Can't hang on any longer

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almostgone
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/16/2005 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so confused.Can't go on like this.Where did the real me go?So afraid if I ask for help or try to make a friend; they will turn away when I tell of problems.I tried to get help.almost gone

Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 2/17/2005 1:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there, the real you is always there . if you meet someone you don't have to talk about your own problems you can talk about anything else if you want. you problems become bigger the more you spend time worrying about them. if there is something good you can do about your problems then do it don't hesistate!

Remember deppresion has many causes, you can't simply attribute it to certain problems you had , those problems were triggers to make deppresion come to the surface but they propably aren't the cause. causes of deppresion is a big subject by itself , in some cases you just might have a family dentansy to be depresed for instance.

Jeannette
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2004
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/17/2005 5:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi almostgone: For years I was depressed and had social anxiety disorder (in fact I still do but it's getting better). I did a good job of blending in with others for a long time but then there came a point where I started to withdraw from my friends. If I was asked out I would make some excuse not to go so then eventually I wasn't asked to go anywhere (fine with me). I knew I was in trouble when I started to withdraw from my family. I was making myself very isolated and I knew that I couldn't go on living like that. I finally went for help in Sept. 2004 and you know I almost didn't go to that doctor's appointment! I'm on Effexor and Wellbrutin and feeling a lot better. Please make that giant step and ask for help. You will be so much better if you do and you won't have wasted so many years as I have. Please make an appointment to see a doctor. Peace.

Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 2/17/2005 7:53 AM (GMT -7)   
ohh i have Social Anixety disorder as well, somehow i managed to put it behind me it took a lot of effort. seems like your brain adjust itself to be loonly and starts to tell you " Don't go out with them , etc ". sometimes you should not listen to your brain haha

let's give an example. i'm in this gathering on the table i don't follow the conversation or say anything because my brain is distracted by some other issue. suddenly someone mentions my name and says why is akram not saying anything!! and it was an 11 year old cousin of mine , when she did that it then hit me and i said to myself " There is something wrong with me !!". when your in a social gathering try and get "other" stuff off your head if you can, it helps :) , so you can really be part of the gathering..

Jeannette
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2004
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/17/2005 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Akram: I'm still not all that comfortable in social situations but I'm improving. The ironic thing was that when I was younger I never wanted to stay home. But I think the social anxiety sneaked up on me over the years although I was always very shy and quiet with strangers and acquaintances. Thanks for your advise. You're right - it is so easy to daydream and not focus on what other people are saying.
Peace.

Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 2/17/2005 8:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Now that i look back, i think i see soxial anixety a lot when i first started work and meeting new people everyday, when i was about 22. the more new people i met that i was able to relate with the better i became socially.

I remember my first ever job interview, i was so embarassed , after the usual hellos, i was asked " what can do you? " and my brain just simply stoped thinking i was speechles for some reason... and i said " i can do some things ... errrr etc " then the interviewer said " hmm i see etc " i was so embarrased not sure why the words stoped comming out , i felt very shy etc.

Also my female encounters were always tough, i wasn't used to speaking with women and if i was invited into a social gathering, and a certain women was nice or friendly to me i felt a sudden blush and as if i have a crush on her , it was very wierd, the more i became sociable with women the more normal i felt around them.

in short, i believe social anxiety is very much treatable.. you can get over it with expirience and TRYING more hehe. don't ever give up or think you can't do it.

Cheia
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 2/17/2005 10:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi,
Although you feel like a freak, I have found that people really are very understanding, if you can bring yourself to tell them.  I suffered for years, and was sure there was no real underlying problem. After recovering with Effexor (whole new set of problems there) I began to see things differently.  I read a line in a book which said "depression is rage denied". Whoa, I felt like a hammer dropped, and a light went on at the same time! I try hard now to keep control of the influences other people have on me (as I internalize anger). It's exhausting, but worth the effort. Find your "button" and try to keep people from being able to push it!

Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 2/20/2005 12:36 AM (GMT -7)   
cheia, you feel a lot of anger? or let's say "hidden anger" that you don't show? thats like me i keep it inside.. day by day and one day " BOOM" lol. for the causes of anger, simply when some of my loved ones speak they used to irritate me by just speaking.. or walkin making some noise it didn't make sense.. since i was on zeldox though that was history..

Camey0777
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 2/21/2005 5:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi almost gone, I hope you'll take a chance and get to know some of the people on this site. Because alot of people have been throiugh alot of experiences and can maybe relate to you and beside you just never know how your story may help someone else. Please don't give up. I have had a very hard life. I to have a story and been through so much. i currentky have crohns disease and that has been awful but I keep donnected to the boards and talk to people and feel alot better just venting or getting things off my chest. I would be interested in hearing your story If there is any way I can help I'd be glad to. I am a great listener. I may now be able to solve your problems but sometimes just getting things off your chest can help a great deal. We have all be thriugh something. so more than others, but many can relate to alot of peoples problems. you can e-mail me direstly if you'd like at donna_marquart2000@yahoo.com. I will reply. I am a 43 year ld mom and wife, I have two kids a 24 yo daughter and 25 yo son and I have three grandkids. I have a wonderful husband, a a good life now other than the daily grind of being so sick with crohns disease. Have been told that I may die if things don't start to turn around with this disease. I've been very sick for 11 months and have not eaten any solid food for 11 months, being fed through IV tube. I'd like to help you if I can. So if you want to talk please feel free to e-mail me. As I said I am a grear listener. Hope today is much better for you. each day you make through nis a great accomplishment. so keep hanging in there. Donna
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