefree and not worry about money and stupid little things. I feel like I am on the verge of a panic attack all the time. I have been taking Adovan but I was told by my doc that if I grow a dependency to it I can actually die from the withdrawals so I am now scared to take it. I am ranting and raving I just need some outside help.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40406
   Posted 9/3/2010 6:16 PM (GMT -6)   

I think what you need to do is focus on what it is that you want (to be carefree) and do it.  Take life one day at a time.  Relax with life.  You can do this, it is easy.  You just stop worrying.  And stay in the moment.  The now. . . .

You do have to practice this and the best way to do that is through meditation.  As you are in the now when you meditate.  You can control your thoughts too through meditation. 

There are sites on the interntet that teach you how to meditate.  It is within breathing and relaxing all your muscles.  It helps you focus.  If you want instructions with meditation and can't find it on the internet, email me and I will tell you how to practice. 

Hugs, Karen

  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 9/3/2010 6:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much. I am going to try this :) I have so much hope that I get let down a lot. I really hope this works and I can find the strength in me to let it help me. Thank you again

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