Very alone wife and mother of four.

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Late nighter
New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/1/2010 1:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I am not even sure why I am doing this, I guess hoping to talk to others who feel like me. I am 29 year old and I have been married for ten years and I have four beautiful little boys. Most people who hear you have a nice family just assume things are good and that I am fine. Not the case with me. I love my family more than anything but for some reason I am not happy really ever!! My husband works a lot and I am home alone most of the time. I grew up in a very abusive home as a child with alcoholics for parents and pretty much everyday I feel like a complete failure! I wasnt raised to know what it meant to be a good wife or mom so most of the time I feel I can't handle the stress and I get very angry. Don't worry I am not crazy and I don't and would never physically hurt my children, but I am so upset all the time and I scream a lot. I just don't want to do anything, most normal people would love spending time with their family but I don't I just find it very draining I don't enjoy myself and I can't understand why, so then I just get upset again and I shut down I don't want to talk or move I would rather stay in bed. Which obviously with kids isn't an option. I know I need help but I have no one. I wish someone was able to convince me that I'm strong enough to do this and I can be a good mom and wife the kind they deserve not the sad angry woman they see everyday. I have thought often about leaving my husband and letting him keep the kids cause I figure he could find someone better to take care of him and our boys. I know I am cometely crazy, right!! I guess I am looking for any advice or encouragement. Thanks for who ever reads this and responds any comments would be great.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 9/1/2010 4:16 AM (GMT -6)   
I have a much better answer for you than leaving your family. Please go on-line and find the closest Al-anon meetings in your area. They are scheduled everyday...somewhere. They are free, and you will find much compassion there. I, too, grew up in an alcoholic, abusive home. I understand your feelings so much. Do this for yourself - if there is a phone number listed - give that person a call before attending a meeting. That's what I did - it's been a blessing to me and my family. Just google al-anon and your state or country (if not in the US). I look forward to hearing better things from you.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.
meds - fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2285
   Posted 9/1/2010 6:14 AM (GMT -6)   
4 young boys and home alone with them all the time- oh my! Of course you find yourself sad & angry. Of course you love those little boys but you need some "ME" time! Is it possible for you to some how get some? I remember when my 3 kids were small I never got any and I felt much like you. My hisband was not supportive about it but the one time I did get "ME" time was when I went grocery shopping. I absolutely refused to bring them with me. HE had to watch them. To this day I love grocery shopping, have a friend in every dept. and it takes me 3 hrs. My youngest is 18. All the best to you- i hope you are able to find a way to get some time for yourself.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2854
   Posted 9/1/2010 8:41 AM (GMT -6)   

I know how you feel.  I was married at 20 years old, and had three kids under the age of three (two were twins) before I hit 23 years old.  My husband worked all day and for the first five years of our marriage, went from work to college every week day evening. After completing his Masters degree he announced he was going to start a PhD program. in my lifetime.  Anyway, this was before cable television, computers and the 24 hour a day cartoon channel.  I lived in a small upstairs apartment with no car.  During this time I had four major surgeries, including a complete hysterectomy.  Owie.  Anyway, the 'me time' is soooo important.  I insisted on a second car and got the kids into a twice a week church pre school.  It was amazing what those couple of days a week did for me and my kids.  I got a babysitter once a week and took a pottery class.  On weekends when the hubby was home, I took one day and visited friends.  Don't wait any longer to make time for yourself.  It's so easy to resent your life and those around you when you are overwhelmed, beaten down, and exhausted. 


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