Never be ashamed to ask for help. Might I suggest a naturopath and health insurance? They use all natural things for healing, and I am currently seeing one to get me off of my medicine. I take 7 or 8 pills a day which is...not good. So a naturopathic doctor is probably a good idea for you if you only want organic things in your body. I also know how you feel. I've had depression for 13 years and I've been on meds for 2 or 3. So I've had it my whole life. Whatever you do, don't turn to cutting yourself. I did and it's stupid and bad and harmful. It really makes you more depressed. I hope I can help you, but I'm only a kid so I doubt I'm that helpful. Well i hope you start to look up because I'm sure you're a wonderful, beautiful person! Also, if you're religious, you can pray away stress/despair. Best wishes to you!