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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/11/2010 3:28 AM (GMT -6)   


I've never talked to anyone before about my depression however I'm hurting allot and I'd like to give it a shot. My depression started nearly 3 years ago during Christmas break freshman year (I am currently a senior in high school). I'm not entirely sure what started it but my guess is this. My mother whom before this incident I worshipped I was a mommies girl through and through was sending e-mails inquiring about an institution for "troubled teens" (though I know I was not in the slightest) to send me to and had even sent in an application and gotten approved. I would not have been the first to go, to an institution such as this, of her children but rather the third. Her kids all started normal but my mother loves drama and to get that she will betray her kids. And that's what it felt like to me a dagger in my heart and I snapped. Before this point I was happy, healthy, great athlete, and the most outspoken, confident person you could meet. After this I changed and am still changed I am depressed often, un athletic, and reserved to the point of disease with little to no self-esteem. Because of this I have not had a friend in nearly 3 years and rarely speak more then a sentence or two out loud in school each day and then only when spoken too. I have never had a boyfriend, never gone to a dance, or football game. Anyways after living out that year with my mother she sent me to live with my older sister. Me and my sister did not get along at all we have and still have personality conflicts compared with no other person I’ve ever dealt with. So after a miserable year with her in a house that I originally thought was a shed when I first saw it because it was so small I moved in with my father (where I live currently). Living with him is in many ways easier then living with my mom or my sister in that he is stable and I don't need to fear being sent away, however he emotionally drains and depresses me. He calls me a pig, a ****, a *****, a psychopath, he tells me my life is going nowhere, he discourages me from doing stuff and what I do do is never good enough, he tells me that I’ll never get into college and tells me the day I turn 18 he's kicking me out, he has never once in my life said he loved me. I used to be his favorite (or at least loved) back before I snapped but since then, since I am no longer an outspoken athlete (my dad is a huge ego maniac runner) I feel he no longer cares very much for me. What is more my eldest sister has 2 sons the eldest of which (5) is a cheeky, fast runner. My dad talks about what a cheeky bugger he is and how athletic and I hate myself because I feel jealous he feels like my replacement because as my dad so plainly puts it I’m a "lost cause". So I'm just feeling really down and wanted to finally type it all out to someone. Thanks

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40391
   Posted 9/11/2010 9:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Arom,
Boy there has been a lot of uncaring parents discussed on this forum lately.  What is up with that???
I am sorry for what you are going through.  You truly don't deserve it.  I can't believe that your mother would want to send you away and that your father treats you this way.  That is horrible.
Always remember that you are one of God's creatures.  He put you on this earth for a reason.  You sound intelligent and I think you will go far, but you are going to need some help.  Have you thought about talking to a school counselor?  They can be a huge help.  I would think about it if I were you.
I am giong to list some sites that might be helpful for you.
These might help you out.  They deal with mainly teens.  All sites are free.  So check them out and let us know if they are helpful.
HUgs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18554
   Posted 9/12/2010 8:04 PM (GMT -6)   
yes, you are a unique and talented individual.
some counselling will really help you. life can suck at times, but it dosen't have 2
all of the time. wishing you well. jamie.

the mad professor.
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